I met a fellow BDer!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Okay, let's do this!!

You may have seen pictures, you may have heard the rumours, you may even have been there in person; but none of that could be enough. If I were you, I'd prepare my internal organs for HOOKBILL'S BARROW DOWNS BRITAIN MOOT REPORT 2012 WOW! Or HBDBMRTW for short.



Top: Guinevere, Oliphaunts_Rule, Aganzir, Pomegranate, A Little Green, Thinlómien
Middle: Oddwen, Hookbill the Goomba, Estelyn Telcontar, Legate of Amon Lanc
Bottom: Kath, The Squatter of Amon Rûdh

So let's talk people. For no other reason than convenience, I'll discuss in the order they appear in the image above.

Guinevere
I'd met her once or twice before, at Oxonmoot I think, and it's always a pleasure. Softly spoken and polite, very much a respectable gentle-hobbit! While quiet, her contributions were always valuable and she had new perspectives on Tolkien and the Barrow Downs that were always neat to hear. I particularly recall her method of dealing with Palantir of Fortune by carrying the notes around in her bag!

Oliphaunts_Rule
I'd never met her before, but it was still a grand meeting. She and Oddwen seemed to have a bottomless well of inside jokes (NOT THE JELLY!!) but we soon added to her numbers. I loved her idea of dressing up a Spock for our Tolkien costume party; it reflected ideas I'd had to dress as Tom Baker for an Oxonmoot one year. She's a mean Apples to Apples player and managed to hunt down the best Wi-Fi spots in the cottage LIKE A BOSS.

Aganzir
WARNING: THIS ONE BITES. DO NOT FEED. I've met Agan a few times and every time things get a little sillier and stranger! When not trying to cannibalise her fellow Downers, she's sweet and thoughtful and has an impressive beard. There was a noted lack of Jon Snow attacks from me this year, which is probably why we got on a little better... *whistles innocently*

Pomegranate
Honestly, I'd never even seen her on the Downs! I felt bad and after meeting her I decided to expand my horizons out of Mirth for a while. She had a thousand stories and songs to sing! Well, one song about a Rover who was Seldom Sober that was sung repeatedly anyway. We had a good few conversations about life the universe and everything and it was cool!

A Little Green
NASTY LITTLE HOBBITSES! Greenie has the best Gollum impression in the world! I'm sure this has been said before but it bears repeating. Moreover, she's a brave soul of impeccable ambition, and I could not help being impressed with her tales of adventure and excitement from her globe trotting. I think we interacted more this year than last year and it was all to the good. She has excellent perspectives and is a joy to talk to, but she will probably bite your finger off if you steal her precious!

Thinlómien
Lommy is far more than just another penguin! Excitable and engaging and other alliterative words all jumble together when trying to give her a description. We've met a few times and interacted on the Downs and elsewhere enough for conversation to be understandable when done mostly with jokes. Just don't let her make bacon near the smoke alarms!

Oddwen
She earned her place as the Downer Newspaper's resident odd expert. So many inside jokes that not even I could keep track of them all! We met before, of course, and we'd talked on Skype and elsewhere, too, so we were able to settle into a stream of conciousness type conversation easily. We both faced horrible troubles thanks to transport issues, so I think we gained a lot of mutual respect for that.

Hookbill the Goomba
I hate this guy! I'm glad he's dead!

Estelyn Telcontar
Oh moderator our moderator! Although, she did not seem too eager to jump into moderating us rapscallions, she needed a holiday! Esty is another wonderfully Hobbitish, kind-hearted dear, and she cooks better than she cooks! She could work seamlessly from the silliest conversations right into deep discussions of some obscure reference in a Tolkien letter. I got a copy of her book (Music in Middle Earth) and she signed it, which I was very grateful for. Her pink wizard costume(s) had us all in stitches and it went down a storm at Return of the Ring!

Legate of Amon Lanc
A man of many talents! Legate has a sharp humour and seems to share my love of silly voices and over exaggeration. I wish he'd been around for longer, but in the short time we had, I think we managed to confuse and delight one another enough to be acceptable. Also he gave me booze.

Kath
Don't let her primary school teacher persona fool you! She has a dark and dangerous mind of doom! Kath was invaluable throughout the moot, while I was collapsing under the weight of my own ineptitude she seemed to pick up the broken pieces and put everyone together. Even when we were asking deep, philosophical questions, like "What am I? Why am I this shape?" She's sweet, sharp, and has a brain the size of a fricking planet.

The Squatter of Amon Rûdh
The man is a mind-machine. He seems to have all the Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien memorised as well as large sections of The History of Middle Earth. He's brilliantly silly and laughed at my jokes, which is always a plus in my books. Though my eyes may have glazed over when he talked about his sports car, I don't think he held it against me. He knew his stuff, and his stuff was Tolkien! He needs to be more active on the Downs!

Now, there were other people we met along the way who did not join us at the cottage. Let us take a journey through time and space to see these strange and wonderful people, shall we? Well, you have no choice because I'm the one writing this.

Lalwendë
We'd met once before, but this time we were in the open air, with other Downers, and a tree. Lal has a wonderfully cutting humour and does not pull her punches, taking pride in her northerness and making sure everyone knows it! She helped make the moot, even if she was only with us for a day, her planning and idea pitching gave us all brilliant times, so we thank her for it!
(Le childe was also a handful, who was for some reason convinced that I was 'Doctor Who', and made me chase aliens around a tree...)

Bêthberry
I'm so glad I managed to meet Bêth again! I was so deep in money troubles that I thought I wouldn't be able to go to the Return of the Ring, but thanks to her and the rest of the mooters, I was able to! Bêthberry is a sweety and manages to light up the company whatever the mood. Her Mrs Maggot costume was adorable and I wish I'd had more time to talk to her properly.

Faramir Jones
We met briefly and I went to his lecture on Law and Hobbits. It was great and I really respect the time and effort Jones puts in. He's always got a neat view on the issues that I hadn't thought of before and is always a pleasure to hear out. And having a cool accent doesn't hurt, either.

Poison Ivy
I met her a few times while at Return of the Ring! She is always very kind and supportive and seemed to like my costume. Her Ivy Bush Inn was inspired, and a little crazy. And we on the Downs think crazy is always a good thing.

narfforc
I spotted him walking around but didn't interact beyond a polite 'hello'. Many things were going on.

Brian Sibley
He still counts, right? Our own celebrity! We got a chance to talk to him about the Lord of the Rings BBC radio drama and it was delightful. It's obvious he's as much a geek as the rest of us, he just gets paid to do it, lucky guy! No hard feelings, though.

Right, that just about wraps things up, here. Let's all make a toast to the bread makers! To the Barrow Downs! To the Professor!
Next year in Deutschland?

[davem]

BBC website has some pics http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-19317810

The re-enactment of the Wicker Man finale (pic two) is a bi-annual event, involving the ritual immolation of an unsuspecting member accompanied by the singing of 'Troll sat alone'.

[Bêthberry]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

Bêthberry
I'm so glad I managed to meet Bêth again! I was so deep in money troubles that I thought I wouldn't be able to go to the Return of the Ring, but thanks to her and the rest of the mooters, I was able to! Bêthberry is a sweety and manages to light up the company whatever the mood. Her Mrs Maggot costume was adorable and I wish I'd had more time to talk to her properly.

And I'm so glad you did come, Hooky, because I got to see your magnificent performance as Turin. Next I want to see you do Hamlet. There's never enough time just to talk because we're all running off to do that conference type thingy.

Brian Sibley
He still counts, right? Our own celebrity! We got a chance to talk to him about the Lord of the Rings BBC radio drama and it was delightful. It's obvious he's as much a geek as the rest of us, he just gets paid to do it, lucky guy! No hard feelings, though.

Here's the commemorative photo, with Brian's permission to post it here. Unfortunately, my new camera was having focussing difficulties. The only ones missing are Poison Ivy, narfforc and Oliphants_Rule, I think.

[Galadriel55]

Are the people in between Hook and Agan, and Oddy and Guinevere - Faramir Jones and Poison Ivy? Can't recognize them but it's down to elimination method (they are mentioned somewhere on the list of people Hook met, but they can't be Lal or narf judging by the photopage...etc). I don't know how either looks, though, so...

[Bêthberry]

Originally Posted by Galadriel55

Are the people in between Hook and Agan, and Oddy and Guinevere - Faramir Jones and Poison Ivy? Can't recognize them but it's down to elimination method (they are mentioned somewhere on the list of people Hook met, but they can't be Lal or narf judging by the photopage...etc). I don't know how either looks, though, so...

I couldn't edit the photo post and see the photo, so I'll try to do a name check here, Gal55

From left to right . . .

Oddwen in a red sweater around waist, next to Pomegranate in green, and then Guinevere. Brian Sibley is the guy in black sitting down.

Behind these three are Lommie, Squatter and Aganzir. Next to Aganzir is Faramir Jones in a blue shirt, Hookbill, and Kath.

Behind Brian in a blue medieval dress is Estelyn Telcontar, next to A Little Green (in a mustard green ensemble) and then Legate. In front of Legate is me (as you likely know. )

Poison Ivy alas was also absent. That makes for 17 Downers at RotR. Not bad.

There are many more pictures of us up on FB.

[Galadriel55]

Thanks, Bb! I knew most of the faces there, I just couldn't figure out PomPom and Faramir. I must say, Pom, that's not how I imagined you, but your look fits you nonetheless!

(And judging by Hook's photo Olighaunts_rule and Oddy are the same person with different hairstyles. You look so alike!)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Galadriel55

(And judging by Hook's photo Olighaunts_rule and Oddy are the same person with different hairstyles. You look so alike!)

There's only one logical explanation. Clones.

[Mithalwen]

Well since Bethberry has announced her intention or reporting on her visit here, I may as well follow perceived wisdom and get my retaliation in first!

Without boring you with too many details the Mini-moot of the Southfarthing was arranged when Bethberry, in her folly, expressed a wish to meet me again (strange but true) on her UK visit for ROTR. Now it happened that I wasn't planning on going to ROTR but Poison Ivy who is technically rather than actively a Downer but whom BB had met at an Oxonmoot, and who lives less than a mile from me, was, and that Bethberry and I were both investigating our family histories and had links to Gloucestershire villages less than a dozen miles apart, so after various possibilities had been considered it was arranged that Bethberry should stay with me from the Friday before ROTR, we would have a jaunt up to Gloucs and then Poison Ivy and Bethberry would travel together to ROTR.

Now these things seem so simple months in advance but car problems, illness, natural sloth and the fact that we were doing rather well at the Olympics (astonishing for a nation conditioned to thinking of itself as plucky losers or gallant runners up...and yes ok a lot of the medals were in "sitting down" sports but it still counts), and the planned programme of decluttering, decorating and gardening went by the by and milady Bethberry was due to arrive and the place looked like a low rent Satis House set in a jungle. But at least a guest room was habitable and mostly denuded of the handiwork of Shelob's little friends.

But though I was vaguely ready, the car had been sprung from the fettlers and even the worst case journey time between airport and my local station had elapsed there was no word from Bethberry and several attempts to call her cellphone resulted in being informed bilingually that she was not available, so I was beginning to worry. But then the phone rang and an unfamiliar voice asked for me and I had one of those awful moments when you expect to be told of accident or disaster but it was merely a nice man who had lent BB his phone.

So delaying only to put the roof down on the car (when I changed mine recently I yielded to the temptation to get an elderly rag top instead of something sensible on the grounds that Bethberry would expect it after her previous visit to an UK Downer), I went and got her. Having exchanged gifts (she brought me maple syrup in hugely indulgent quantity , I gave her a bubble sword that gave a blue glow lest there be orcs at ROTR), Bethberry discharged her duty as Shirriff and passed on a special Shirepost delivery. We then hit the Tolkien trail viewing the sites of Chris Wiseman's house and Tolkien's holiday cottage in the next village, then went for a meal and up to Lyndhurst to see the grave of Alice Liddell (Alice in Wonderland).

The next day started with another dead literary figure and a visit to the grave of Conan Doyle which happens to be in the same Forest village as Furzey Gardens, who won Gold at Chelsea - a particular achievment since the team included workers with learning disabilities. It was quite inspiring that the gardens were wonderful by any criteria. Also for the amusement of Tolkienistas were features designated as Elvish bowers and what just had to be Beorn's table.

Since one DLF is not enough for a day, we pressed on to Winchester and Jane Austen's tomb. It always amuses me that the actual floor slab makes much of what a wonderful sister and aunt she was but fails to mention the small detail of her books. Had I known then that Bethberry is not a fan I might have had to kill her or at least start a twelve step programme but she wisely concealed this information until the eve of her departure, and at least was able to experience the quintessential English experience of choral evensong. Not, since it was holidays, the cathedral choristers but a first rate guest choir.

The next day saw us meet up with Poison Ivy and we had lunch in Hobbits restaurant in Hythe. They are hobbity themed but haven't run foul of the Saul Zaentz company,apparently since they don't sell merchandise. Then we went to the New Forest wildlife park. We saw wild boar (unskewered by spear thrusts), wargs, the most adorable otters and a tame deer which ate my skirt, possibly in revenge for the Bambi burger I had eaten a few days previously. Bethberry was spared a DLF for a dead folk hero and we visited the grave of Brusher Mills, the Snake catcher, at the ancient church in Brockenhurst on the way back to Poison Ivy's hobbitly comfortable house for wine and the LOTR musical dvd (music and stills).

Monday started with various alarums and excursions. Apart from the usual paranoia of "Have I locked doors?" etc (telling BB to assure me should I have "a moment" later along the way that I had checked the gas and immersion were off and had locked the back door, didn't stop me checking another five times) I managed to lose the car key and, in a last minute decision to get a bag for the maps, I managed to up turn a pot of paint in the half decorated kitchen. Unfortunately I didn't realise this until I had also spread it over the hall carpet and, as it transpired when I had cleared everything else up, myself. After a bit of a hunt I managed to find garments that hadn't been packed or eaten and we finally managed to head of on the expedition. Sadly the traditional English weather of heavy cloud and heavy rain had turned up but we ploughed on westwards, acquired a substitute camera for BB who had exhausted hers by photographing every bit of thatch in south Hampshire , thinking there would be time on her return I spared her the Shelley memorial in Christchurch Priory and we pressed on to the Miramar and then the site of Tolkien's bungalow in Branksome Chine. Then it seemed like a bright idea to bypass the horrors of driving in Poole on a wet lunchtime and take the Sandbanks ferry across the mouth of the harbour to the glorious Isle of Purbeck. Glorious that is if you can see it. By now there was very limited visibility and of the prettiest parts of the country poor Bethberry saw naught but a sea fret.

Being a considerate host I chucked my guest out of the car to photograph the ruins of Corfe castle whereupon it rained as if someone had chucked a bucket of water over her. Then a steam train emerged from the mist compounding the feeiling we had slipped back in time. Heading inland the weather improved and I couldn't resist taking the slow road north to introduce Bethberry to an old acquaintance. I told her he wouldn't say much but he would be very pleased to see her. The jest became clear when I followed the signs for the Cerne Giant - one of the chalk carvings in the area of a smiling man with a great big.... club.

We pressed on to Sherborne where I let Bethberry visit the Abbey alone being weary from hours at the wheel - and having spent many Sunday mornings there hushing my young charges in my incarnation as a boarding school matron, I didn't feel such a need to return. A bonus was seeing one of the post boxes painted gold in honour of a local Olympic champion - in this case the trap shooter Peter Wilson.

The next stage of the journey was the stressful bit.. the rolling English road was getting tiring and tiresome and I had a mini-meltdown caught up on the outskirts of Bristol (I have a history of getting horrifically lost there and arriving at best friends wedding in time for the signing of the register so the paranoia may have kicked in). Fortunately Bethberry was very calming and we arrived at the historic inn where we had booked rooms late but in one piece. I had chosen it mainly because the location was handy for the dead rellies but also because the Queen had stayed there when stranded by a blizzard. It was a fortuitous choice because they served good food til late and had extremely comfortable beds and served a truly epic breakfast.

No Nazgul disrupted our departure (though we hadn't met a ranger at supper either) and we went first to Bethberry's ancestral home. I thought she would just take a picture from the drive but by the time I had parked she seemed to have disappeared. Then there was such a hound music that I assumed the owners had set the dogs on her and discretion being the better part of valour I left her to it. As time wore on and I realised that I might have to explain to her family how I lost her, I grew more concerned but fortunately my guest reappeared having used her charm to wangle a guided tour. We then went to the church which was sadly but all too commonly in this godless age closed due to Vandals (not as it happens Bethberry and me) and Bethberry set off to look for graves. I parked my idle carcass on the nearest box tomb and basking in the sunshine noticed that the faded carven name was very familiar..... Photos taken we went on to the village where a few generations of my family had lived in the middle of the last century. No graves located here but I saw where they had had their shop and happily the church was open so I could be where they had been hatched, matched and dispatched. Best of all was the bench sited to best observe a view surely unchanged since their day and which represented to us much of the Shire that Frodo strived to save... little fields and hedges and hills...

Could have stayed all day but time was not our friend and we took a more sober road to Avebury by which time my feeble knee and possibly feebler appetite for history flagged and I appreciated much of it's attractions while drinking tea. It is a fascinating place which claims as so many do to have inspired Tolkien but certainly Silbury Hill could have had Edoras set on it.

We now headed south and in Salisbury Bethberry managed to catch the tail end of another evensong while I caught the Archers in the car ..sorry I was cultured out . The next day was sadly so wet that the hoped for trip to the Isle of Wight would have been masochistic but my guest took me for a meal at my favourite restaurant and eventually we got a wonderful view of it. We made a shopping foray before the day ended in Poison Ivy's summerhouse which she had turned into a LOTR shrine with Aragorn standing guard and provisioned with Elvish snacks. We played the LOTR trivial pursuit which was based on the film and proved a challenge to Bethberry and me who have only seen the films other than the fellowship once. I started a variant whereby I would try to guess beforehand and believe me no invention was more ludicrous than some of the reality. Anyway we contrived a Bethberry win as courtesy to our visitor and so ended the mini moot of the Southfarthing since the others were booked on an train straight after breakfast. And that is far more than anyone probably wanted to know. Ah well..