101 Things LOTR Characters Would Never Say

Sauron at the battle of the black gate:Wait!wait!eyelash!eyelash!
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Eowyn to Arwen:so, your immortal, huh?(shifty eyes)
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Gollum to the Ring:look, youre just too demanding. im dumping you, sorry.
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Feanor:that sucker morgoth, those silmarils are completaly plastic
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Beren:that song was great and all, but i actually like being dead
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Sam:so why did bilbo actually give you the ring?
Frodo:i think it stemmed from:hey, bilbo, if you replace the b's in your name with d's you get....
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this one was inspired by someone, im not sure who tho....
Merry to Aragorn:hey...Trotter,doesnt it suck being a hobbitt sometimes?
Aragorn:shut up

"If I hear 'not allowed' much oftener, im going to get angry" samwise