Fishy Business

[Hot, crispy nice hobbit]

What? No-one's laughing? I am one miserable clown...

The Point, people, is that Balrogs don't have wings.

Their call-called wings, are giant fins, much like those of a marine fish. This shall explain the ing-like phenomenon that had been observed by the Nine Walker on the Bridge of Khazad-Dum

The Balrog reached the bridge. Gandalf stood in the middle of the span, leaning on the staff in his left hand, but in his other hand Glamdring gleamed, cold and white. His enemy halted again, facing him, and the shadow about it reached out like two vast wings.

The theory of Balrogs having a pair of vast ornamental wings which do nothing but flap has been gone over zillion times not just in this forum but also in dozen others. Scholars expound on the existence or non-existence of such wings, but few has ever concluded satisfactorily the purpose of such "wings".

Now if those excess appendages on Balrogs are not useful for flight, why not for swimming? Obviously, the Balrog which fell into the water with Gandalf had swam and not drowned. The two duelists survived the water to end it all on the top of a Mountain.

Now, what caused the appearance of the Balrog in the first place? Pippin's thrown rock into a well at the upper chamber. Could it not be that the Balrog was having a healthy dip under the water of the ancient water vault of the Dwarves, and was injured by the stone's fall? Surely, shortly afterwards, the sound of drums was heard constantly by the Fellowship. A Spirit of Fire is not about to be mocked anymore by a stone dropped on its head!

As the Balrog left his dip, he set fire to his drenched skin so as to dry himself, fueling the fire with his own body extract, and therefore we read that the orcs besieging the fellowship inside the chamber of records discussed of "fire".

As I stood there I could hear orc-voices on the other side: at any moment I thought they would burst it open. I could not hear what was said; they seemed to be talking in their own hideous language. All I caught was ghash: that is "fire".

By that time, of course, the Balrog has completely dried himself and is appearing as a buring creature. His FINs, however, could not be dried completely and fumed perpetually on his sides. The vast shadow-wings that we read of on the bridge may have been caused by the thick smoke underneath the FINS as he stretched them.

My previous article sought, of course, to explain both the drastic decrease in Balrog population and the appearence of Fossillized Balrog extracts in the Later Ages.

Hope this satisfy you.