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11-01-2006, 09:32 PM | #11801 |
Child of the West
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn
Posts: 2,132
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(It's a bit early, but...)
Pippin: I'm sorry Merry, they're sold out of Nintendo Wii. Merry: No!
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"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain |
11-01-2006, 09:35 PM | #11802 |
Reflection of Darkness
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Polishing the stars. Well, somebody has to do it; they're looking a little bit dull.
Posts: 2,983
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Merry: When I first spotted my foe, I thought I could defeat it. But...it approached so quickly. What sort of evil could cause a creature to move with such great speed? And then...before I knew it...that thing...it..it crawled up my leg! *wails*
Pippin: For goodness sake, Merry, it was only a spider! Merry: Yeah...a big and hairy one... *whimpers*
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Nolite te bastardes carborundorum |
11-01-2006, 10:37 PM | #11803 |
Regal Dwarven Shade
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: A Remote Dwarven Hold
Posts: 3,589
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Under the guise of helping a fallen comrade, Pippin stabs Merry to death.
Now he gets to ride in Eowyn's lap!
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...finding a path that cannot be found, walking a road that cannot be seen, climbing a ladder that was never placed, or reading a paragraph that has no... |
11-02-2006, 06:23 AM | #11804 | |
Shade of Carn Dűm
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Chozo Ruins.
Posts: 421
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Pippin: Breath and push! Breath and Push!
Merry: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !
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Quote:
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11-02-2006, 06:22 PM | #11805 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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From the documentaries...
Pippin: "Uh-oh we're going to need the medics, he's got another tiny splinter!" |
11-02-2006, 06:46 PM | #11806 |
Mellifluous Maia
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: A glade open to the stars, deep in Nan Elmoth
Posts: 3,489
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Merry: Hahahaha...can't....hahahaa...breathe.....hoohooha hahaha!
Pippen: I don't know - the MP jokes kinda get old after a while... Merry: Gasp...choke...hahahaha...no....heehee...they don't! EDIT: Isn't that Eowyn? Last edited by Rikae; 11-02-2006 at 07:23 PM. |
11-02-2006, 07:04 PM | #11807 |
Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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Due to an awkward hug in which neither participant knew which side of the other's head to hug on... Merry and Pippin accidentally kissed.
Pippin: "Uhh...." *lapses into shock* Merry: "AAAAHHHHH!"
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
11-02-2006, 07:12 PM | #11808 |
Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,994
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New technology's learning curve
Once outfitted in splendid new armour, Merry and Pippin were forever stabbing themselves whenever they sneezed and needed to use a kleenex.
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I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
11-02-2006, 09:21 PM | #11809 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Merry: "Wahhh! I left my pipeweed in Minas Tirith!"
Pippin: "It's the end of the world!"
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
11-02-2006, 09:53 PM | #11810 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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MEW!!! (Middle-Earth Wrestling)
Merry discovers Pippin's dominant headlock move...
Ref: "1...2..." |
11-02-2006, 10:13 PM | #11811 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,646
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Merry: AHHHHH!!! I'm dying Pip. Everything is going black...all my life is flashing before my eyes...there are so many things I still wanted to do but alas for Merry...I am going going gone....
Pippin: Merry, it's only a splinter.
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
11-02-2006, 10:26 PM | #11812 |
Shade of Carn Dűm
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Where the Wargs thrive, a.k.a. Madison, WI
Posts: 437
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Pippin: Help, Gandalf! Merry's started to go into a severe case of pipeweed withdrawl!
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"Outside of a Warg, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a Warg, it's too dark to read." - Wargo Marx |
11-03-2006, 02:11 AM | #11813 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Pippin: Mery, stop screaming! People are looking! You're embarrassing me!
OR Merry and Pippin can no longer stand The Witch King's three hour rendition of 'Wheels on the Bus' with all the singing and dancing.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
11-03-2006, 07:41 AM | #11814 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2003
Location: The Party Tree
Posts: 1,042
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Merry:WAAAH! What do you mean I'll be LOST?
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Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII |
11-04-2006, 10:23 PM | #11815 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Merry: "Waahh! I don't like PJ's version of The Return of the King!"
Pippin: "Well, what about the Rankin-Bass cartoon?" Merry: "Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!" Orc: "Ha, ha ha! Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony! He put a feather in his cap and called it macaroni! Heee, hee, hee!" Samwise: "I'll turn you into macaroni, you Tasmanian Devil Viking wanna-be!"
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
11-04-2006, 10:31 PM | #11816 |
Regal Dwarven Shade
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: A Remote Dwarven Hold
Posts: 3,589
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Sam's part time job as a pizza delivery boy goes dangerously wrong after he forgets the pepperoni.
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...finding a path that cannot be found, walking a road that cannot be seen, climbing a ladder that was never placed, or reading a paragraph that has no... |
11-05-2006, 02:51 AM | #11817 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Budget cuts in Mordor meant that the orc's swords had to be made of cheese.
OR Sam: Now look here... ... Mss? Orc:
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
11-05-2006, 10:35 AM | #11818 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Orc: Now, see here. The rules are quite simple, all I need before I clobber you to death is that you bend your helmet into place, so I can make a decorative notch in my sword with your head. Any questions?
Sam: Ah... Wouldn't that just ruin your sword even more? Orc: *Pfft* It's a dictated tradition, like welfare ever mattered with that aspect... ~ Ka
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Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikađ líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni? |
11-05-2006, 10:41 AM | #11819 |
Laconic Loreman
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Orc: ::::buuuuurrrpppppp::::
Sam: Was that really necessary?
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Fenris Penguin
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11-05-2006, 02:14 PM | #11820 |
Mellifluous Maia
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: A glade open to the stars, deep in Nan Elmoth
Posts: 3,489
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Hello Kitty Orc: How do you like my costume?
Sam: There's a loose thread...hold still, I'll cut it. HKO: Oh, no, that's alright... I'll manage, thank you...get away from me with that thing, you could hurt somebody! |
11-05-2006, 02:34 PM | #11821 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Off screen, Sauron's eye deflates.
Orc: Erm... I won't tell if you don't. OR Sam: If you raise your bottom lip high enough, could you poke yourself in the eye? Orc: I don't know. Let's find out!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
11-05-2006, 03:08 PM | #11822 |
Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,994
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They came prepared to fight, but it was love at first sight.
OR Neither Sam nor the orc was sure which one should lead as they practiced the cha cha on the stairs. OR Sam: "See! I told you. Every time you make a false boast your teeth grow."
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I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
11-05-2006, 03:29 PM | #11823 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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The Bridgekeeper...
Orc: "What....is your favorite color?"
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11-05-2006, 03:41 PM | #11824 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Asterix and Obelix somehow find themselves in Middle-earth.
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Gordon's alive!
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11-05-2006, 07:01 PM | #11825 |
Laconic Loreman
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Sam: "Grandma?!?! What big teeth you have!"
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Fenris Penguin
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11-06-2006, 04:48 AM | #11826 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Muddy-earth
Posts: 1,297
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Sam: Is the toilet vacant?
Orc: Yep, but I wouldn't go in there just yet.
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[B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. |
11-06-2006, 12:12 PM | #11827 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Where the Moon cries against the snow
Posts: 526
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Another dirty job for Samwise
Sam: Here, kitty kitty kitty. This won't hurt a bit.
Very fat cat: Oh no! I don't think so, I've seen what you've done to my brothers! Sam: Now come on, just a little pinch and it'll be all over. Very fat cat: No way! *holds sword towards Sam* You ain't fixing this kitty!!
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"...for the sin of the idolater is not that he worships stone, but that he worships one stone over others. -8:9:4 The Witness of Fane" |
11-06-2006, 12:18 PM | #11828 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: In hospitals, call rooms and (rarely) my apartment.
Posts: 1,538
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Quote:
Orc: "What... is the airspeed of a flying nazghul?" Sam: "With or without the One Ring?"
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I prepared Explosive Runes this morning. |
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11-07-2006, 02:27 AM | #11829 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Sam: "Xena, you're too long in the tooth for that outfit now."
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Gordon's alive!
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11-07-2006, 10:40 AM | #11830 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
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Orc: This had better not be about vacuum cleaners.
OR Sam: Okay I wasn't going to ask, but now it's just bothering me... why are you wearing rolls of film for breast plates? You can't seriously have THAT many problems with PJ's version!
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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11-07-2006, 03:23 PM | #11831 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Sam couldn't help noticing that some of the Orc's blade had been bitten off. He wondered, at that moment, if maybe a pencil would be a better option for a bored Orc to gnaw on.
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MONEY Anyone who says it doesn't buy happiness.....is probably broke. |
11-07-2006, 03:30 PM | #11832 | |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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stealing from Valesse...
Quote:
Sam: "This better not be going where I think it's going." |
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11-08-2006, 01:27 PM | #11833 |
Denethor's True Love
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... *swoon*
Posts: 2,049
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Sauron's rabid hamster was a far more effective deterrant than an Orc army. Unfortunately, Sam was rather fond of animals.
Sam: Here, Mr Tibbles.... Mr Tibbles: *cruuuunch*
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard. |
11-08-2006, 03:56 PM | #11834 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 3,448
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Orc: Sorry bit a toll is a toll and a roll is a roll we don't get no tolls we dnt eat no rolls. Wrote that myself.
Sam: fascinating... "Robin hood men in tights"
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Morsul the Resurrected |
11-08-2006, 05:00 PM | #11835 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Sam hesitates for a moment as he realizes that what he mistook for an Orc with fangs from a distance was actually an Orc crying rivers into his mouth...
Orc: "Hey, Number One - I'm a little emotional. And Number Two...I just like the salty taste." Last edited by The Only Real Estel; 11-08-2006 at 10:53 PM. |
11-08-2006, 06:22 PM | #11836 |
Deadnight Chanter
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Orc: Good morning, sir
Sam: Good morning, sir Orc: There is no room enough for two to pass, let me step aside for you, sir! Sam: Oh, no sir, you pass first, give me a pleasure! Orc: Ah, sir, but how can I, please you pass! Sam: I'm indeed honoured, sir, but let me make way for you! Orc: No sir, please, you've been walking all that way up and must be tired, and for me it have been easy walk down the stairs, please you pass! Sam: I see you are indeed a perfect gentleman, but sir, please go first as I see you are carrying some weighty load! Orc: Oh, it's not heavy at all, kind sir, and besides, it's a short walk for me, and I see you've been travelling from afar, do be kind to proceed first... After forty minutes of left-to-right a-dancing and bowing and polite muttering things finally begin to develop: Orc: Arrgh, you crazy woolly-footed animal, why couldn't you just go along! I'll kill you! Sam: Oh yeah? I've asked you to move on hundred times as if it was one, are you dumb or deaf, you oversized horned nutter?!
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Egroeg Ihkhsal - Would you believe in the love at first sight? - Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time! |
11-09-2006, 05:55 AM | #11837 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Muddy-earth
Posts: 1,297
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Troll-Guard of Jabbawooki the Hot: You can't pass until you give me the password.
Halfthing Jedi-knight: You love me and you will let me pass, LET ME PASS........ Troll-Guard: Your Jedi mind tricks won't work on me Luke Warmwater. Luke Warmwater: Ok I.ve been sent to tell you that your overweight mother's spare tyre is flat and she needs you. Troll-Guard: My mother doesn't own a motor vehicle. Luke Warmwater: Who said anything about a vehicle, she's been run over by a steamroller. Troll-Guard running into the distance: Muuuuummmmy.
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[B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. |
11-09-2006, 06:14 AM | #11838 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2003
Location: The Party Tree
Posts: 1,042
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Orc: Yes, I know, this is Rankin-Bass's idea of mixing goblinmen and hobbits.
Sam: Eeww. |
11-12-2006, 11:11 PM | #11839 |
Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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Sam: "I call my +37 Blade of Orc's Bane."
Orc: "I summon my +19 Broadsword of Hobbit's Doom, which cancels all effects of the Orc's Bane Blade!" Sam: "Well, then.... I summon my +33 Army of Elven Warriors!" Orc: "Pshh! I summon my +5 Giant Hand Specifically Created to Poke Elrond in the Gut! Your army will be thrown into chaos!" Sam: "Giant Hand?! Are you using a legally registered arsenal?"
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
11-13-2006, 02:27 AM | #11840 |
Reflection of Darkness
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Polishing the stars. Well, somebody has to do it; they're looking a little bit dull.
Posts: 2,983
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Elrond was furious at the fact that someone had stolen his helmet...
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Nolite te bastardes carborundorum |
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