Downsaholic Anonymous

[Sirithheruwen]

To Add To Perky's List...

ForumStalkeritis

Symptoms: Excessive use of the "Who's Online?" page.

Problem: Stalking fellow BDer's around the 'Downs.

Cure: The only way to prevent ForumStalkeritis from completely consuming you is repeating this everytime you feel the urge to click on the "Who's Online?" page: "I will not click here...I am not a stalker...I am a leader, not a follower." Repeat 10 times for the best results.

[Mad Baggins]

Hello...my name is Mad Baggins, and I am a Downsaholic.

It began when I was innocently surfing the Internet, looking for an Elvish name translator. I happened upon the Barrow Downs, and was impressed with all the names that came up. I noticed that the site had a forum and that was it. I made a username and began posting. I posted all the time. I couldn't stop. It was an epidemic. I noticed the Shire and entered. Again I was sucked in. When my computer broke down for three days I had conniptions every time I walked past it. When it was finally restored I attacked the forum with renewed vigour. I decided to get a new username. So I did. I began posting again, but with less ferocity. Soon it was no longer a feeding frenzy of posts every day, but more like a relaxed buffet. Still, I am hooked. Happily.

[The Perky Ent]

Updated List of Diseases:

Symptoms: Worn out Tolkien Books, millions of page markers in books, spams

Problem: It appears that you are suffering from Bookiosis. Bookisos is a rare disease that occurs to serious posters on the Downs and newbies who post in the first Forum they see.

Cure: Unfortunatly, the only cure for Bookiosis so far will not cure you of being a downsaholic. The only known cure for Bookiosis is to either commit to Nov and New, Quiz Room, Middle Earth Mirth, or join an RPG.

Symptoms: Making fun of Newbies, constantly posting things without much though, bordom induced posting

Problem: You are suffering from Novia-et-Newia, a rare disease found in people who have been posting on the downs for a long time. Very rare, yet easily to cure.


Cure: There is one cure. Get a life. Stop tormenting yourself with the pointlessness. It will only make you more of an addict. Just get a life and move on.

Symptoms: Fried eyes, Broken movies and DVD's. Quoting Spasms.

Problem: Yep! It's a textbook case! You are suffering from Movioma. The actual word would be virus, not disease. It starts to consume you as you constantly post in the movies. Constantly checking the EE appendicies looking for comments.

Cure: A easy cury for Movioma is to watch other movies. A lot of other movies. Hopefully, the dranage effect should reduce your urge. If it doesn't, consider watching a really bad movie. It helps to clear your mind.

Symptoms: Obsessive posting, refreshing the forum every 2 seconds, pestering people about missed posts, constantly bumping threads, having ongoing conversations throughout a thread

Problem: Yes, you have it. The most fatal and popular disease currently spreading through the barrow downs faster then any other. You have Quiz Roomitis!

Cure: Sorry, there is no current cure for Quiz Roomitis. Just live the rest of you life to the fullest!

Symptoms: millions of page markers in books, constant search engines running for quotes, friends searching through multible books

Problem: You are Quotaphobic. Not as powerful as Quiz Room-itis, but still powerful.

Cure:If you get someone to hide your books, and let the threads go bye, it should cure the urge.

Symptoms: Knowing too much about the Sil, being too smart

Problem: You suffer from Silmariliapox

Cure The cure for Silmariliapox is simply to stop being such a nerd. Just don't be a nerd. Ya nerd! God, you're such a nerd!

Symptoms: Forgotten homework assignments, spending all your time on the downs reading, spending weeks on a 5 paragraph post

Problem: You have RPGemia. It is common in a lot of downers and is not easy to cure, as you make a commitment by joining a RPG.

Cure: One cure for RPGemia is going on Hiatus. Taking a break. Saying you'll be out even though you won't. this cure wooks for some, but not others, as they will be caught posting in other forums but not the RPGs. Another harder cure is to balance your time, by placing convient saves and filling them in when you have time. Don't place a save when you know you can't fill it the next day. Also, make a chart of how many day's you have until they kick you out.

Symptoms: Being funny, having humor, having a good time.

Problems: There is nothing wrong with you. By posting in Middle Earth Mirth you prove you're not crazy.

Cure: posting in Middle Earth Mirth is the cure!

ForumStalkeritis

Symptoms: Excessive use of the "Who's Online?" page.

Problem: Someone has been abusing their power. You are suffering from Forum Stalkeritis, a drive-bye disease found during excessive posts.

Cure: The only way to prevent ForumStalkeritis from completely consuming you is repeating this everytime you feel the urge to click on the "Who's Online?" page: "I will not click here...I am not a stalker...I am a leader, not a follower." Repeat 10 times for the best results.


ANY MORE?!?

[Kransha]

There are, I believe, another one or two diseases.

Problem: The first is similar, in theory, to Silmarilopox, bit not quite. It stems from being too smart, but is more dangeroud to others. Though my name for is not necessarily the best one, I've dubbed it Hyperpostitis.

Symptoms: Primarily having long, sometimes massively off topic, almost entirely unreadable posts that are filled with stuff from LotR but are just too long and bizarre to even attempt reading. I myself have done this and, without offending anyone else, can honestly say I have seen posts like this from others (won't say who *whistles innocently*).

(Note: In truth, I love posts like this, but I'm sure they're not entirely heplful to some newcomers who might be utterly befuddled by a tremendous epic post)

Cure: Probably a simple toning it down. Long, thought-out posts are always encouraged, but after you've written such an epic monstrousity, take moment to read it over and make sure it is comprehendable.

The second problem, plausibly more dire.

Symptoms: You have become so attached to the Downs and its members that you are terrified of being shunned, even though the fact is unlikely, and thus never post anything controversial, interesting, argumentative, or even as far as your own views because you're afriad someone will disagree.

Problem: Barrowostriphobia (ooh, that's quite a name) is what I decided to dub this, since I believe it is a deep rooted fear of earning dislike from any member of the Downs in the form of 'cold-shoulder giving' or ostricism.

Cure: Just take a deep breath, wait for the oppurtunity to rise, and post as any person would. Don't be afriad if you're wrong or if someone doesn't agree. Unless you do something really stupid, you're on the right track (if you have done something really stupid, be afraid...be very, very afraid).

[ElenCala Isil]

Alas, I am ElenCala Isil (call me Mip) and I'm afraid I am a downsoholic. I, fell to the power of the downs when a friend discreetly handed me a url in a back alley. I.. I took it without thinking, and my life has never been the same. I even hallucinate, thinking there are barrow-wights in every corner, I spend days trying to perfect posts, and I feel powerless without it. Mirth, in particular, has become my happy drug. It would seem I'm proving I'm not crazy, I just have a good time, but I feel that I may have acute RPGemia! I have often thought in math class Eep! I forgot to do my homework! But I know those extra hours of perfecting my RPG post will have paid off. When's the next time I can get to a computer? I have to check if someone has replied!!I know I used to have quotophobia, but I seem to have broken the disease sucessfully. Some might say I suffer from Silmariliopox, but if I'm led to believe it might be Hyperpostitis. *hangs head* I know I have Forum Stalkeritis. I've suffered from it since I can remember, and I don't think I have it in me to stop. And the one disease that I suffer from severely, is Movioma. The quote spasms seem to grow daily, more and more until I get to the point that when given a sheet of paper, I begin to write out a movie script! But with your professional examinations of said diseases, I shall try to recover from my symptoms. Perhaps there is hope for me yet!

[The Perky Ent]

Symptoms: Worn out Tolkien Books, millions of page markers in books, spams

Problem: It appears that you are suffering from Bookiosis. Bookisos is a rare disease that occurs to serious posters on the Downs and newbies who post in the first Forum they see.

Cure: Unfortunatly, the only cure for Bookiosis so far will not cure you of being a downsaholic. The only known cure for Bookiosis is to either commit to Nov and New, Quiz Room, Middle Earth Mirth, or join an RPG.

Symptoms: Making fun of Newbies, constantly posting things without much though, bordom induced posting

Problem: You are suffering from Novia-et-Newia, a rare disease found in people who have been posting on the downs for a long time. Very rare, yet easily to cure.


Cure: There is one cure. Get a life. Stop tormenting yourself with the pointlessness. It will only make you more of an addict. Just get a life and move on.

Symptoms: Fried eyes, Broken movies and DVD's. Quoting Spasms.

Problem: Yep! It's a textbook case! You are suffering from Movioma. The actual word would be virus, not disease. It starts to consume you as you constantly post in the movies. Constantly checking the EE appendicies looking for comments.

Cure: A easy cury for Movioma is to watch other movies. A lot of other movies. Hopefully, the dranage effect should reduce your urge. If it doesn't, consider watching a really bad movie. It helps to clear your mind.

Symptoms: Obsessive posting, refreshing the forum every 2 seconds, pestering people about missed posts, constantly bumping threads, having ongoing conversations throughout a thread

Problem: Yes, you have it. The most fatal and popular disease currently spreading through the barrow downs faster then any other. You have Quiz Roomitis!

Cure: Sorry, there is no current cure for Quiz Roomitis. Just live the rest of you life to the fullest!

Symptoms: millions of page markers in books, constant search engines running for quotes, friends searching through multible books

Problem: You are Quotaphobic. Not as powerful as Quiz Room-itis, but still powerful.

Cure:If you get someone to hide your books, and let the threads go bye, it should cure the urge.

Symptoms: Knowing too much about the Sil, being too smart

Problem: You suffer from Silmariliapox

Cure The cure for Silmariliapox is simply to stop being such a nerd. Just don't be a nerd. Ya nerd! God, you're such a nerd!

Symptoms: Forgotten homework assignments, spending all your time on the downs reading, spending weeks on a 5 paragraph post

Problem: You have RPGemia. It is common in a lot of downers and is not easy to cure, as you make a commitment by joining a RPG.

Cure: One cure for RPGemia is going on Hiatus. Taking a break. Saying you'll be out even though you won't. this cure wooks for some, but not others, as they will be caught posting in other forums but not the RPGs. Another harder cure is to balance your time, by placing convient saves and filling them in when you have time. Don't place a save when you know you can't fill it the next day. Also, make a chart of how many day's you have until they kick you out.

Symptoms: Being funny, having humor, having a good time.

Problems: There is nothing wrong with you. By posting in Middle Earth Mirth you prove you're not crazy.

Cure: posting in Middle Earth Mirth is the cure!

ForumStalkeritis

Symptoms: Excessive use of the "Who's Online?" page.

Problem: Someone has been abusing their power. You are suffering from Forum Stalkeritis, a drive-bye disease found during excessive posts.

Cure: The only way to prevent ForumStalkeritis from completely consuming you is repeating this everytime you feel the urge to click on the "Who's Online?" page: "I will not click here...I am not a stalker...I am a leader, not a follower." Repeat 10 times for the best results.

Symptoms: Primarily having long, sometimes massively off topic, almost entirely unreadable posts that are filled with stuff from LotR but are just too long and bizarre to even attempt reading. I myself have done this and, without offending anyone else, can honestly say I have seen posts like this from others (won't say who *whistles innocently*)

Problem: Hyperpostitis.

Cure: Probably a simple toning it down. Long, thought-out posts are always encouraged, but after you've written such an epic monstrousity, take moment to read it over and make sure it is comprehendable

Symptoms: You have become so attached to the Downs and its members that you are terrified of being shunned, even though the fact is unlikely, and thus never post anything controversial, interesting, argumentative, or even as far as your own views because you're afriad someone will disagree

Problem: Barrowostriphobia, a deep rooted fear of earning dislike from any member of the Downs in the form of 'cold-shoulder giving' or ostricism

Cure: Just take a deep breath, wait for the oppurtunity to rise, and post as any person would. Don't be afriad if you're wrong or if someone doesn't agree. Unless you do something really stupid, you're on the right track (if you have done something really stupid, be afraid...be very, very afraid)


yay! Now this is becomming like a field guide!

[The Perky Ent]

IMPORTANT: Remember, don't stick to following this guide! There are many others out there. And remember, this thread isn't just a field guide, it's a DA, so to keep the thread clean, stick to telling your story, unless your idea is very good, in which case PM me, i'll edit it and give u the credit!