LOTR nicknames

[Morgul Queen]

*listens to the whirring of Tolkien in his grave* The few I use generally sound normal. Celebri for Celebrimbor...and occasionally for my darling Mini, Celebrimbror. Oh...and we call Movie!Legolas Captain Obvious....and Daeron is commonly called MINE!!!!!!....as is Feanor...and then there is Gimli, also referred to as *narrows eyes* Don't dis the Dwarf!...and...ah...*shuffles feet* Guess you'd better forget my first sentance then, huh?

“Today class,” Miss Cam said, smiling broadly, “we are going to talk about some of the things you do to Middle-earth names that doesn’t actually breed a mini-Balrogs. We are going to talk about…”

She took a dramatic pause, looking out over the class.

“Nicknames. That’s right, the horribly cutesy names that some have an urge to give to grown-up elves/hobbits/men. Quite frankly, I’m almost relieved there is no mini-Balrogs to gain there, because I cannot imagine something trying to be scary with a name like ‘Legsie’. Honestly…”

“But… But they are cute!” one girl argued.

Miss Cam narrowed her eyes. “Cute, you say? Let us observe a little experiment… If I may draw your attention to the window…”

The class reluctantly moved to the windows, gazing down to see a group of orcs gathered and a few metres away, Legolas, Frodo and Gandalf.

Syndarys immediately tried to sneak off to the door to get down there, but Borimir and Farimir were on guard and blocking the door. They sure moved fast, those mini-Balrogs.

“Observe, students. Orcs, take battle positions. Legolas, draw your bow.”

The class swooned as Legolas within a heartbeat had an arrow drawn and ready to fire.

“Impressive, yes? Even the orcs are wary of him. However, watch the effect of this…”

Taking a deep breath, Miss Cam leaned out the window.

“My Leggy, my adorable Legsie, please save me!”

The orcs looked at each other, then all of them broke into laughter. A few nearly fell down laughing so hard.

“See? Thank you, Legolas. Gandalf?”

Gandalf lifted his staff and sword, shining white in the sun. He looked most impressive, and the orcs stopped laughing.

“You shall not pass!” Gandalf said, and the orcs shifted their feet and looked ready to bolt.

“Again, observe this – Gandy-wandy, be careful!”

The orcs looked at each other. A few mouthed ‘Gandy-wandy’ before letting out a collective roar of laughter.

“I don’t think we’ll need your services Frodo, but thank you. Now, students, what did you learn from this?”

“Gandy-wandy! LEGGY!” the orcs howled, leaning on each other.

“Thank you, orcs, now get going before I start calling you all ‘Orcy- dorky’.”

The orcs ran off like their bums were on fire, leaving Legolas, Gandalf and Frodo to smirk. - OFUM

heh heh