The Warg and Warg Rider Appreciation Thread

[SamwiseGamgee]

It is generally understood that Ghrutu, son of Kharak and heir to Moria was killed for ransacking and generally creating bother on the elven borders, and so the elves must be just.
However, the truth is that a young, inexperienced elven archer panicked when he saw Ghrutu, falsely believing him to be a foe.
It was the latter that Kharak knew and hence his furious vengeance.
Does that answer your query, Eomer?

[galadriel'smaiden]

I, galadriel'smaiden, have a warg. A rabid, evil, ferocious, bloodthirsty one and a half foot high warg. It prowls my home, searching for cats and mice to terrorize. It has turned the backyard into a crater filled wasteland to be likened to Mordor itself. It leaves *gifts* for me, only to discover the *gifts* are highly toxic; I suffer greatly. But when the warg is asleep, I remember why the heck I bought it in the first place....

[SamwiseGamgee]

Wargs have indeed been known to dabble in the black arts, and it is quite possible that this warg you have is doing such a thing and leaving these 'presents'- possibly eye of toad and foot of newt- for you in some kind of Morgul taunt.
It sounds to me as though your warg is a dwarf dutch warg. They're famous for turning to other methods for proving themselves rather than the supreme power and physical prowess of larger breeds of warg.
However, there is one thing you must remember: you are not trully the master of this warg. the warg obeys no mere mortal, it merely submits itself as it chooses. 'Be wise in your treatment of the warg, for he forgets not lightly,' as Elrond once said.
Eomer, where are you, man? We need the original godfather of warg back for some great warg related stories!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Fear not Samwise and other Children of the Downs, I cannot forget this thread. It has become a demanding child to me, always begging for attention, interrupting my sleep, et cetera.

Your tale, Samwise, of the Wargs of the Brown Lands was gripping. For now, I am compiling another tale. Until then, I only insist that you take care if you are in contact with a Warg. I have few personal experiences with Wargs but one of them in particular is terrifying. I saw a Warg snatch a screaming child from a bus queue, snap it in half, and greedily suck down its fluids. It looked up at the onlookers, including myself, child-juices dribbling from its mandibles, and let loose a blood-curdling scream which rose into a piercing crescendo, as if daring us to protest. No-one did.

Beware Wargs. You cannot fully understand them.

[Kransha]

Ah, the noble warg and his master, the unsung heroes of unsungedness. What a marvellous concept has taken shape. I shall add my humble contribution, the lovingly paraphrased ballad. It is the sad story of the death of the regal Rawrrar, known to most as the Warg of Wantley, a vicious, gargantuan creature who wrough beautiful havoc on the small towns of the Westfold, and how he was smitten by the cunning Folc of Meduseld. So, without further ado.

The Warg of Wantley

Old stories tell how Gamgee, Sam
A spider slew at Ungol,
With six great legs and fourteen eyes,
To see and never bungle:
But he had Sting, this spider nothing,
Or he ne'er had done it, I warrant ye:
But Folc of Med-hall, with nothing at all,
He slew the Warg of Wantley.

This warg, he had two furious arms,
Each mounted 'neath each shoulder;
With a whip on his tail as long as a flail
Which made him bolder and bolder.
He had long claw's, and in his jaws
Four and forty teeth of iron;
With fur as tough as any buff,
Which did him round environ.

Have you not heard how the Trojan horse
Held seventy men in his belly?
This warg was just not quite so big,
But very near, I'll tell ye;
Devoured he poor children three,
That could not with him grapple;
And at one sup he ate them up,
As one would eat an apple.

All sorts of cattle this warg would eat,
Some say he ate up trees,
And that the forests sure he would
Devour up by degrees:
For houses and churches were to him geese and turkeys;
He ate all and left none behind,
But some stones, dear Jack, that he could not crack,
Which on the hills you will find.

Hard by a furious knight there dwelt;
Men, women, girls, and boys,
Sighing and sobbing, came to his lodging,
And made a hideous noise.
"Oh, save us all, Folc of Med-hall,
Thou peerless knight of these woods;
Do but slay this wolf, who our homes will engulf,
We'll give thee all our goods."

This being done, he did engage
To hew the warg beast down;
But first he went new armor to
Bespeak at Upbourn town;
With spikes all about, not within but without,
Of steel so sharp and strong,
Both behind and before, arms, legs, and all o'er,
Some five or six inches long.

Had you but seen him in this dress,
How fierce he looked, and how big,
You would have thought him for to be
Some Egyptian porcupig:
He frighted all, cats, dogs, and all,
Each cow, each horse, and each hog:
For fear they did flee, for they took him to be
Some strange, outlandish hedge-hog.

To see this fight all people then
Got up on trees and houses,
On churches some, and chimneys too;
But these put on their trousers,
Not to spoil their hose. As soon as he rose,
To make him strong and mighty,
He drank, by the tale, six pots of ale
And a quart of aqua-vitae.

It is not strength that always wins,
For wit doth strength excel;
Which made our cunning champion
Creep down into a well,
Where he did think this wolfhound would drink,
And so he did in truth;
And as he stooped low, he rose up and cried, "Oh!"
And kicked him in the mouth.

"Oh," quoth the warg with a deep sigh,
And turned six times together.
Sobbing and tearing, cursing and swearing
Out of his throat of leather:
"Folc of Med-hall, O thou rascal,
Would I had seen thee never;
With the thing at thy foot thou hast pricked my throat,
And I'm quite undone forever. "

"Murder, murder," the warg did cry,
"Alack, alack, for grief;
Had you but missed that place, you could
Have done me no mischief."
Then his head he shaked, trembled and quaked,
And down he laid and cried;
First on one knee, then on back tumbled he;
So groaned, and kicked, and died.

[SamwiseGamgee]

Bravo, Kransha!
This tale of brutal warg murder, whilst thoroughly dispicable for its subject matter, is trully a delight to read. Your prose has raised the bar here at the Warg Appreciation Society's thread. I shall have to make sure that my next tale of warg mystery and intrigue is particularly superb. (Of course it shall be, due solely to the fact that it is about wargs!)
Today I depart for a two night trip to Dublin, Eire, with one of the fairest maiden's that ere man hath seen. I must beseech the gods that they shall send a warg to guide our path and make our footsteps swift. I look forward to coming back and readind hundreds, perhaps thousands, of new warg-related posts!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Kransha, that poem was truly magnificent! You have surely embiggened this thread with your wonderful tale and I applaud and salute you for it.

In my next post I will tell a tale which shows the flip-side of Wargs. These treacherous rogues are not exactly a good advert for the sublime majesty of Wargdom. Nay, these Wargs typify why most of Middle-earth was so distrustful of Wargs. As Tolkien would surely agree, one of the greatest crimes is the misuse of power. When the power in question is that of the Wargs, devastation shall occur.