Paper Telephone.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Lommy! I sent you my picture the other day, did you get it?

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

Lommy! I sent you my picture the other day, did you get it?

She probably did, given how she was just talking about sending it to Kath...

[Thinlómien]

Yep, sorry Hooksie for not confirming it rightaway! Also, folks, let's remember to keep our sentences short (there's been a couple when I thought less would've been more, but this far I haven't made anyone write a new sentence... )

[Thinlómien]

So, as it happened, your beloved Lommoddess found herself yearning for the sea - as Elves are wont to do - and ended up drawing this:



Poor Hookbill was very shocked...

It's a geological nightmare! Maglor sings on the coast while Maedhros explores the earth's molten crust. How will our heroes get out of this? Perhaps this carefully labelled diagram of the mantle will help...

...but was eventually calmed down by Kath's magnificent artistic skills:



Meanwhile, under the sea, an octopus named Nogrod came to the conclusion that

The downfall of Númenor was caused just by geological forces and had nothing to do with the flawed human nature. It was a dream that would leave its mark on Isildur.

...which didn't make any sense to Sally until she visualized it, like this:

[Thinlómien]

Legate didn't get any visionary visions out of the visualization, but rather an observation:

For once, the Arda Weather Forecast Service was perfectly correct in its predictions.

Unfortunately, he wasn't observant enough to notice Galadriel55 and her pack had torn him into shreds overNight - wait, wrong game, oops. Anyhow, here's the pattern the blood form Gal's claws formed on... a piece of paper?



The paper turned out to be invaluable evidence for solving the murder. Detective Pitchwife described it as follows:

The hobbits were sceptical whether Bombadil's plan to privatize the Shire's weather would really lead to a brighter future.

Lieutenant Greenie was not impressed. The description resulted in this angry doodle:



Fortunately for us, the lieutenant left her doodle on her desk, where the always smiling cleaner, Mr Eönwë, found it. Thoroughly impressed, he wrote in his diary that night:

Uncertain market forces seem posed to threaten Hobbiton in a big way.

Later that night, his house was burgled and his diary was taken. Just to mock him, Rune the burglar drew this next to the last diary entry:

[Thinlómien]

Unfortunately for the burglar, his roommate found the diary. Her name was Aganzir and she found the picture hilarious. She laughed so much she couldn't talk, so instead she typed this on her phone:

Sauron buries himself in good Shire soil to keep safe from his disillusioned subordinates.

The message was accidentally sent to no one else but a mighty orc warlord named Oddwen. She was so inspired that she designed this new emblem for her minions:



The rivaling warlord, Firefoot, found this a ridiculous idea. After a few flasks of Orc draught, she described her enemy's new insignia as a silly mess that looks as if

Sauron was dismayed to find that covering Mordor in soybean fields both heartened any Hobbits passing through and caused his Orcs an existential crisis.

As you might guess, this mockery had a mixed reception. In fact, even a cartoon was made, by no one else but the famous goblin cartoonist Hookbill the Gobla:



Thankfully the world is full of witty reporters. The Elvish press - with journalists like Kath - quickly described the spit between the orc factions as

Sauron, taking a break from tormenting Saruman in Orthanc, is trying to explain to Bilbo (who had come to buy some totally unsuspicious soy beans) how irritating it is when German sunbathers lay their towels down on your vegetables, while aliens find themselves on his soy only menu.

The Dwarvish press was content to just publish this paparazzi picture - taken by Nogrod Ninjabeard - to show the quality of Elvish journalists:

[Thinlómien]

It is a little known fact that the aforementioned cartoon was the inspiration for the classic Bildungsroman by Sally. The first sentence reads as follows:

Bilbo has reservations about the Sandwitch King's vegetarian options.

Also, did you know there is a rare illustrated edition of the novel? The reason why the novel is so rare is because the illustrations were... ahem... banned in most of the (un)civilized world. See Legate's artwork and you'll know why:



If you still don't know why, let this statement by Galadriel55, the spokesperson for the International Court of Censoring Everything, enlighten you:

None of the desert Nazgul notice that Bilbo uses the Ring to steal food from their personal oasis.

And now - do you know what's the problem of censorship? It breeds opposition, even revolution. One day the famous street artist Pitchwife had covered the walls of the headquarters of the ICCE with this:



The revolution spread like wildfire, until someone (later simply known as "Greenie") scribbled this on the wall in the bottom left corner of the painting that had sparked it all:

The Nazgûl did not realise that focusing on work ruins a vacation.

Even later, there were numerous paintings depicting the unsuccesful revolution. This piece by Eönwë is the one I'd hang on my wall - if it wasn't in the Guggenheim already...