Itaril

[Dimturiel]

Maybe the fact that Itaril will fall for Legolas (assuming it's him, but I'm 99% sure it really is) is not that bad. I mean, think of this: she could have fallen for Bilbo instead. Or she could have been Thorin's love interest and convince him to renounce his greedy ways (then, of course, she will be quickly dismissed from the king's guard, because seriously now, a relationship between a member of Thranduil's guard and a dwarf?. How positively scandalous!). See? It could always be worse.

[Elfchick7]

Originally Posted by Dimturiel

Or she could have been Thorin's love interest and convince him to renounce his greedy ways.

I mean, I'd fall for Thorin if he's played by Richard Armitage. :P

Seriously, though, I really hope that P.J. doesn't screw up this story too much. I thought that he did a fairly decent job with LOTR, in spite of some painful character rewrites, but from what I've been hearing, I'm more than a little worried about the fate of the hobbit.

[Galadriel]

Originally Posted by Dimturiel

Or she could have been Thorin's love interest and convince him to renounce his greedy ways (then, of course, she will be quickly dismissed from the king's guard, because seriously now, a relationship between a member of Thranduil's guard and a dwarf?. How positively scandalous!). See? It could always be worse.

No, actually, that would be better!

[xMellrynxMaidenx]

Well I say she should have been Bombur's love interest instead.

Coax him into joining weight watchers and the like...

Poor Tolkien is probably doing back flips, front flips, cartwheels and any other type of exercise you can think of, in his grave currently. I'm not against her completely, but I knew something like this would happen, given you don't see any females- save for Lobelia (sp?) I think- in the book (rather, none that Tolkien had paid specific attention to).

Knowing PJ's track record, Leggy and Itaril will be out fighting heck off hinges in the Bot5A and she'll do exactly what Galadriel said:

Better than that, during the Battle of Five Armies Itaril can leap in front of Legolas and say while she is wheezing her last wheeze, "*gasp* Some people *choke* do crazy things *snort* when they're in love."

[Galadriel55]

How about Bilbo's long lost ex-wife?

"Bilbo, honey, do bring me the Arkenstone, please. It would make me really happy. There you go! You've always been a good boy."
*makes retching noises*

[Galadriel55]

Ronan didn't sign the contract yet! She says here that she will play Itaril, but what if she changes her mind all of a sudden?

[Erendis]

Allright,we will have a kick-*** Mary Sue,Legolas in love,a disapproving Thranduil-because the bad ada-in-law is also essential-,and a single-horned goat.Splendid!

By the way,I have two additions here:
a)Aragorn in the love story causing a love triangle because Itaril has a taste for early teenagers.Legolas keeps a grudge and guess how Gollum escaped
b)Since the goat is multicoloured,she must be the pet of Saruman of Many Colours.

[TheMisfortuneTeller]

The very name of the character sounds like a synthetic drug with numerous debilitating side-effects, something like Sildenafil: a drug first developed to treat angina but, because of its unanticipated side effects, marketed instead as an oral treatment for erectile dysfunction -- notwithstanding "reports of vision loss in people taking PDE5 inhibitors" (Wikipedia).

Since Tolkien's Elves have pretty much given up on Middle-earth and haven't reproduced much in several thousand years, the whole concept of "young" elves who "fall in love" with each other (before catching the last boat to the Undying Lands) sounds too ludicrous to contemplate. Nonetheless, even the ridiculous can inspire poetic -- if not pharmacological -- possibilities. Consider:

"Elvish Erectile Dysfunction"

Itaril,
What cheesy swill:
A damsel dim and shallow.

Itaril,
Sildenafil:
Viagra for the fallow.

Itaril,
Progammed to kill,
Yet gooey as marshmallow.

Itaril,
An elf-chick thrill,
Synthetic, sick, and hollow.

Itaril,
A bitter pill,
Impossible to swallow.

Michael Murry, "The Misfortune Teller," Copyright 2011

[Mithalwen]

Originally Posted by Galadriel55

Ronan didn't sign the contract yet! She says here that she will play Itaril, but what if she changes her mind all of a sudden?

Maybe it isn't her? I wonder if they are having second thoughts. I am not a huge fan of the films - I haven't watched the later ones all the way through since I saw them in the cinema. So I am probably very out of touch with the zeitgeist of the people who really like the films, but has anyone been enthusiastic about the Itaril role? They did change the Arwen Warrior princesss scenario. However they do have 2 films to fill now... so presumably have to make up some drivel.

Also with PJ's surgery and juggling Martin Freeman's commitment to Sherlock (26 weeks of this year!) it may be difficult to firm up the contracts of actors playing relatively peripheral characters but who maybe otherwise in demand. After all if you want the likes of Cate Blanchett to do a cameo you probably have to film it when it suits her even if you are Peter Jackson.

[TheMisfortuneTeller]

When I first got wind of this transparent travesty, I thought: "Oh, sure. And you might as well let Vicky Vale into the Bat Cave and Lois Lane into the Fortress of Solitude while you're at it." Then I remembered that someone actually did those dreadful deeds -- and made lots of money doing them. Consequently (as a form of D.I.Y. psychotherapy for literary depression), I thought of:

"Androgynous Casting Calls"

A casting call went out one day,
An actress wanted to portray
A crappy Hollywood cliché,
A role called Mary Sue:
A female elf, both fell and fey,
And young, as well, which is to say,
In love, and thus all hot to slay
Whatever troll gets in the way
Between her and her Elf Lord gay --

"Oh, what's a girl to do?"

"For if my lord loves him, not me,
Or -- even worse -- a Dwarf or tree,
What good can Kung-Fu training be
If I don't get some kissing?"

Yet few who know would disagree
That half-a-billion budgets free
Directors from Earth’s gravity.
So killer-elf-chick scenes we’ll see
With young elf lords AC/DC:
The Hobbit as some bad TV,
Discounted soon on DVD –

With only Tolkien missing.

Michael Murry, "The Misfortune Teller," Copyright 2011