Middle Earth Commercials! - Page 2 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Brinniel · 10-06-2002, 12:00 AM

Announcer: Your friends are out saving lives, kicking orc @$$, and destroying the One Ring. They invited you to join them.
*Scenes of the fellowship fighting orcs or doing anything that appears interesting appear on TV screen.*
*Suddenly, the camera turns to Pippin, who is sitting in chair, looking bored as ever*
Announcer: But instead, you are sitting in Rivendell with nothing to do because, not only did Gandalf call you, "Fool of a Took," but you also smoked pipeweed. Smoke pipeweed, and you lose a wizard's trust. Stay Drug-Free.

Daisy Sandybanks · 10-06-2002, 01:09 AM

One gold Ring....

(Camera shot of gold Ring in a mutated hand)

Possesivness....

(Camera shot of Gollum sitting on a rock stroking a gold Ring)

And a split personality....

(Camera shot of Gollum stroking a gold Ring and wispering "Precious, yes, we likes it my precious")

Don't bother me, Im fondeling.

[Rip off of a Carl's Jr. commercial] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

mordor136 · 10-06-2002, 09:28 AM

the scene starts with frodo and sam walking up to the green dragon. a mean looking orc bouncer turns them away. the two hobbits rush to an abandoned hobbit hole and rope off th entrance.(gaffer is bouncer)All the hobbits are having a wild party and drinking hobbit ale. the orc wants in. the gaffer throws the orc really far. he then looks to
the camera and says "powerale, very real power."

ok that was lame and a mix of two commercials

[ October 06, 2002: Message edited by: mordor136 ]

Diamond18 · 10-06-2002, 12:51 PM

I love your pipe-weed one, Brinniel, tee hee. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

A commercial for the extended edition DVD:

Scene: A man is asleep in his bed. He opens his eyes and looks up, and sees Lurtz standing over his bed glowering at him.

Cut to a little girl sitting at the breakfast table, holding an empty cereal box over her bowl. She glances across the table and sees Pippin sitting there with his bowl overflowing, munching away.

Cut to another man sleeping in his bed. The Fellowship enters, Boromir blows his horn in the man's face and the others dump a bucketful of Caradhras snow on him.

Announcer: "It's just like having Middle-earth come to your home!

(Sorry if this isn't amusing, it's a spoof on a hilarious commercial for NFL football here in the states, but I've only seen it once...)

Fallen King of Angmar · 10-06-2002, 03:16 PM

Lembas... mmmmm mmmmm... so good so good

hobbitlass · 10-07-2002, 05:11 PM

*camera overhead shot*

An exhausted Frodo and Sam are sleeping against a rock of the Emyn Muil.

*camera pans to overhanging cliff*

Gollum is sneaking down the cliff towards the unsuspecting hobbits.

*camera closeup of Frodo's chest*

Gollum's nasty flappy hand is sliding under Frodo's cloak.

*camera zooms to Frodo's face*

Frodo's eyes fly open, he grabs Gollum's wrist..."Don't lay a finger on my Butterfinger!"

Demloth of Dol Amroth · 10-10-2002, 04:52 PM

New Special at Burger Lord! Get a medium Choke, medium Fries, and a Double Man-Flesh Burger for 1.99! Onion Rings of Power only 10 cents extra!

Persephine · 10-13-2002, 06:23 AM

Hello everyone. I'm new around here. Please be gentle. Here's a few!!!

*~*~*~*~*

KFC Commercial
The one ring...It's finger licking good!!!

*~*~*~*~*

Dunhill Commercial
Style, quality, the one ring...

*~*~*~*~*

Can't think any more...I'll write some more soon. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

gralin musicteeth · 10-13-2002, 07:43 PM

Not much for this bys... but i'll give it a shot

*Set the scene: Arwen on horse on one side of the river and Ringwraiths are approaching the other side*

voice: introducing Elrond's own antiperspirant, with a power stripe
Arwen: let's say those ringwraiths are odour, and this river is the power stripe in NEW Elrond's own anti-perspirant

*Wraiths approach, going all out. Suddenly river rises, and wipes them out*

*Legolas and other pretty elves appear*

Legolas: I never go anywhere without looking pretty and smelling good! *holds up a stick of Elrond's own*

Voice: now in Mirkwood musk and Lothlorien Fresh!

well there's my lame and imbosilic attempt at humour. i'm goin to bed.

The Daughter of Gollum and Shelob · 10-14-2002, 01:30 AM

"Get Frodo's Ring (plastic replica) for only $39.99!!! It's sooo amazingly cheap!! and it's a 75% off price!!" [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Orual · 11-20-2002, 10:55 PM

It's been a while since anybody posted on this thread, but Diamond referred to it...it's so funny! I'm going to try my hand at it.

~*~

[Frodo comes into Bag End. Bilbo is reading.]

Bilbo: Hullo, Frodo! How was your day?

[Frodo looks at the camera. Cut to scenes of Frodo being: chased by Nazgul, chased by Boromir, chased by orcs, chased by more Nazgul, chased by more orcs...
Frodo takes a bite of lembas. His eyes widen.]

Frodo: Fine. It was fine!

[Bilbo looks up as Frodo walks off, smiling.]

Announcer: Lembas. It might just be the lift you need.

~*~

Like that Pop-Tart spinoff commercial...blimey if I remember what the product was called...

~*~Orual~*~

Diamond18 · 11-21-2002, 12:47 AM

Oh, er, ach! I know the exact commercial that your referring to, but blimey if I know the product either.

BTW, very funny! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Here's another one:

Gimli: "Mithril is forever."
Frodo: "And Mithril is a Hobbit's best friend."
Announcer: "Give the gift that tells that special someone you really care. Give them Mithril this Yule season."

Oh well, I guess I need some Lembas or something cause that was...lacking. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Diamond18 · 11-25-2002, 05:23 PM

"Absoloutely my dear Frodo!—"
"—Positively my dear Sam!"

Oh, what? Do you mean to tell me that none of you have seen those commercials for Hermax?

Nimrothiel · 12-17-2002, 08:41 AM

LMAO! Don't blame me for this one, a friend of mine thought of it. For those of you who have seen the Thermasilk commercials, you'll probably like this one. See if you can picture this in your head:

Gandalf is in front of the Balrog, which snaps its whip around Gandalf's hair and beard. His hair is then made soft and silky by the extreme heat and the Thermasilk formula. He then tosses his head to show it off.

OR

Gimli in any Herbal Essences commercial.

don't blame me, these weren't my ideas! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

purplefluffychainsaw · 12-17-2002, 01:23 PM

Okay, sorry about this:
ARWEN [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]o you remember when we first met?
ARAGORN: You said you would bind yourself to me forver.
ARWEN: And...
ARAGORN: **Sighs** If I got a hair wash
ARWEN:And to that I hold **ARWEN hands ARAGORN bottel of Loriel shampoo**
ARAGORN: You can't give this to me
ARWEN: It is mine to give to whom I will
Screen flashes to close up of the bottle
ARWEN: **In backround** Loriel. Because I'm worth it too...
[img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Orual · 12-17-2002, 10:08 PM

OH! That was FUNNY! But change it to Lorien! LoL! But that really was funny....I loved the sigh! LoL!

~*~Orual~*~

Aragorn_The_King · 12-17-2002, 10:23 PM

OOOOooo These are good! Here is my try.

Sam at moria: Poor Bill, how can I let him go. Is there anything you want Bill?
Bill: *Gives cheesey grin rolling lips up* I want meow mix, I want weow mix, Ii Ii I want meow mix.

If you expect emediate ressults from your insurance company turn to progressive. Shows Frodo put on ring and dissapear. We may not be changing the world. Shows the ring flying to fire. But we are changing the way people buy car insurance. STUPID, I KNOW.

If you want someone who works for the people elect Sauroman. He wants peace unlike Sauron who has started two wars. Sauroman likes coller flare he is a genuine peacenick. Remember, vote green party.

Use the ring-- it will make you feel good when everyone is looking down on you. Sideaffects may include wraithnes, pursuent evil, death etc.

Aragorn_The_King · 12-18-2002, 12:43 PM

Sorry I'm sorta stealing an idea--
Gimli takes bight of lembas "Wheres the I can't believe it's not butter? I need that soft buttery taste!"

dragoneyes · 12-18-2002, 02:25 PM

This is a radio one, it's been on all the time, it's time I took the mickey.

*Nazgul are busy decorating a christmas tree, the witch-king walks in*

Witch-king: The tree's looking very nice, but that's not a star on the top!
Nazgul: No it's a replica of the gold ring that sauron lost all those years ago, he says it's there to remind santa what he wants for Christmas.
witch-king: Ahhh, yes.
announcer: Make your loved ones know what you want. The one ring, something someone you love would love for Christmas.

Orual · 12-23-2002, 07:02 PM

TWO TOWERS SPOILERS: DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

REALLY.

(Ithilien. Faramir walks into the room, draws his sword, etc. Gives his speech. Finally, it is the moment.)

Faramir: The Ring will go to Gondor.

(Freeze-frame Faramir's face. Cut to a man in a suit. Faramir's face is now on a screen behind him; he stands at a podium.)

Man: Poor judgement: another side-effect of hunger.

(Shots of lembas from various angles.)

Man: Lembas, the waybread of the Elves. Lembas: don't let hunger happen to you!

~*~

A la the Snickers commercials.

~*~Orual~*~

[ December 23, 2002: Message edited by: Orual ]

Nimrothiel · 01-13-2003, 05:32 PM

Lol! I just thought of a new one. Gimli in one of those commercials for a men's cologne where the guy is riding a horse. And the girl is EOWYN! [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

10-06-2002, 12:00 AM	#41
Brinniel Reflection of Darkness Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Polishing the stars. Well, somebody has to do it; they're looking a little bit dull. Posts: 2,983	Announcer: Your friends are out saving lives, kicking orc @$$, and destroying the One Ring. They invited you to join them. Scenes of the fellowship fighting orcs or doing anything that appears interesting appear on TV screen. Suddenly, the camera turns to Pippin, who is sitting in chair, looking bored as ever Announcer: But instead, you are sitting in Rivendell with nothing to do because, not only did Gandalf call you, "Fool of a Took," but you also smoked pipeweed. Smoke pipeweed, and you lose a wizard's trust. Stay Drug-Free. __________________ Nolite te bastardes carborundorum

10-06-2002, 01:09 AM	#42
Daisy Sandybanks Wight Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: California Posts: 101	One gold Ring.... (Camera shot of gold Ring in a mutated hand) Possesivness.... (Camera shot of Gollum sitting on a rock stroking a gold Ring) And a split personality.... (Camera shot of Gollum stroking a gold Ring and wispering "Precious, yes, we likes it my precious") Don't bother me, Im fondeling. [Rip off of a Carl's Jr. commercial] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] __________________ Knowlege is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

10-06-2002, 09:28 AM	#43
mordor136 Wight Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: snowboarding with Morgoth in the void Posts: 221	the scene starts with frodo and sam walking up to the green dragon. a mean looking orc bouncer turns them away. the two hobbits rush to an abandoned hobbit hole and rope off th entrance.(gaffer is bouncer)All the hobbits are having a wild party and drinking hobbit ale. the orc wants in. the gaffer throws the orc really far. he then looks to the camera and says "powerale, very real power." ok that was lame and a mix of two commercials [ October 06, 2002: Message edited by: mordor136 ] __________________ It's not A.D.D I'm just ignoring you. I'm like a super-hero with no powers or motivation

10-06-2002, 12:51 PM	#44
Diamond18 Eidolon of a Took Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: my own private fantasy world Posts: 3,460	I love your pipe-weed one, Brinniel, tee hee. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] A commercial for the extended edition DVD: Scene: A man is asleep in his bed. He opens his eyes and looks up, and sees Lurtz standing over his bed glowering at him. Cut to a little girl sitting at the breakfast table, holding an empty cereal box over her bowl. She glances across the table and sees Pippin sitting there with his bowl overflowing, munching away. Cut to another man sleeping in his bed. The Fellowship enters, Boromir blows his horn in the man's face and the others dump a bucketful of Caradhras snow on him. Announcer: "It's just like having Middle-earth come to your home! (Sorry if this isn't amusing, it's a spoof on a hilarious commercial for NFL football here in the states, but I've only seen it once...) __________________ All shall be rather fond of me and suffer from mild depression.

10-06-2002, 03:16 PM	#45
Fallen King of Angmar Haunting Spirit Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Minas Morgul Posts: 51	Lembas... mmmmm mmmmm... so good so good __________________ "Come not between the Nazghul and his prey! Or he will not slay thee in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shrivelled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye."

10-07-2002, 05:11 PM	#46
hobbitlass Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: next to the fire keeping warm Posts: 471	camera overhead shot An exhausted Frodo and Sam are sleeping against a rock of the Emyn Muil. camera pans to overhanging cliff Gollum is sneaking down the cliff towards the unsuspecting hobbits. camera closeup of Frodo's chest Gollum's nasty flappy hand is sliding under Frodo's cloak. camera zooms to Frodo's face Frodo's eyes fly open, he grabs Gollum's wrist..."Don't lay a finger on my Butterfinger!" __________________ Just because a person has the right to do something doesn't make it the right thing to do.

10-10-2002, 04:52 PM	#47
Demloth of Dol Amroth Wight Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 105	New Special at Burger Lord! Get a medium Choke, medium Fries, and a Double Man-Flesh Burger for 1.99! Onion Rings of Power only 10 cents extra! __________________ One by one the Free Lands of Middle Earth fell to the power of the Ring-but there were some, who resisted...

10-13-2002, 06:23 AM	#48
Persephine Animated Skeleton Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: In the arms of Eru Illuvatar Posts: 44	Hello everyone. I'm new around here. Please be gentle. Here's a few!!! ~~~~* KFC Commercial The one ring...It's finger licking good!!! ~~~~* Dunhill Commercial Style, quality, the one ring... ~~~~* Can't think any more...I'll write some more soon. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] __________________ ~~~~ Seph ~~~~ Believe in me. I can make you well. I can make you happy. Believe. Make me happy and love me in your turn. Believe in me.

10-13-2002, 07:43 PM	#49
gralin musicteeth Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Tossing half-sick between grotesque reality and savage, frightening dreams Posts: 360	Not much for this bys... but i'll give it a shot Set the scene: Arwen on horse on one side of the river and Ringwraiths are approaching the other side voice: introducing Elrond's own antiperspirant, with a power stripe Arwen: let's say those ringwraiths are odour, and this river is the power stripe in NEW Elrond's own anti-perspirant Wraiths approach, going all out. Suddenly river rises, and wipes them out Legolas and other pretty elves appear Legolas: I never go anywhere without looking pretty and smelling good! holds up a stick of Elrond's own Voice: now in Mirkwood musk and Lothlorien Fresh! well there's my lame and imbosilic attempt at humour. i'm goin to bed. __________________ Where was the stooped and mealy-coloured old man I used to call Poppa when the merry-go-round broke down?

10-14-2002, 01:30 AM	#50
The Daughter of Gollum and Shelob Animated Skeleton Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Cirith Ungol Posts: 32	"Get Frodo's Ring (plastic replica) for only $39.99!!! It's sooo amazingly cheap!! and it's a 75% off price!!" [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] __________________ Gollum Fan Club Forum

11-20-2002, 10:55 PM	#51
Orual Speaker of the Dead Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Superbia Posts: 868	It's been a while since anybody posted on this thread, but Diamond referred to it...it's so funny! I'm going to try my hand at it. ~~ [Frodo comes into Bag End. Bilbo is reading.] Bilbo: Hullo, Frodo! How was your day? [Frodo looks at the camera. Cut to scenes of Frodo being: chased by Nazgul, chased by Boromir, chased by orcs, chased by more Nazgul, chased by more orcs... Frodo takes a bite of lembas. His eyes widen.] Frodo: Fine. It was fine! [Bilbo looks up as Frodo walks off, smiling.] Announcer: Lembas. It might just be the lift you need. ~~ Like that Pop-Tart spinoff commercial...blimey if I remember what the product was called... ~~Orual~~ __________________ "Oh, my god! I care so little, I almost passed out!" --Dr. Cox, "Scrubs"

11-21-2002, 12:47 AM	#52
Diamond18 Eidolon of a Took Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: my own private fantasy world Posts: 3,460	Oh, er, ach! I know the exact commercial that your referring to, but blimey if I know the product either. BTW, very funny! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] Here's another one: Gimli: "Mithril is forever." Frodo: "And Mithril is a Hobbit's best friend." Announcer: "Give the gift that tells that special someone you really care. Give them Mithril this Yule season." Oh well, I guess I need some Lembas or something cause that was...lacking. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] __________________ All shall be rather fond of me and suffer from mild depression.

11-25-2002, 05:23 PM	#53
Diamond18 Eidolon of a Took Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: my own private fantasy world Posts: 3,460	"Absoloutely my dear Frodo!—" "—Positively my dear Sam!" Oh, what? Do you mean to tell me that none of you have seen those commercials for Hermax? __________________ All shall be rather fond of me and suffer from mild depression.

12-17-2002, 08:41 AM	#54
Nimrothiel Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Imladris Posts: 288	LMAO! Don't blame me for this one, a friend of mine thought of it. For those of you who have seen the Thermasilk commercials, you'll probably like this one. See if you can picture this in your head: Gandalf is in front of the Balrog, which snaps its whip around Gandalf's hair and beard. His hair is then made soft and silky by the extreme heat and the Thermasilk formula. He then tosses his head to show it off. OR Gimli in any Herbal Essences commercial. don't blame me, these weren't my ideas! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] __________________ "Walrus?! Will you quit makin' up imaginary animals?!!" ~ Sarge; Red vs. Blue

12-17-2002, 01:23 PM	#55
purplefluffychainsaw Wight Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: In a very cold place.... Posts: 162	Okay, sorry about this: ARWEN [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]o you remember when we first met? ARAGORN: You said you would bind yourself to me forver. ARWEN: And... ARAGORN: Sighs If I got a hair wash ARWEN:And to that I hold ARWEN hands ARAGORN bottel of Loriel shampoo ARAGORN: You can't give this to me ARWEN: It is mine to give to whom I will Screen flashes to close up of the bottle ARWEN: In backround Loriel. Because I'm worth it too... [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] __________________ Love, Drugs and Fairy Boys ~ SAM

12-17-2002, 10:08 PM	#56
Orual Speaker of the Dead Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Superbia Posts: 868	OH! That was FUNNY! But change it to Lorien! LoL! But that really was funny....I loved the sigh! LoL! ~~Orual~~ __________________ "Oh, my god! I care so little, I almost passed out!" --Dr. Cox, "Scrubs"

12-17-2002, 10:23 PM	#57
Aragorn_The_King Animated Skeleton Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Inside the LOTR book Posts: 34	OOOOooo These are good! Here is my try. Sam at moria: Poor Bill, how can I let him go. Is there anything you want Bill? Bill: Gives cheesey grin rolling lips up I want meow mix, I want weow mix, Ii Ii I want meow mix. If you expect emediate ressults from your insurance company turn to progressive. Shows Frodo put on ring and dissapear. We may not be changing the world. Shows the ring flying to fire. But we are changing the way people buy car insurance. STUPID, I KNOW. If you want someone who works for the people elect Sauroman. He wants peace unlike Sauron who has started two wars. Sauroman likes coller flare he is a genuine peacenick. Remember, vote green party. Use the ring-- it will make you feel good when everyone is looking down on you. Sideaffects may include wraithnes, pursuent evil, death etc. __________________ If you study into a field, there are worlds of information waiting to be found.

12-18-2002, 12:43 PM	#58
Aragorn_The_King Animated Skeleton Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Inside the LOTR book Posts: 34	Sorry I'm sorta stealing an idea-- Gimli takes bight of lembas "Wheres the I can't believe it's not butter? I need that soft buttery taste!" __________________ If you study into a field, there are worlds of information waiting to be found.

12-18-2002, 02:25 PM	#59
dragoneyes Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Completely lost track, sorry! Posts: 733	This is a radio one, it's been on all the time, it's time I took the mickey. Nazgul are busy decorating a christmas tree, the witch-king walks in Witch-king: The tree's looking very nice, but that's not a star on the top! Nazgul: No it's a replica of the gold ring that sauron lost all those years ago, he says it's there to remind santa what he wants for Christmas. witch-king: Ahhh, yes. announcer: Make your loved ones know what you want. The one ring, something someone you love would love for Christmas. __________________ "We might succeed in roasting Pippin alive inside." - Frodo.

12-23-2002, 07:02 PM	#60
Orual Speaker of the Dead Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Superbia Posts: 868	TWO TOWERS SPOILERS: DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW. REALLY. (Ithilien. Faramir walks into the room, draws his sword, etc. Gives his speech. Finally, it is the moment.) Faramir: The Ring will go to Gondor. (Freeze-frame Faramir's face. Cut to a man in a suit. Faramir's face is now on a screen behind him; he stands at a podium.) Man: Poor judgement: another side-effect of hunger. (Shots of lembas from various angles.) Man: Lembas, the waybread of the Elves. Lembas: don't let hunger happen to you! ~~ A la the Snickers commercials. ~~Orual~*~ [ December 23, 2002: Message edited by: Orual ] __________________ "Oh, my god! I care so little, I almost passed out!" --Dr. Cox, "Scrubs"

01-13-2003, 05:32 PM	#61
Nimrothiel Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Imladris Posts: 288	Lol! I just thought of a new one. Gimli in one of those commercials for a men's cologne where the guy is riding a horse. And the girl is EOWYN! [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] __________________ "Walrus?! Will you quit makin' up imaginary animals?!!" ~ Sarge; Red vs. Blue