DoV/RotS: the outline and editing discussions

[Michael Martinez]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 17</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: DoV sections 1-2 {4 0f 8}

Interesting.

http://www.xenite.org/Xenite.Org: Science Fiction and Fantasy</a>
http://www.xenite.org/faqs/lotr_movie/Lord of the Rings Movie news</a>
http://www.xenite.org/xor/home.shtml1500+ Hercules/Xena Links</a>
http://www.xenite.org/books/visualiz...dle-earth.htmlVisualizing Middle-earth, a book on Tolkien</a>
http://www.xenite.org/special_events/vicky_shaffer.htmlVicky Shaffer: Monster or mother? Is Brianna in any danger?</a>
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[Maédhros]

Lindil, I was wondering if you had a copy of the work that was done regarding the Darkening of Valinor so that we could see it. If I'm following rigthly this thread, you divided this chapter in several parts and each one of you did a revision in them.
How you by any chance a working text that you could post in the private forum or send by mail that would be great. I would like to comment on your work.

[Findegil]

This is a draft of an expanded version of the Story of the long chapter The darkening of Valionr and its subchapters. Our basis text is: History of Middle-earth; volume 10: Morgoth’s Ring, part 3: The Later Quenta Silmarillion; division II: The Second Phase; (LQ2n). All additions from other sources are marked.

For an easier reference the text is divided into the given sub-chapters.

We have 7 groups of changes:

DoV-zz: General changes given and discussed in the list below. These changes are taken up in the text, but they are not indicated by "editorial markers"

DoV-FM-zz: Changes that occur in the sub-chapter of Of Finwe and Miriel.

DoV-UM-zz: Changes that occur in the sub-chapter of Of the Feanor and the Unchaning of Melkor.

DoV-UN-zz: Changes that occur in the sub-chapter of Of the Silmaril and the Unrest of the Noldor.

DoV-DV-zz: Changes that occur in the sub-chapter of Of the Darkening of Valionr.

DoV-RS-zz: Changes that occur in the sub-chapter of Of the Rape of the Silmaril.

DoV-TQ-zz: Changes that occur in the sub-chapter of Of the Thieves’ Quarrel.

Some conventions of my writing:
Normal Text is from the basic text that is mentioned above (when I change the basic-Text it will be mentioned)
Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks
{example} = text that should be deleted
[example] = normalised text, normally only used for general changes
<source example> = additions with source information
example = text inserted for grammatical or metrical reason
/example/ = outline expansion
Normally if an inserted text includes the beginning of a new § these is indicated by a missing “>” at the end of the § and a missing “<” at the beginning of the next.

General changes:
DoV-01 Gnome/Gnomes/Gnomish to Elf/Elves/Elvish or Noldo/Noldor/Noldorin. "Gnomes" was dropped by Tolkien in LR and later writings, often replaced by Noldor. It would be better artistically to retain the original variation Gnome/Gnomes and Noldo/Noldoli which can be best done by replacing Gnome/Gnomes by Elf/Elves except where a general reference to Elves would not fit, as in "the Gnomes were exiles at heart, haunted with a desire for their ancient home that faded not." Then use Noldor. Exiles would be the exact replacement in sense.

DoV-02 Tun to Túna per Sil77

DoV-03 Côr or Kôr to Tirion per Sil77

DoV-04 Gods to Valar per Tolkiens later general avoiding Gods for the Valar

DoV-05 Teleri from BoLT to Vanyar

DoV-06 Maidros and Maedhros to Maeðros per HoME X

DoV-07 Inwe to Ingwë

DoV-08Nornore to Eonwë

So fare the general and regular changes.
Now to the changes needed in the text:

6 Of the Darkening of Valinor: Finwë and Míriel
§1 Now the three kindreds of the Eldar were gathered …
…
§3 Míriel was the name of his mother. Her hair was … in the fields of Yavanna. Therefore she was called Serindë.[Footnote: Míriel Serindë: that is DoV-FM-01 {Byrde Míriel (}Míriel the Broideress{): quoth Ælfwine}.]
§4 The love of Finwë and Míriel was great and full of joy, for it began in the Blessed Realm and in days of mirth. But in the bearing of her son she was consumed in spirit and body, so that almost all strength seemed to have passed from her; and when she had named him DoV-FM-02 <FM2 [Footnote: According to the custom of the Eldar. In addition to their 'true names', which were their father-name and their chosen name, they often received other or 'added names'. Of these the most important were the mother-names. Mothers often gave to their children special names of their own choosing, the most notable of which were 'names of insight'. In the hour of birth, or on some other occasion of moment, a mother might give to her child a name that referred to dominant features of its nature as she perceived it, or that came of foresight and referred to its special fate. Names of this kind might become more widely used than the father-name (which was often only the name of the father repeated or modified); and if the child adopted a mother-name as a 'chosen name', then it became also a 'true name'. Curufinwë took Fëanáro as his chosen name. Fëanor is the form that this name took in the later speech of the Exiled Noldor.]> she said to Finwë: 'Never again shall I bear a child, for strength that would have nourished the life of many has gone forth into Fëanor.'
§5 Finwë was greatly grieved, …
…
§21 But the spirit of Míriel remained silent. Mandos therefore accepted her choice, and she went then to the Halls of Waiting appointed to the Eldar and was left in peace.[Footnote: But it is said that after a time DoV-FM-03 <FM2; follwing Note 3 {But after a while Nienna came to Manwë, and she said: 'Lord of Aman, it is now made clear that the death of Míriel was an evil of Arda Marred, for with the coming hither of the Eldar the Shadow hath found an entrance even into Aman. Nonetheless Aman remaineth the Realm of the Valar, wherein thy will is paramount. Though the death of severance may find out the Eldar in thy realm, yet one thing cometh not to it, and shall not: and that is deforming and decay. Behold then! The body of Míriel lieth unmarred, even as a fair house that awaiteth its mistress, who hath gone upon a journey. In this at least, therefore, her death differeth from death in Middle-earth: that for the houseless fea a fair body is still ready, and rebirth is not the only gate by which it may return to life, if thou wilt grant her leave and give her thy blessing. Moreover the body has lain long now in repose in the peace of Lóriën; and must not the rulers of Arda have respect even to bodies and all fair forms? Why should it lie idle and untenanted, when doubtless it would not now afflict the fëa with weariness, but rejoice it with hope of doing?'
But this Mandos forbade. 'Nay,' said he, 'if Míriel were rehoused, she would be again among the Living, and Finwë would have two spouses alive in Aman. Thus would the Statute be contravened, and my Doom set at naught. And injury would be done also to Indis, who used the liberty of the Statute, but would now by its breach be deprived, for Finwë would desire to return to his former spouse.'
But Nienna said to Mandos: 'Nay! Let Míriel have the joy of her body and of the use of its skills in which she delighted, and dwell not for ever remembering only her brief life before, and its ending in weariness! Can she not be removed from the Halls of Waiting, and taken into the service of Vairë? If she cometh never thence, nor seeketh to walk among the Living, why shouldst thou hold the Doom set at naught, or fear for griefs that might arise? Pity must have a part in Justice.'
But Mandos was unmoved. And the body of Míriel lay at rest in Lóriën, until} the escape of Melkor the Marrer and the Darkening of Valinor{. In that evil time} Finwë was slain{ by the Marrer himself, and his body was burned as by lightning stroke and was destroyed}. Then Míriel and Finwë met again in Mandos, and{ lo!} Míriel was glad of the meeting, and her sadness was lightened; and the will in which she had been set was released.
And when she learned of Finwë all that had befallen since her departure (for she had given no heed to it, nor asked tidings, until then) she was greatly moved; and she said to Finwë in her thought: 'I erred in leaving thee and our son, or at the least in not soon returning after brief repose; for had I done so he might have grown wiser. But the children of Indis shall redress his errors and therefore I am glad that they should have being, and Indis hath my love. How should I bear grudge against one who received what I rejected and cherished what I abandoned. Would that I might set all the Tale of our people and of thee and thy children in a tapestry of many colours, as a memorial brighter than memory! For though I am cut off now from the world, and I accept that Doom as just, I would still watch and record all that befalls those dear to me, and their offspring also. {[Added:} I feel again the call of my body and its skills.{]}'
And Finwë said to Vairë: 'Dost thou hear the prayer and desire of Míriel? Why will Mandos refuse this redress of her griefs, that her being may not be void and without avail? Behold! I instead will abide with Mandos for ever, and so make amends. For surely, if I remain unhoused, and forgo life in Arda, then his Doom will be inviolate.'
{'So thou may deem,' answered Vairë; 'yet Mandos is stern, and he will not readily permit a vow to be revoked. Also he will consider not only Míriel and thee, but Indis and thy children, whom thou seemest to forget, pitying now Míriel only.'
'Thou are unjust to me in thy thought,' said Finwë. 'It is unlawful to have two wives, but one may love two women, each differently, and without diminishing one love by another. Love of Indis did not drive out love of Míriel; so now pity for Míriel doth not lessen my heart's care for Indis. But Indis parted from me without death. I had not seen her for many years, and when the Marrer smote me I was alone. She hath dear children to comfort her, and her love, I deem, is now most for Ingoldo. His father she may miss; but not the father of Feanaro! But above all her heart now yearns for the halls of Ingwë and the peace of the Vanyar, far from the strife of the Noldor. Little comfort should I bring her, if I returned; and the lordship of the Noldor hath passed to my sons.'}
But when Mandos was approached he said to Finwë: 'It is well that thou desirest not to return, for this I should have forbidden, until the present griefs are long passed. But it is better still that thou hast made this offer, to deprive thyself, of thy free will, and out of pity for another. This is a counsel of healing, out of which good may grow.'
Therefore{ when Nienna came to him and renewed her prayer for Míriel,} he consented, accepting the abnegation of Finwë as her ransom. Then the fëa of Míriel was released and came before Manwë and received his blessing; and she went then to Lóriën and re-entered her body{, and awoke again, as one that cometh out of a deep sleep; and she arose and her body was refreshed. But after she had stood in the twilight of Lóriën a long while in thought, remembering her former life, and all the tidings that she had learned, her}. Her heart was still sad, and she had no desire to return to her own people. Therefore she went to the doors of the House of Vairë and prayed to be admitted; and this prayer was granted{, although in that House none of the Living dwelt nor have others ever entered it in the body. But Míriel was accepted by Vairë and became her chief handmaid; and all tidings of the Noldor down the years from their beginning were brought to her, and she wove them in webs historial, so fair and skilled that they seemed to live, imperishable, shining with a light of many hues fairer than are known in Middle-earth. This labour Finwë is at times permitted to look upon. And still she is at work, though her name has been changed. For now she is named Fíriel, which to the Eldar signifies 'She that died', and also 'She that sighed'. As fair as the webs of Fíriel is praise that is given seldom even to works of the Eldar.}> {she was permitted to return to the house of Vairë}, and there it was her part to record in web and broidery all the histories of the Kin of Finwë and the deeds of the Noldor.] Nonetheless Mandos declared that a space of twelve years should pass between the declaration of the will of the Dead and the pronouncement of the doom of disunion.
…
§23 It came to pass that after three years more Finwë took as second wife Indis the fair. She was in all ways unlike Míriel. She was not of the Noldor but of the Vanyar, being the DoV-FM-04 [daughter of the] sister of Ingwë; and she was golden-haired and tall and exceedingly swift of foot. She did not labour with her hands, …
…
§27 In one year from their meeting upon the Mountain Finwë, King of the Noldor, wedded Indis, DoV-FM-05 sister[-daughter] of Ingwë; and the Vanyar and Noldor for the most part rejoiced. In Indis was first proved true the saying: The loss of one may be the gain of another; but this saying also she found true: The house remembers the builder, though others may dwell in it after. For Finwë loved her dearly, and was glad again; and she bore him DoV-FM-06 {five}[four] children whom he loved;[Footnote: Findis, Fingolfin, DoV-FM-07 {Finvain}[Írien] {, [Finarphin >]}[ and] Finarfin{ and Faniel: three}[:two] daughters, and two sons (Fingolfin and Finarfin).] yet the shadow of Míriel did not depart from the house of Finwë, nor from his heart; and of all whom he loved Fëanor had ever the chief share of his thought.
…
7 Of the Darkening of Valinor: Of Fëanor and the unchaining of Melkor
§46c DoV-UM-01 <LQ And Fëanor grew swiftly as if a secret fire were kindled within him. and he was tall and fair of face and masterful, DoV-UM-02 <Sil77 his eyes piercingly bright and his hair raven-dark;> and he became of all the Noldor the most subtle of heart and of mind, and the most skilled of hand. He it was that in his youth, bettering the work of Rumil, made those letters which bear his name, and which ever since the Eldar have used; yet this was the least of his works. For he it was that first of the Noldor discovered how gems greater and brighter than those of the Earth might be made with skill. And the first gems that Fëanor devised were white and colourless, but being set under starlight they would blaze with blue and white fires brighter than Helluin. And other crystals he made, wherein things far away could be seen small but clear, as with the eyes of the Eagles of Manwë. Seldom were the hand and mind of Fëanor at rest.>
While still in early youth Fëanor wedded Nerdanel, …
…
Now even while Fëanor and the craftsmen of the Noldor wrought with delight, foreseeing no end to their labours, and while the sons of Indis grew to manhood, the Noontide of Valinor was drawing to its close. DoV-UM-03 <LQ For it came to pass that Melkor, as the Valar decreed, had dwelt for three ages in the duress of Mandos, alone. And when he had suffered that bondage, as the Valar had promised, he was brought again before them in conclave. He looked then upon the bliss and glory of the Valar, and malice was in his heart; he looked upon the fair Children of Ilúvatar that sat at the feet of the gods, and hatred filled him; he looked upon the wealth of bright gems and lusted for them; but he hid his thoughts and postponed his vengeance.>
§48 Before the gates of Valmar Melkor abased himself at the feet of Manwë and sued for pardon, promising that, if he might be made but the least of the free folk of Valinor, he would aid the Valar in all their deeds, and most of all in the healing of the many hurts that he had DoV-UM-04 {wrought and now would work no more}<LQ done to the world>. And Nienna aided his prayer, but Mandos was silent. Then Manwë granted him pardon; but the Valar would not yet suffer him to depart from their sight and vigilance. He was given, therefore, a humble dwelling within the gates of the city, and put on trial; and he was not permitted to go more than one league from Valmar, save by the leave of Manwë and with a guardian at his side. But fair-seeming were all the words and deeds of Melkor in that time, and both Valar and Eldar had much profit from his aid.> Therefore after a time Manwë gave him leave to go freely about the land. …
…
8 Of the Darkening of Valinor: Of the Silmarils and the Unrest of the Noldor
§49 Most fair of all was Melkor's countenance to the Eldar, …
…
§53d Then Fingolfin rose and said: 'I will release my brother.' But Fëanor spoke no word in answer; and when he had stood silent before the Valar for a while, he turned and left the council and departed from Valmar. At once he returned to Túna, and before the term of seven days that was set, he gathered his goods and his treasures and left the city and went far away. With him went his sons, and Finwë his father, who would not be parted from him, in fault or guiltless, and some others also of the Noldor. But Nerdanel would not go with him, and she asked leave to abide with Indis, whom she had ever esteemed, though this had been little to the liking of Fëanor. DoV-UN-01 <BoLT 1; VI A little stream, and its name was Híri, ran down from the hills, northward of the opening to the coast where {Kor}[Tirion] was built, and it wandered thence across the plain no one knew whither. Maybe it found the Outer Seas, for {north of the roots of Silpion}> {Northward}[northward] in Valinor, in the hills near to the halls of Mandos, <BoLT 1; VI it dived into the earth and there was a rugged place and a rock-ringed dale; and here the DoV-UN-02 {Noldoli}[Fëanorians] purposed to abide, or rather to await the passing of DoV-UN-03 {wrath from Manwe's heart}[the twelve years], for in no way as yet would they accept the thought of leaving {Kor}[Tirion] for ever.
Caves they made in the walls of that dale, and thither they bore their wealth of gems, of gold and silver and fair things; but their ancient homes in {Kor}[Tirion] were empty of their voices, filled only with their paintings and their books of lore>. Fëanor and his sons made a strong place and a treasury at Formenos, DoV-UN-04 as that dale was named, and they laid in hoard a multitude of gems, and weapons also: they did not put aside the swords that Fëanor had made. But Fingolfin now ruled the Noldor in Túna; and thus the very words of Melkor seemed to be fulfilled (though it was Fëanor who had by his own deeds brought this thing to pass); and the bitterness that Melkor had sown endured, even though his lies had been made manifest. Long afterward it lived still between Fëanor and the sons of Indis.
…
9 Of the Darkening of Valinor
§55 Now the Valar were sitting in council before the gates of Valmar, …
…
§58 Now it was a time of festival, as Melkor knew well. In Aman all tides and seasons were at the will of the Valar, and there was no winter of death; but even as it was the delight of the Valar to clothe themselves in the forms of the Children of Ilúvatar,[Footnote: As is told in the ‘Ainulindalë'.] so also they would eat and drink and gather the fruits of Yavanna, and share the bounty of the Earth which under Eru they had made.
Therefore Yavanna set times for the flowering and the ripening of all growing things in Valinor: upspringing, blooming, and seed-time. And after the coming of the First-born Children, the Eldar, at these times they made feasts, at which all the dwellers in Aman would assemble in mirth. The greatest of the feasts was at the first gathering of fruits, and this was held DoV-DV-01 [in Valimar and ]upon Taniquetil; for Manwë decreed that at this time all should join in the praise of Eru Ilúvatar, and the peoples of Valinor, Valar, Maiar, and Eldar, poured forth their joy in music and song.
§58a DoV-DV-02 {This day}[These days] had now come once more, and Manwë prepared a feast greater than any that had been held since the entry of the Eldar into Aman. For though the escape of Melkor portended toils and sorrows to come, and indeed none could tell what further hurts would be done to Arda, ere he could be subdued again, at this time Manwë desired to unite all his people once more in joy, healing all that was amiss, and strengthening them with the blessing of Eru to hold ever in heart the hope of Arda Unmarred. He bade all come who would, but the Noldor above all; for he hoped that there they would put aside the griefs that lay between their lords, and forget utterly the lies of their Enemy. Therefore he sent a messenger to Formenos, saying: 'Fëanor son of Finwë, come and do not deny my bidding! In my love thou remainest and wilt be honoured in my hall.'
DoV-DV-03 <BoLT 1; VI {Gods}[Valar] and Elves made ready to celebrate it most gloriously. Pomps there were and long processions of the Elves, dancing and singing, that wound from {Kor}[Tirion] to Valmar's gates. A road had been laid against this festival from the westward gate of {Kor}[Tirion] even to the turrets of the mighty arch which opened in the walls of Valmar northward towards the Trees. Of white marble it was and many a gentle stream flowing from the far mountains crossed its path. Here it would leap into slender bridges marvellously fenced with delicate balustrades that shone like pearls; scarcely did these clear the water, so that lilies of great beauty growing upon the bosom of the streams that fared but gently in the plain thrust their wide blossoms about its borders and iris marched along its flanks; for by cunning delving runnels of clearest water were made to flow from stream to stream bordering that whole long way with the cool noise of rippling water. At places mighty trees grew on either side, or at places the road would open to a glade and fountains spring by magic high into the air for the refreshment of all who sped that way.
Now came the {Teleri}[Vanyar] led by the white-robed people of DoV-DV-04 {the Inwir}[Ingwë], and the throbbing of their congregated harps beat the air most sweetly; and after them went the {Noldoli}[Noldor] DoV-DV-05 mingling once more with their own dear folk by Manwe's clemency, that his festival might be duly kept, but the music that their viols and instruments awoke was now more sweetly sad than ever before.{ And last came the people of the shores, and their piping blent with voices brought the sense of tides and murmurous waves and the wailing cry of the coast-loving birds thus inland deep upon the plain.}
Then was all that host marshalled before the gate of Valmar, and at the word and sign from {Inwe}[Ingwë] as one voice they burst in unison into the Song of Light. This had DoV-DV-06 {Lirillo}[Salmar] written and taught them, and it told of the longing of the Elvesfor light, of their dread journey through the dark world led by the desire of the Two Trees, and sang of their utmost joy beholding the faces of the {Gods}[Valar] and their renewed desire once more to enter Valmar and tread the Valar's blessed courts. Then did the gates of Valmar open and {Nornore}[Eonwë] bid them enter, and all that bright company passed through.
There Varda met them, standing amid the companies of the DoV-DV-07 {Manir and the Suruli}[Maiar], and all the {Gods}[Valar] made them welcome, and feasts there were in all the great halls thereafter.
Now their custom was on the third day to robe themselves all in white and blue and ascend to the heights of Taniquetil, and there would Manwe speak to them as he thought fit of the Music of the Ainur and the glory of Iluvatar, and of things to be and that had been.> DoV-DV-08 <BoLT 1;VI And on that day would {Kor}[Tirion] and Valmar be silent and still, but the roof of the world and the slope of Taniquetil shine with the gleaming raiment of the {Gods}[Valar] and Elves, and all the mountains echo with their speech - but afterward on the last day of merriment the {Gods}[Valar] would come to {Kor}[Tirion] and sit upon the slopes of its bright hill, gazing in love upon that slender town, and thereafter blessing it in the name of Ilúvatar would depart ere Silpion came to bloom; and so would end the days of DoV-DV-09 {Double Mirth}[mirth].
§58b DoV-DV-10 {There}[On the third day there] came the Vanyar, and there came the Noldor of Túna, and the Maiar were gathered together, and the Valar were arrayed in their beauty and majesty; and they sang before Manwë and Varda in the halls of Taniquetil, or played and danced upon the green slopes of the Mountain that looked west to the Trees. In that day the streets of Valmar were empty, and the stairs of Túna were silent, and all the land lay sleeping in peace. Only the Teleri beyond the mountains still sang upon the shores of the Sea; for they reeked little of seasons or times, and gave no thought to the cares of the King of Arda, or to the shadow that had fallen upon Valinor; for it had not touched them, as yet.
…
Of the Rape of the Silmaril
§1 When the Trees should have flowered for yet one more day, …
§2 For Yavanna spoke before the Valar, saying DoV-RS-01 {...}<AAm : 'The Light of the Trees hath gone hence, and liveth now only in the jewels of Fëanor. Foresighted was he. Lo! for those even who are mightiest there is some deed that they may accomplish once, and once only. The Light of the Trees I brought into being, and can do so never again within Ea. Yet had I but a little of that Light, I could recall life to the Trees, ere their roots die; and then our hurt should be healed, and the malice of Melkor be confounded.'
§3 And Manwë spoke, and said, ‘Hearest thou, Fëanor, the words of Yavanna? Wilt thou grant what she would ask?'
And there was a long silence, but Fëanor DoV-RS-02 {answered no word}<LQ2 made no answer>.
Then Tulkas cried: ‘Speak, O Noldo, yea or nay! But who shall deny Yavanna? And did not the light of the Silmarils come from her work in the beginning?'
But Aule the Maker said, Be not hasty! We ask a greater thing than thou knowest. Let him have peace yet a while.'>
§4 But Fëanor spoke then, and cried bitterly DoV-RS-03 {...}<AAm : 'Verily for the less even as for the greater there is some deed that he may accomplish but once only. And in that deed his heart shall rest. Mayhap I can unlock my jewels, but never again shall I make their like; and if they be broken, then broken will be my heart, and I shall DoV-RS-04 {die}<LQ2 be slain>: first of all the Children of Eru.'
§5 'Not the first,' quoth Mandos, …
…
10 Of the Thieves’ Quarrel
§13 Meanwhile, it is told, Morgoth escaping from the pursuit of the Valar came to the wastes of Araman. …
…
§19 Then Ungoliant quailed, and she turned to flight, belching black vapours to cover her; but the Balrogs pursued her with whips of flame into the Mountains of Shadow,[Footnote: Eryd Wethrin on the borders of Beleriand.] until Morgoth recalled them. Then her webs were shorn asunder, and Morgoth was released, and he returned to Angband.
§20 But Ungoliant went into Beleriand, and there dwelt for a time beneath the Eryd {Orgoroth [> }Gorgoroth{]}, in the dark valley that was after called Nan Dungortheb[Footnote: The Valley of Dreadful Death.] because of the horror that she bred there. But when she had healed her hurts as best she could, and had spawned there a foul brood, she passed away. For there were other evil creatures of spider-form that had dwelt there since the days of the delving of Angband; and she mated with them and devoured them. But whither she went after no tale tells. It is said that she ended long ago, when in her uttermost famine she devoured herself at last.
§21 Thus ended the Thieves' Quarrel; and the fear of Yavanna that the Silmarils would be swallowed up and fall into nothingness did not come to pass. But they remained in the power of Morgoth.
Now Morgoth, having achieved his malice against Valinor, and escaped from bondage, gathered again all his servants that he could find; and through all the North ran the news that he had returned. From near and far, from the ruins of Utumno, and from deep dales and shadows under the mountains and from all dark and hidden places they crept back to him.
Then swiftly they began to delve anew the vast vaults of Angband and to uplift its pillared halls of stone amid smoke and fire, and above them were reared the reeking towers of Thangorodrim. DoV-TQ-01 <AAm There countless became the hosts of his beasts and his demons; and thence there now came forth in hosts beyond count the fell race of the Orkor, that had grown and multiplied in the bowels of the earth like a plague. These creatures Morgoth bred in envy and mockery of the Eldar. In form they were like unto the Children of Ilúvatar, yet foul to look upon; for they were bred in hatred, and with hatred they were filled; and he loathed the things that he had wrought, and with loathing they served him. Their voices were as the clashing of stones, and they laughed not save only at torment and cruel deeds. The Glamhoth, host of tumult, the Noldor called them. (Orcs we may name them; for in days of old they were strong and fell as demons. Yet they were not of demon kind, but children of earth corrupted by Morgoth, and they could be slain or destroyed by the valiant with weapons of war. {[But indeed a darker tale some yet tell in Eressea, saying that the Orcs were verily in their beginning of the Quendi themselves, a kindred of the Avari unhappy whom Morgoth cozened, and then made captive, and so enslaved them, and so brought them utterly to ruin.[Footnote: Quoth Ælfwine.] For, saith Pengolod, Melkor could never since the Ainulindalë make of his own aught that had life or the semblance of life, and still less might he do so after his treachery in Valinor and the fullness of his own corruption.]}
§128 Dark now fell the shadow on Beleriand, as elsewhere is told; but in Angband Morgoth forged for himself a great crown of iron; and he called himself King of the World. In token of which he set the Silmarils in his crown. His evil hands were burned black by the touch of those hallowed jewels, and black they have been ever since; and he was never again free from the pain of the burning DoV-TQ-02 <QS , and the anger of the pain>. The crown he never took from his head, though its weight became a weariness unto torment; and never but once only, while his realm lasted, did he depart for a while secretly from his domain in the North. And once only also did he himself wield weapon, until the Last Battle. For now, more than in the days of Utumno ere his pride was humbled, his hatred devoured him, and in the domination of his servants and the inspiring of them with lust of evil, he spent his spirit. Nonetheless his majesty as one of the Valar long remained, though turned to terror, and before his face all save the mightiest sank into a dark pit of fear.>

Some comments:

DoV-FM-01: Ælfwine and his Old English is out, so we will give only the modernisation in the Footnote

DoV-FM-02: Following the note to LQ 2

DoV-FM-03: I have given her the appropriate passages from Laws in full to show how I developed the shorter footnote.

DoV-FM-04 to DoV-FM-07: Following the information from The Shibboleth of Feanor.

DoV-UM-01: In this part LQ 2 is given only in notes. Therefore the text is here reconstructed.

DoV-UM-02: In addition to the reconstruction I added “his eyes piercingly bright” from Sil 77 I do not know were this comes from so.

DoV-UM-03 & DoV-UM-04: Reconstruction again.

DoV-UN-01: When we add the description of the feast later, I think we should also use the description of Formenos here.

DoV-UN-02: Is “Fëanorians” a word useable? If not “Fëanor and his following” will work.

DoV-UN-03: I don’t see any wrath in Manwe in the later story.

DoV-UN-04: A link is needed here since otherwise the name could not be understood.

DoV-DV-01 & DoV-DV-02: Addition to harmonise the text with the add from BoLT.

DoV-DV-03: This addition from BoLT was wish from Lindil and I agree that it is worth considering.

DoV-DV-04: I do not know if later we had a replacement for the leading house of the Vanyar.

DoV-DV-05: Here I did not change anything, but I see a need for discussion. Is he phrase “mingling once more with their own dear folk by Manwe’s clemency, that his festival might be duly kept” useable? Lindil skip it.

DoV-DV-06: Lindil added here the redundant information that Salmar made the conches of Ulmo. But I don’t think that is necessary.

DoV-DV-07: Manir and Suruli most go, so I used the wider Maiar instead. Lindil skip that phrase completely.

DoV-DV-08: If the addition from BoLT is useable at all than this later part of the feast should be taken as well.

DoV-DV-09: “Double Mirth” is the name of the feast and is no longer valid so “days of mirth” must suffice.

DoV-DV-10: Harmonisation with the BoLT part again.

DoV-RS-01 to DoV-RS-04: Reconstruction of the text.

DoV-TQ-01: The LQ 2 breaks of before the end of the chapter is reached. Therefore I added the last part from AAm.

DoV-TQ-02: This is missing in [b[AAm[/b] so I took it out of the QS.


Respectfully
Findegil

[Maédhros]

Thanks Findegil, and yes I'm still around. I was wondering if you would be able to send to me this draft for me to look over. It is not easy to read it in the Private Forum. I think that I had already have some work in this part that I want to compare it, so that is why I have asked lindil a long time ago.

[Maédhros]

Here are some changes that I would like to introduce:
DoV-UM-02.5A

He it was that in his youth, bettering the work of Rumil, made those letters which bear his name, and which ever since the Eldar have used; yet this was the least of his works. For he it was that first of the Noldor discovered how gems greater and brighter than those of the Earth might be made with skill. And the first gems that Fëanor devised were white and colourless, but being set under starlight they would blaze with blue and white fires brighter than Helluin. And other crystals he made, wherein things far away could be seen small but clear, as with the eyes of the Eagles of Manwë. <VT39 He is said also, {being then in his youth before the days of his discontent,} to have learned mostly from Aulë “more than any other of the Eldar in Arda” of the language of the Valar. {This he got mostly from Aule}> Seldom were the hand and mind of Fëanor at rest.

I wonder if we should replace the Mahtan name with Sarmo as with note 61 of the Shibboleth. I think that because the name Sarmo comes with an ?, we should not change it.

DoV-UM-02.5B

Her father, Mahtan, <SF [who] was most widely known as Urundil 'copper-lover' >, was a great smith, and among those of the Noldor most dear to the heart of Aulë, <SF for he was an Aulendur and entered into {Aulë’s} [the Vala’s] service>. <SF He usually wore a band of copper about his head. His hair was not as dark or black as was that of most of the Ñoldor, but brown, and had glints of coppery-red in it. > Of Mahtan Nerdanel learned much of crafts that women of the Noldor seldom used: the making of things of metal and stone.

DoV-UM-02.5C

Seven sons she bore to Fëanor, and it is not recorded in the histories of old that any others of the Eldar had so many children. <SF Of {Nerdanel's}[their] seven children the oldest, and the twins (a very rare thing among the Eldar) had [brown] hair [with coppery-red in it] {of this kind}. The eldest also wore a copper circlet.> With her wisdom at first she restrained Fëanor when the fire of his heart burned too hot; but his later deeds grieved her and they became estranged.

DoV-UN-00

Most fair of all was Melkor's countenance to the Eldar, and he aided them in many works, if they would let him. The Vanyar indeed held him in suspicion, for they dwelt in the light of the Trees and were content; and to the Teleri he gave little heed, deeming them of little worth, tools too weak for his designs. But the Noldor took delight in the hidden knowledge that he could reveal to them{;}<OK {In Valinor} [for] Melkor used the Quenya with such mastery that all the Eldar were amazed, for his use could not be bettered, scarce equalled even, by the poets and the loremasters"{.}[,]> and some hearkened to words that it would have been better for them never to have heard.

This is from Osanwe-kenta.

DoV-DV-11

One thing only marred the hope of Manwë. Fëanor came indeed, for he read the message of Manwë as a command; but Finwë would not come and remained in Formenos, and with him were the sons of Fëanor. For said Finwë: 'While the ban lasts upon Fëanor, my son, that he may not go to Túna, I hold myself unkinged, and I will not meet my people <AA , nor those that rule in my stead> .' And Fëanor did not come in raiment of festival, and he wore no ornament, neither silver nor gold nor any gem; and he denied the sight of the Silmarils to the Valar and the Eldar, and left them in Formenos, locked in a chamber of iron.

DoV-FM-08

§28 The wedding of the father {was not pleasing to} <SF filled > Fëanor <SF with anger and resentment>; and though it did not lessen the love between them, Fëanor <SF felt that Míriel was condemned to remain for ever discarnate, so that he could never again visit her or speak with her, unless he himself should die. This grieved him, and he grudged the happiness of Finwë and Indis, and was unfriendly to their children, even before they were born.>{had no great love for Indis or her children.} As soon as he might he lived apart from them, exploring the land of Aman, or busying himself with the lore and the crafts in which he delighted.

I will reply to your changes Findegil, when I have the whole text.

[Findegil]

Gerneral remark:
I would like to re-name your references. In XX-YY-ZZA, XX-YY-ZZb and so on the "A" should refer to different version of the same change. But that is not the case in your suggestions. Therefor let make it:

DoV-UM-02.5A => DoV-UM-02.2
DoV-UM-02.5B => DoV-UM-02.5
DoV-UM-02.5C => DoV-UM-02.7
DoV-UN-00 => DoV-UM-00.5 (I do'nt like zero to much.)

Now to your suggestions;
DoV-UM-02.5A => DoV-UM-02.2: Agreed, but why do we delet a part of this?

DoV-UM-02.5B => DoV-UM-02.5: Agreed.

DoV-UM-02.5C => DoV-UM-02.7: Agreed.

DoV-UN-00 => DoV-UM-00.5: Agreed.

Mathan => Sarmo: I second this change but have to lock deper into the sources. I would like also to have Aiwendils input here.

Maedhros I tried to send you a complet set of all TftE text but it failed. See your mail about this.

Respectfully
Findegil

[Maédhros]

Maedhros I tried to send you a complet set of all TftE text but it failed. See your mail about this.

Thanks, I received it and it is great.

DoV-UM-02.5A => DoV-UM-02.2: Agreed, but why do we delet a part of this?

I deleted it because in the first part of the paragraph, there is a statement that he was in his youth, but if you and Aiwendil feel that it is ok to keep it, that's ok with me.

DoV-FM-00.5

§3 Míriel was the name of his mother. Her hair was like silver; and she was slender as a white flower in the grass. Soft and sweet was her voice, and she sang as she worked, like rippling water, in music without words. For her hands were more skilled to make things fine and delicate than any other hands even among the Noldor. By her the craft of needles was devised; and if but one fragment of the broideries of Míriel were seen in Middle-earth it would be held dearer than a king's realm; for the richness of her devices and the fire of their colours were as manifold and as bright as the wealth of leaf and flower and wing in the fields of Yavanna. Therefore she was called Serindë <SF a name which she had indeed already been given as a 'mother-name'. >.+
It was the only reference that we have of Míriel having a mother name.

Mathan => Sarmo: I second this change but have to lock deper into the sources. I would like also to have Aiwendils input here.

I will post here the whole note for ease of reference:
From Shibboleth of Fëanor:

[On a separate page written at the same time is a note on the father of Nerdanel (Fëanor's wife);
Nerdanel's father was an 'Aulendil' [> 'Aulendur'], and became a great smith. He loved copper, and set it above gold. His name was [space; pencilled later Sarmo?], but he was most widely known as Urundil 'copper-lover'. He usually wore a band of copper about his head. His hair was not as dark or black as was that of most of the Ñoldor, but brown, and had glints of coppery-red in it. Of Nerdanel's seven children the oldest, and the twins (a very rare thing among the Eldar) had hair of this kind. The eldest also wore a copper circlet.
A note is appended to Aulendur:
'Servant of Aule': sc. one who was devoted to that Vala. It was applied especially to those persons, or families, among the Ñoldor who actually entered Aule's service, and who in return received instruction from him.
A second note on this page comments on the name Urundil:
RUN 'red, glowing', most often applied to things like embers, hence adjective runya, Sindann ruin '"fiery" red'. The Eldar had words for some metals, because under Orome's instruction they had devised weapons against Morgoth's servants especially on the March, but the only ones that appear in all Eldarin languages were iron, copper, gold and silver (ANGA, URUN, MALAT, KYELEP).
Earlier Nerdanel's father, the great smith, had been named Mahtan (see X.272, 277), and he was so called in the published Silmarillion. For earlier statements concerning the arming of the Eldar on the Great Journey see X.276-7, 281.]

[Arvegil145]

What about the additions from "The Shibboleth of Fëanor" and the "Laws and Custom of the Eldar"?

Also, "The Converse of Manwë and Eru"? It would expand the sub-chapter "Of Finwë and Míriel" greatly.

P.S. In addition, in the "Shibboleth" it is said that Finwë sought the counsel of Manwë AFTER he and Indis had met and desired to get married.

[Findegil]

Laws and custom joined with The Converse of Manwë and Eru were in my 'plan' part of volume 3: THE LORE OF THE WISE.

As for farther additions from The Shibboleth of Fëanor: They are in part contradicting the Story line of The Later Silmarillion. Since I think (please cross check) that SF is the later source, we might have to change big parts of this chapter again.

Respectfully
Findegil

[Arvegil145]

"Shibboleth" is certainly later. From around 1968. Problem is (perhaps not that much of a problem, if we manage to find a convincing solution) that the "Shibboleth" has the greater 144 solar years = 1 Valian year. So if Fëanor was born in YT 1169 and Míriel died in YT 1170, by that greater number, Fëanor could have still grown to an adult by the time of Míriel's death.

Of course, one could argue that if are going to take the lower number (9.58 solar years = 1 Valian year), Fëanor COULD (theoretically) have grown to an "adult", so to speak - c. 20 of our years is the greatest figure for Fëanor's age at the time of Míriel's death. However, it is said that the Elves do not reach their full physical stature until the age of 50, and are not fully mature until 100 years of age. Again, Fëanor could be an exception to the rule - he is, after all, called the "Spirit of Fire" by his mother, and it doesn't seem so unlikely (at least to me) that he could have achieved his full stature (at least physically) by this time.

Then again, you could also argue that by "fully grown" he was fully grown MENTALLY.

OR you could just abandon the notion of Elven children maturing more slowly than mortal children (physically).

In any case, there are many possible "solutions", and I think that the information given in the "Shibboleth" contains some vital character motivations behind Fëanor's later actions - especially his mother's use of "th" as opposed to the later general change to "s" - after all, the essay IS called the "Shibboleth of Fëanor".

[Findegil]

The change in the calculations of times is a more general point. We should probably discuss that in a thread of it own. In our text we can avoid being specific with any numbers of years or other units.

Since DoV realy is the first chapter that the project worked on conclusivly, a re-check for other possible additions especially from younger sources (as SF) is for sure needed. But for the time being I think the group has opened enough indeepth discussions. The detailed discussion of the possible merger of texts including [b]SF[7b] has to wait.

Respectfully
Findegil

[ArcusCalion]

Ok, I have read throught the proposed changes by Findegil and Maedhros, and I have some comments.

Of Finwe and Miriel

I have only two comments for this section. Firstly, I at first wondered why the (far more substantial) Statute of Finwe and Miriel text was not used throughout to greatly expand this section, but I noticed that the very same text is referenced in the chapter itself. This made me think that these additions were not added bc the Statute is to be included along with Laws and Customs in VOLUME III: THE LORE OF THE WISE. If this is so, then I wholeheartedly agree. If, however, this is not to be included later, then I see no reason not to give the much fuller accounts here.

Secondly, In DoV-FM-03 I was confused as to the reason for the inclusion of this portion of the Statute. As there were no other inclusions, this seemed odd as the singular exception, and indeed turns the footnote into a full page of text. In addition, there was no direction by Tolkien to include this account here, so I am confused as to why it was done.

Of Feanor and the Unchaining of Melkor

in the paragraph of DoV-UM-03 there was a change to LQ that was left out of your version:

He looked then upon the bliss and glory of the Valar, and malice was in his heart; he looked upon the fair Children of Ilúvatar that sat at the feet of the {gods}[Mighty], and hatred filled him;

More was also changed here, and I added a phrase from AAm:

DoV-UM-04 {wrought and now would work no more. His prayer Niënna aided, but Mandos was silent.}<LQ done to the world. His prayer Niënna aided, but the others were silent. DoV-UM-04.2 < AAm and Ulmo’s heart misgave him.>>

Of the Silmarils and the Unrest of the Noldor

I made an addition from AAm:

Three jewels he made, and named them the Silmarils. {A living fire burned within them that} DoV-UM-04.3 < AAm But not until the End, when Fëanor shall return who perished when the Sun was young and sitteth now in the Halls of Awaiting and comes no more among his kin; not until Sun passeth and Moon falls shall it be known of what substance they were made. Like the crystal of diamonds it appeared and yet was more strong than adamant, so that no violence within the walls of this world could mar or break it. Yet that crystal was to the Silmarils but as is the body to the Children of Ilúvatar: the house of its inner fire, that is within it and yet in all parts of it, and is its life. And the inner fire of the Silmarils> was blended of the Light of the Two Trees.

Another addition:

Therefore, whenever he saw his chances, he began to sow a seed of falsehood and hints of evil among all who were open to his converse. But he did this with cunning, so that few who heard these lies ever took them from his own lips: DoV-UM-04.4 <AAm but he that sows lies in the end shall not lack of a harvest, and soon he may rest from toil indeed, while others reap and sow in his stead>[; and so] they passed from friend to friend,....

DoV-UN-02: I would change "Feanorians" to "People of Feanor"

Of the Darkening of Valinor

I just have a question. Is it Ungoliante or Ungoliant?

Also, in the LQ version, Ungoliant and Melkor split up, but in all others they remain together and kill the trees as a unit. is LQ the way to go?

Minor note:

§58 Now it was a time of festival, as Melkor knew well. In Aman all tides and seasons were at the will of the Valar, and there was no winter of death; but even as it was the delight of the Valar to clothe themselves in the forms of the Children of Ilúvatar, {[Footnote: As is told in the ‘Ainulindalë'.]} so also they would eat and drink and gather the fruits of Yavanna, and share the bounty of the Earth which under Eru they had made.

I would remove the footnote here, as I believe that was actually mentioned in the Of the Beginning of Time chapter in our version.

DoV-DV-03: at the end of this paragraph is the bit:

At places mighty trees grew on either side, or at places the road would open to a glade and fountains spring {by magic} high into the air for the refreshment of all who sped that way.

The italicized bit should be removed.

DoV-DV-05: This bit is odd, but it might be better to simply remove it. Feanor is the only one of the Noldor who would require the clemency of Manwe, and his presence is told later.

Of the Rape of the Silmarils

DoV-RS-04: The words "in Aman" should be added, as it is elsewhere said that the Elves had been killed in the hither lands, which is why Orome brought them weapons.

Of the Thieves' Quarrel

Looks good!

That was everything I saw, the rest looks good.