Walt Disney Pictures Presents...

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I feel an intense need to ressurect this. And my contribution:

Sauron: "Three rings for Elven Kings, under the sky!"
(In dance two male elves and one female
(to make the film cater to girls) all
about 2 feet tall with pointy ears and
halos.)
Sauron: "Seven for the Dwarf Lords, in their halls of stone!"
(Enter Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
(Snow White is their leader, as there
must be more girls involved. And she
polishes the rings in order to earn
dinner.))
The Dwarves: Heigh ho, Heigh ho,
The rings are bad, we know...
But we like gold
'Cuz we're greedy and old
Heigh ho, Heigh ho, Heigh ho,
Heigh ho!
Sauron: Nine for mortal men doomed to die!
(And in march 9 men, all looking
remarkably like the emporor from Mulan)
The Mortal Men:Hail Sauron! We are proud and weak. Let us become your slaves.

Now, in accordance to film time allowances, It shows a speeded up wraithing process, looking remarkably like some tree-growth film. The wraiths now begin a rousing song:

Oh the world will sing of an Evil King
A thousand years from now
And not because he killed en'mies
Or had an eye without a brow!
While great Aragorn goes off and leads
The great crusade he's on
We'll all have to slave away
For that Evil King Sauron!

Sauron: And one for ME!!!!!!!!!!!

And of course there is a song and dance routine for all, except Snow White, who is renamed Gimlet [to make up for Gimli's lack of existence in the movie] who is much to busy cleaning Sauron's great tower, since those crazy orcs have dirtied it so well.