The Barrow Downs Newspaper - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Glirdan · 02-28-2011, 02:32 PM

The Poor Children!!!!!!

the phantom · 02-28-2011, 04:17 PM

DEAR DOWNER
THIS WEEK’S GUEST COLUMNIST- Urwen

Nerwen writes- Who is better- Maedhros, Glaurung, Eru, or Beren?
Urwen answers- Well Maedhros is totally out, since he’s the one that made Melkor mad enough to make the plague that killed Lalaith. Plus everyone knows Melkor used Maedhros’s severed hand as source material. Glaurung was very very mean to Lalaith’s family, and he probably even laughed when she died. And Eru didn’t spare her somehow, even though her brother was. What, was she unworthy?! Big jerk. And Beren wouldn’t give the Silmaril to Feanor’s sons, so they got mad, and that’s why Doriath didn’t help Maedhros’s alliance, and if they had maybe they would’ve been strong enough to move quicker ahead of the plague or maybe Melian could’ve healed Lalaith or something. So no- they’re all bad!

Rikae writes- Would you be so kind as to come up with a scenario in which Lalaith marries Aragorn?
Urwen answers- Ha, I thought of that years ago!
Maedhros: “Never mind Morgoth. We give up. Let’s talk.”
Morgoth: “Okay, so, you surrender now?”
Maedhros: *stalls* “Um….”
Morgoth: “So….?”
Maedhros: “Ha ha, I was kidding! Just giving time for all children to be evacuated! Now we fight!
Thingol: “Yes, we will take care of Turin and Lalaith for you, Hurin.”
Melian: “And I will send Lalaith to Beren and Luthien and have them put her into enchanted sleep, because I had a dream that said Turin would marry his sister!”
Hurin: “Thanks, you guys are great.”
Luthien: “Hi, Lalaith. We’re taking you up to a cave in Ered Luin to sleep.”
**Many years pass**
Cirdan: “I’ve lived around here a long time, but never noticed this cave before.”
Lalaith: “I’m awake now!”
Cirdan: “I will send you to Elrond to grow up. He can tell you all the history you missed.”
Elrond: “Good job Lalaith. You’re completely smart now, and a good fighter and everything.”
Lalaith: “Who’s that?”
Elrond: “That’s my adopted son, Aragorn. He just got back from a long trip.”
Aragorn: “You’re really pretty and funny and stuff. I like you.”
Lalaith: “Yay!”

Galadriel55 writes- I think that the next logical step after obsession with a fictional toddler would be obsession with a real life toddler. What do you say to that?
Urwen answers- I'm kinda there already. I killed my parents so I could have my little sister, and I made her to answer to “Lalaith”. When she started looking too old to be Lalaith, I killed her and had her stuffed. Now she can always be my Lalaith! I love going on walks with her (I pull her in a wagon).

Phantom writes- Who’s your favorite Tolkien character?
Urwen answers- Oh, ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Sally writes- I heard a rumor that you’re secretly Nog, and he created your account just to have a bit of fun with us.
Urwen answers- Oh my! Perhaps we can have a private chat about this?

satansaloser2005 · 02-28-2011, 04:23 PM

That last one totally happened, except the chat had nothing to do with Nog being Urwen.

Galadriel55 · 02-28-2011, 04:50 PM

Hahaha! Really? Urwen, you'd really kill Lalaith because you're upsest with her?

Quote:

Who’s your favorite Tolkien character?

What a question!

Pitchwife · 03-02-2011, 01:31 PM

Did you do anything with Greenie's eyes on that pic, Hookbill, or is that a light effect? She looks so blissfully zombified!

Hookbill the Goomba · 03-02-2011, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pitchwife

Did you do anything with Greenie's eyes on that pic, Hookbill, or is that a light effect? She looks so blissfully zombified!

No, but I wish I had.

Hookbill the Goomba · 03-06-2011, 06:01 PM

A magnificent round of lies and slander! Also, this weeks' Downer.

Thanks to Blind Guardian for this weeks second story!

And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING

There's a joke I meant to do in P&A around here but I completely forgot about it. I'll have to do it later. It was very funny.

02-28-2011, 02:32 PM	#1
Glirdan Energetic Essence Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew Posts: 3,285	The Poor Children!!!!!! __________________ *I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face!* Fenris Wolf

02-28-2011, 04:17 PM	#2
the phantom Beloved Shadow Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: The Stadium Posts: 5,971	DEAR DOWNER THIS WEEK’S GUEST COLUMNIST- Urwen Nerwen writes- Who is better- Maedhros, Glaurung, Eru, or Beren? Urwen answers- Well Maedhros is totally out, since he’s the one that made Melkor mad enough to make the plague that killed Lalaith. Plus everyone knows Melkor used Maedhros’s severed hand as source material. Glaurung was very very mean to Lalaith’s family, and he probably even laughed when she died. And Eru didn’t spare her somehow, even though her brother was. What, was she unworthy?! Big jerk. And Beren wouldn’t give the Silmaril to Feanor’s sons, so they got mad, and that’s why Doriath didn’t help Maedhros’s alliance, and if they had maybe they would’ve been strong enough to move quicker ahead of the plague or maybe Melian could’ve healed Lalaith or something. So no- they’re all bad! Rikae writes- Would you be so kind as to come up with a scenario in which Lalaith marries Aragorn? Urwen answers- Ha, I thought of that years ago! Maedhros: “Never mind Morgoth. We give up. Let’s talk.” Morgoth: “Okay, so, you surrender now?” Maedhros: stalls “Um….” Morgoth: “So….?” Maedhros: “Ha ha, I was kidding! Just giving time for all children to be evacuated! Now we fight! Thingol: “Yes, we will take care of Turin and Lalaith for you, Hurin.” Melian: “And I will send Lalaith to Beren and Luthien and have them put her into enchanted sleep, because I had a dream that said Turin would marry his sister!” Hurin: “Thanks, you guys are great.” Luthien: “Hi, Lalaith. We’re taking you up to a cave in Ered Luin to sleep.” Many years pass Cirdan: “I’ve lived around here a long time, but never noticed this cave before.” Lalaith: “I’m awake now!” Cirdan: “I will send you to Elrond to grow up. He can tell you all the history you missed.” Elrond: “Good job Lalaith. You’re completely smart now, and a good fighter and everything.” Lalaith: “Who’s that?” Elrond: “That’s my adopted son, Aragorn. He just got back from a long trip.” Aragorn: “You’re really pretty and funny and stuff. I like you.” Lalaith: “Yay!” Galadriel55 writes- I think that the next logical step after obsession with a fictional toddler would be obsession with a real life toddler. What do you say to that? Urwen answers- I'm kinda there already. I killed my parents so I could have my little sister, and I made her to answer to “Lalaith”. When she started looking too old to be Lalaith, I killed her and had her stuffed. Now she can always be my Lalaith! I love going on walks with her (I pull her in a wagon). Phantom writes- Who’s your favorite Tolkien character? Urwen answers- Oh, ha ha ha ha ha!!! Sally writes- I heard a rumor that you’re secretly Nog, and he created your account just to have a bit of fun with us. Urwen answers- Oh my! Perhaps we can have a private chat about this? __________________ the phantom has posted. This thread is now important.

02-28-2011, 04:23 PM	#3
satansaloser2005 The Sweetest Spoiler Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: from beneath you it giggles incessantly Posts: 5,789	That last one totally happened, except the chat had nothing to do with Nog being Urwen. __________________ "My heart always cowers behind the defense of my wit." Friendship is two pals munching on a well-cooked face together. Fenris bookworm.

03-02-2011, 01:31 PM	#5
Pitchwife Wight of the Old Forest Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Unattended on the railway station, in the litter at the dancehall Posts: 3,329	Did you do anything with Greenie's eyes on that pic, Hookbill, or is that a light effect? She looks so blissfully zombified! __________________ Und aus dem Erebos kamen viele seelen herauf der abgeschiedenen toten.- Homer, Odyssey, Canto XI

03-06-2011, 06:01 PM	#7
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	A magnificent round of lies and slander! Also, this weeks' Downer. Thanks to Blind Guardian for this weeks second story! And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian. Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the... PHANTOM AND ALIEN COMIC ARCHIVE THING There's a joke I meant to do in P&A around here but I completely forgot about it. I'll have to do it later. It was very funny. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

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