101 Things LOTR Characters Would Never Say - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Daegwenn · 03-04-2002, 10:40 PM

Sauron: May I have my ring back now...pleeeeeeze!

Legolas: Would my hair look better if I got a perm?

Aragorn: Hmm...does anyone have a mirror and a razor, this beard is killing me.

Bilbo: Poetry? Poetry is for pansies.

Elrond: I don't know half of you as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

Gollum: I think I should work on my tan for a bit, you guys can go ahead with the ring and I'll met you later.

Glorfindel after being tossed off the mountain by the Balrog: Hey! That was fun! Can I do that again?

Gandalf: But I like blue better...why can't I have blue? I want to have a nice sky blue, i think it sets off my eyes.

Isildur to Sauron: Hey, you look good in black-and that complexion! My god, how do you look so young?
Sauron to Isildur: Cucumbers, Miracle Whip and Eggs--it works wonders for the wrinkles.

Galadriel: You expect me to give you a kiss, Dwarf? You smell like horse dung and look like the wrong side of an orc. No wonder your kind lives in dark caves, I would too if I looked like you.

Celeborn: Galadriel, You've got saggy boobs. Have you ever thought of getting plastic surgery?

Luthlien: Wolves aren't that bad...they're like big puppy dogs. All they need is a little love and affection.

Elrond: I'm illiterate.

Nazgul: Black isn't my colour...and these horses! Ugh! They are so Cliche! Like, why not get a nice Jaguar or Beamer?

I have more...but I think I have rambled on too much..
~~Daegwenn

03-04-2002, 10:40 PM	#11
Daegwenn Haunting Spirit Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Lothlórien Posts: 82	Sauron: May I have my ring back now...pleeeeeeze! Legolas: Would my hair look better if I got a perm? Aragorn: Hmm...does anyone have a mirror and a razor, this beard is killing me. Bilbo: Poetry? Poetry is for pansies. Elrond: I don't know half of you as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. Gollum: I think I should work on my tan for a bit, you guys can go ahead with the ring and I'll met you later. Glorfindel after being tossed off the mountain by the Balrog: Hey! That was fun! Can I do that again? Gandalf: But I like blue better...why can't I have blue? I want to have a nice sky blue, i think it sets off my eyes. Isildur to Sauron: Hey, you look good in black-and that complexion! My god, how do you look so young? Sauron to Isildur: Cucumbers, Miracle Whip and Eggs--it works wonders for the wrinkles. Galadriel: You expect me to give you a kiss, Dwarf? You smell like horse dung and look like the wrong side of an orc. No wonder your kind lives in dark caves, I would too if I looked like you. Celeborn: Galadriel, You've got saggy boobs. Have you ever thought of getting plastic surgery? Luthlien: Wolves aren't that bad...they're like big puppy dogs. All they need is a little love and affection. Elrond: I'm illiterate. Nazgul: Black isn't my colour...and these horses! Ugh! They are so Cliche! Like, why not get a nice Jaguar or Beamer? I have more...but I think I have rambled on too much.. ~~Daegwenn __________________ "And still of a winter’s night, they say, when the wind is in the trees, When the moon is a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas, When the road is a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor, A highwayman comes riding— Riding—Riding— A highwayman comes riding, up to the old inn-door. Over the cobbles he clatters and clangs in the dark inn-yard. And he taps with his whip on the shutters, but all is locked and barred. He whistles a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there But the landlord’s black-eyed daughter, Bess, the landlord’s daughter, Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair" Highwayman Alfred Noyes