101 Things LOTR Characters Would Never Say

3 rings for the elves who just wont die
7 for the dwarf lords who hate everyone
9 for the Mortal Men who have open flies
1 for the Dark Lord with his one eye
in the land of Mordor, where all eat pie
one ring to rule them all
one ring to find them
one ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
in the land of Mordor where all eat pie

so kiss it, stupid elf smiths