Tolkien Translated... into Googlese

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Originally Posted by Urwen

How did you guess that?!

Answer: Easily

Originally Posted by Pitchwife

"Those Nazgûl give me the creeps. And they skin the body off you as soon as look at you, and leave you all cold in the dark on the other side." Gorbag to Shagrat, feeding speculations about what's been called 'Nazgûl purgatory'.

Indeed! The other quote, for that matter, is from the Hobbit:

"Little bunny is getting nice and fat again on bread and honey," he chuckled. "Come and have some more!"

The interesting thing is that the "come and have some more" eventually became just the question mark. At some point, it was "Too!", later "Too?" and in the end only "?". But I would say "Century, Tags, Obesity Bread of Love "and she Smiled!" is quite awkward change there

[Pitchwife]

Originally Posted by Legate

But I would say "Century, Tags, Obesity Bread of Love "and she Smiled!" is quite awkward change there

Indeed, 'awkward' doesn't begin to describe it!

But what do you make of this:

Prince Castle dwarf baby skin is beautiful! If you know that recreation and fishing in the Mediterranean coast of Sutherland.

25 translations. Eönwë's forbidden to guess.

[Loslote]

I don't think it's been done yet, so, at 25 translations:

"Door, but now Bixu Xiang this line because it was more than a foot in the schools, roads and community needs. Well, as I do not know."

Any guesses?

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Originally Posted by Pitchwife

But what do you make of this:

25 translations. Eönwë's forbidden to guess.

And I guess I am forbidden too. Hilarious, though!

Originally Posted by Loslote

I don't think it's been done yet, so, at 25 translations:



Any guesses?

Honestly puzzled

[Pitchwife]

Originally Posted by Legate of Amon Lanc

And I guess I am forbidden too.

I'm afraid so...

Originally Posted by Legate re: Lottie's

Honestly puzzled

I say! 'Bixu Xiang' sounds like it could be some place in Khand, or rather Far Rhûn, where the stars are different etc. Not sure that's canonical, though...

But d'you all know what, since this turning more and more into a quote quiz after all (and maybe predictably so, although I didn't foresee it when I started it) I've been thinking whether we shouldn't try to establish some order of procedure rather than go on posting new translations while there are still a lot unidentified. So if you think this is fun enough to continue, I suggest we* start a new thread in Quotable Quotes**, and either

• repost all hitherto unidentified quotes there, and whoever guesses the last one gets to ask a new one, or
• we all reveal the quotes to our hitherto unidentified translations on this thread, and start afresh on the other one.

Seeing how weird some of the results have turned out, it might also be wise to set a maximum of e.g. 10 or 25 translation rounds.
Thoughts, suggestions, criticism?
*(probably meaning myself, as the original thread owner, but I'd be perfectly fine with someone else doing it once we've agreed on how to handle it.)
**(Yes, Urwen, I know you've tried to do that already... shall we just say, great minds are sometimes ahead of their time and therefore misunderstood by their contemporaries?)

[Loslote]

Sounds like a good idea. How about we just reveal our quotes? Mine was "The Road Goes Ever On and On" - the Bixu Xiang showed up after a Chinese translation early on.

[Pitchwife]

Originally Posted by Loslote

Mine was "The Road Goes Ever On and On" - the Bixu Xiang showed up after a Chinese translation early on.

*major headdesk (or facepalm: I'm not sure which applies here, but meaning "I'd never have guessed that")*
Care to give some of the intermediate stages?

And thanks for the feedback. Maybe this has the potential for two threads - a quizzy one in QQ, and a more linguistically-minded one enquiring into how exactly these translations turn out the weird way they do. I'd be quite interested in the latter, and I imagine some others might be, too, but probably not that many - and if the thread turned into this direction, it might be considered misplaced in Mirth, and possibly off-topic altogether on a Tolkien forum. Comments, opinions (esp. by the Mods)?

[Guinevere]

Originally Posted by Pitchwife

But d'you all know what, since this turning more and more into a quote quiz after all (and maybe predictably so, although I didn't foresee it when I started it) I've been thinking whether we shouldn't try to establish some order of procedure rather than go on posting new translations while there are still a lot unidentified. So if you think this is fun enough to continue, I suggest we* start a new thread in Quotable Quotes**, and either

• repost all hitherto unidentified quotes there, and whoever guesses the last one gets to ask a new one, or
• we all reveal the quotes to our hitherto unidentified translations on this thread, and start afresh on the other one.

Seeing how weird some of the results have turned out, it might also be wise to set a maximum of e.g. 10 or 25 translation rounds.
Thoughts, suggestions, criticism?
*(probably meaning myself, as the original thread owner, but I'd be perfectly fine with someone else doing it once we've agreed on how to handle it.)
**(Yes, Urwen, I know you've tried to do that already... shall we just say, great minds are sometimes ahead of their time and therefore misunderstood by their contemporaries?)

A similar Game thread started already as early as 2000 Another mistranslation ! and lasted until 2005

And this one:Lost in Translation
People used this to translate, something very like the site Pitchwife found.

[Pitchwife]

Ah, so I've once more re-invented the wheel, it seems. Serves me right for not searching. Thanks for the links, Guinevere! *goes browsing*

[Orofarne]

Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow, etc., became, after 25 translations "Tom Bombadil was a man full of shoes, blue and yellow jacket. Adam was arrested when he was gentelman. Play music and leg heal quickly." Hmm, I do not think Tom Bombadil would recognise it.
I tried one line, just one! And "Rowan mine, I saw you shine, upon the summer's day," becomes "Raun, I look to the summer," in ten translations. Sorry if I broke the rules by volunteering these.

[Pitchwife]

Hi Orofarne, and welcome to the Downs if I haven't welcomed you yet!
Up to now, no rules about how to continue this have been agreed on, so you certainly can't have broken any.
Funny translations, anyway. You may or may not be aware of this, but Tom Bombadil's nature and identity has been a much discussed topic on these Downs, and one suggestion offered I don't know when & where by I don't know whom was that Tom & Goldberry represent an unfallen version of Adam & Eve, so I find it quite fascinating that 'Adam' would pop up in this context... wonder which language did that.
And this is rather off-topic Tolkienwise, but you inspired me to try

When Adam delved and Eve span, who was then the gentleman?

which after only 10 translations became

When he beat Adam and Eve, who is that?

PS *points to your signature* Exactly!

[Pitchwife]

Sorry for double-posting on my own thread, but this random quote from the upper left corner cried out to be translated, and the results were remarkably coherent, if somewhat surrealistic.

Old fool! Why there is a large patch in the hollow of his left breast as bare as a snail out of its shell.

(Bilbo after discovering Smaug's weak spot in The Hobbit)
became after 10 translations (sorry if this isn't exactly family-friendly):

Life is a lie! Why is it very convenient, the famine, and a turtle in a container, such as bare breasts.

after 25:

Life is good! Since this is so simple, thirst for container and turtle on his chest.

after maximum of translations:

Life is beautiful! One reason for this is simple: the heart, courage and adventure in sea.

I'm sure Horatio Hornblower would have agreed.

[LadyBrooke]

“Bless us and splash us, my precioussss! I guess it’s a choice feast; at least a tasty morsel it’d make us, gollum!”

quickly descends into Gollum becoming Conan. Highlights from 56 translations.

To bless us and the beginning for us, precioussss my country! I think it was in the party elections, at least a large part of that will make us, Conan! "

Not sure what party elections have to do with becoming a different person, Gollum.

To bless us in the beginning for us, precioussss my country! I think that elections in the country, at least most of them will allow us, Conan!

Allow you Conan how Are you a celebrity stalker waiting to kidnap and murder them?

Let's start with a greeting precioussss home! I think the electoral situation, but at least we give Conan! '

Make up your mind. First you are him, then you want the government to allow you to do something to him, now you're giving him away.

we go! I think the elections, we Conan the situation, at least!

How do you Conan a situation?

I think our election Canon status, at least!

What election? Who got elected?? Aragorn held elections??? WHAT??????????

I think our position options for the Canon, at least!

What position? You and Smeagul can't agree on a thing.

I think our options for our attitudes, Canon, at least!

Well, yes, the fact that you have multiple personalities and they can't agree with each other is canon.

I think our options for our relationship, Canon, at least!

There aren't options in canon. You two are never going to be anything but arguing with each other.

I think our choice for our relationship, Canon, at least!

You don't have a choice. You're a fictional character. You do what the author says.

I think our choice for our relationship, cannon, at least!

HEY! Why are you aiming a cannon at me? Wait what are you *bang*

[Guinevere]

Incredible!
I noticed that the more translations, the shorter the quote gets i.e. the more words get left out. I wonder why.

[Aiwendil]

I love how "Conan" appears out of nowhere, eventually becomes "Canon", and finally ends up as "cannon".

Of course, neither Conan nor cannons are in the Canon.

[Bom Tombadillo]

Of course, we do not see the data in the dark! "The Hobbit" is being held in the evening because it would undermine the rain, I know!

Does anybody else love how it translates to "The Hobbit?"

A rather obvious one here:

What kind of things, to break the path of wisdom.

And now, translating from the famous Upper-Left-Hand Corner:

Dark place, not our destination if we really live, the right to retain or lose, but the problem is less a breakthrough.

[Rikae]

1. ------ see every page, I can not go to the final cost of any change in our music, however.

2. Have a friend or an enemy, the devil Annick Election Guide, or the death of another person in the world can do without laws, and love in hell or evil, or God, not the power of the game, not ----- Taoyan protect children, but in either steal or find a ---------.

Names that didn't change removed.

[Bom Tombadillo]

Wow. This gets insane at large amounts of translations (which I didn't try before since it took a while to do even the minimum 10 translations from my iPad, which is what I was posting from before).

Hill, curiosity and fear of war dead bird. This is a group of three people to help buy a thunderbird?

Rainy days in port the day before. But if you understand the concerns of Western Consumers.

And yes, that came from TOLKIEN.

And the whopper:

Gold weight and length - of losses, lost 0, the second is, you will see a shadow.

For reference, that's the first six lines (it wouldn't let me enter the rest) of the poem about Strider. I'm giving you the answer on this one because I think it's frankly impossible to guess.

"Some issues and some problems in my family is happy dragon, I think?"

is translated from

"The Ring! Is it not a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt for so small a thing? And I have seen if only for an instant in the house of Elrond. Could I not have a sight of it again?"

"All Ages, stone age, he is the owner of the horse she is black."

Since this can alllllmost be guessed, I'll leave it alone. :P

""Home koukhgrongsnamamgr park pirates! Finally cool."

I think something didn't get translated back . . . Maybe there wasn't an equivalent for it in English? That happened once when it translated something to Arabic - it showed one of the words in English.

[Evisse the Blue]

Original text:

"We cannot use the Ruling Ring. That we now know too well. It belongs to Sauron and was made by him alone, and is altogether evil. Its strength, Boromir, is too great for anyone to wield at will, save only those who have already a great power of their own. But for them it holds an even deadlier peril. The very desire of it corrupts the heart. "

...30 translations later we get:

"We can not remove the ring. Now we know. The best part of the evil Sauron. Boluomier main effects of individual or team. Risk of death. I really do not want a broken heart."

Hey this sounds like a regular movie script :P

Also:

Original text:

"The fleeting moment had passed, beyond recall. 'Sneaking, sneaking!' he hissed. 'Hobbits always so polite, yes. O nice hobbits! Sméagol brings them up secret ways that nobody else could find. Tired he is, thirsty he is, yes thirsty; and he guides them and he searches for paths, and they say sneak, sneak . Very nice friends, O yes my precious, very nice.'"

...20 translations later we get:

"Authorized an immediate reaction. Craven, nonsense! And teeth. The Hobbit hobby is very polite, friendly. Oh! Smeagol fine, nobody is. Tired of Hu Jintao, seven, seven, who is responsible, I say unto you, dissemination and infiltration. A good friend of my son too. ""

This is strange, I picked an 'easier' passage on purpose and it got even more messed up than a difficult one (if the degree of 'mess-up' can even be accurately measured with these things...)

[Galadriel55]

The original

Turn round and let me have a look at your faces. I almost feel that I dislike you both, but do not let us be hasty. Turn round!

after 10 translations

Dani, let me see your face. Just do not like too much, but we do not intend to run. Abstract!

after 56 translations

Danny shows his face. You do not like my explanation.

How random is that?

*Note: apparently 'Dani' is a word that's untranslateable.

[Pitchwife]

Nice to see this thread is still providing amusement!

Originally Posted by Rikae

Have a friend or an enemy, the devil Annick Election Guide, or the death of another person in the world can do without laws, and love in hell or evil, or God, not the power of the game, not ----- Taoyan protect children, but in either steal or find a ---------.

This has to be the oath of the Fëanorians:

Originally Posted by The Lay of Leithian

Be he friend or foe, or demon wild
of Morgoth, Elf or mortal child,
or any that here on earth may dwell,
no law, nor love, nor league of hell,
no might of Gods, no binding spell
shall him defend from hatred fell
of Fëanor's sons, whoso take or steal
or finding keep a Silmaril.

Some intriguing name changes there, especially "the devil Annick". Wonder where that came from...

Here's another quote of the day:

As soon as I clapped eyes on the little fellow bobbing and puffing on the mat I had my doubts. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar.

After 10 translations:

As long as children on the playground in his eyes dancing blanket, I doubt that my own breath. It looks more like a thief trader.

After the maximal 56:

Dance spirit is not the game, but I want to. Retail and theft.

[Galadriel55]

Originally Posted by Pitchwife

Nice to see this thread is still providing amusement!

Why wouldn't it? The things here are hilarious! Thank you, Pitchie, for such a great thread!

The doom lies in yourself, not in your name.

after 10 translations turned to be

Expected at home, in his speech.

The original

To sheep other sheep no doubt appear different. Or to shepherds. But Mortals have not been our study. We have other business.

after 30 translations became

Sheep and sheep, of course, is another factor. Please priest. But this is not our research. We still have a job.

[Rikae]

Originally Posted by Pitchwife

This has to be the oath of the Fëanorians:

Yep, that's it.

[Galadriel55]

"Saruman is a fool, and a dirty treacherous fool. But the eye is on him."

Became after 50 translations:

"Obunsaruman quickly disappear. But in the public eye."

And "Nonetheless they will have need of wood." , a relatively simple line, became:

"By J. Wood"

[Galadriel55]

"The road goes ever on and on" --> "way better than before" (10 translations)

And I randomly typed in "Lothlorien", and it became "Ross, Lauri wine." There were a few yen in the middle.
Silverlode became "Filo reasons."
Elanor and niphredil became "Nifredil stadium."
Cerin Amroth became "Cherry Delight."
Anduin was the worst one - "Drosibas vyenlaisigi agent?"
Arwen Evenstar="Status of the stadium."

Tell you something about the place, doesn't it?

PS: "The Lord of the Rings" turns out to be "Health".