Murder Mysteries Solved!

[Evisse the Blue]

My unfortunate room mates (who know naught and care not of this blessed realm where I now reside) have repeatedly promised to do me in, and I ended up begging them to release my spirit from the burden of living. Alas, they tried to many times: choking me, pushing me off the balcony... But they're so incompetent, they can never finish the job...

In the end, the sweet(er than miruvor) but deadly combination of coffee+vodka that I was in the habbit of savouring satisfied my death wish and left me cold and Blue.

And this is how I came to join this realm I had before only dreamt of. *bliss*

[Meneltarmacil]

I came to this site while searching for LOTR info, pictures, etc. Unfortunately, I happened to stumble upon the Mad Libs, did one, and laughed myself to death.

Which is how I found myself here. But I'm not complaining. I like it here.

[ElanorGamgee]

Well, my death story is a bit *ahem* embarrassing, you see. A bit of a mix up on my part; in fact, you might call it a comedy of errors…except that comedies don’t end in death, normally. But I digress.

You see, I was on the wrong side of the Brandywine, for one thing. But that’s perfectly normal, because I live on the outskirts of Bree, and queer folk live on the western side of the Brandywine, as everyone knows. No, I was on the wrong side because my dratted relatives live on the opposite. I don’t understand why cousin Daffodil married that ridiculous Proudfoot and agreed to live among such odd folk, but I couldn’t very well refuse an invitation to her forty-first birthday party, now, could I? So I packed a few things and set off on the path to Hobbiton.

Now, normally I wear my glasses when I drive the wagon anywhere, as it is a responsible thing to do and I consider myself as good a hobbit as any. However, I forgot the things in my befuddled state of mind and was well down the road before I realized my pony looked remarkably like a large furry sofa. But not one to allow small shortcomings to deter me, I drove on, even urging poor Teddy to trot faster. It was around this time that the beast must have taken the left rather than right turn at the fork in the road, and therein lies the fatal mistake.

Evening neared, and the blurred objects before me began to melt together into darkness. The country was hilly, and the hills seemed to have points jutting from the tops. To my imperfect eyes, they looked as if they could be some manner of dwellings, and, well, folk outside Bree are known for being awful strange. Despite his stubbornness, I urged Teddy toward the nearest one.

I felt the air chill and snapped the reins, but the pony would not budge. Cursing the creature, I hopped out of the wagon to lead him by the reins. Teddy had other plans; the insolent beast bolted the moment my foot touched the grass. With nowhere to go but forward, I approached the top of the hill.

A dark figure emerged. My heart ought to have leapt for joy, but it ended up in my mouth instead. I staggered forward, wishing to turn, but fixed to my destination. A thin streak of an arm reached forward and beckoned icily. I kept moving closer and closer as the figure grew larger in my sight, until the darkness of the robes enveloped my sight. Then I woke up to discover myself wearing the most outrageous costume jewelry in the company of you good people. My, folk outside Bree certainly are strange, and no mistake!

[Nimrothiel]

What is life but death;
an evil from our rebellious past.
It begins with our first breath,
and only ends at our last.

I was the half-elf who joined the Fellowship near the foot of Cahadras. My tale is never told, for I was cast out of Elrond's household. Mithrandir took pity on me, and allowed me to join the Fellowship. I had expressed a wish for them to end my weary existence, but he persuaded me to join a noble cause which would probably have death as the only prize. I remained with them as we entered Moria, I was there in the battle with the orcs. I met my tragic end when I threw myself in front of the fateful spear which would have pierced Frodo. Alas that I knew naught of his mithril coat! Yet I found peace in death, for do I not dwell here among you?

[Maeggaladiel]

ELANOR GAMGEE!!! We share a common detest for glasses! As you probably know, I am (well, was) one of the few nearsighted fey folk. I feel your pain. My glasses were the cause of my own demise, as well. (read my previous post about the Elvis impersonators and squirrels on this thread.) Perhaps I should expand my Society for Nearsighted Elves to accomodate any dead creatures that were brought to their unbreathing state of existance by glasses, as well! The Society proudly presents you with an Ivory Lily for Honorable Death in the Face of Glasses-Wearing. Bravo, Bravo!

By the way, did you ever find Teddy? I think I saw a lone horse plodding by the downs the other day. Perhaps he was trying to return your glasses.

Nearsighted and Proud,
MAEG!

PS- NIMROTHIEL- Thank you for sharing your sad tale! I feel for you. Being a half-elf can be very stressful, and not being recorded in the Book must be extremely painful to discuss. Bravo! The Society wishes to award you with the Pearl Lily for Best Fellowship Death Not Recorded in the Book. You beat Haldir by 27 votes! We would also like to award you with the White Lily for Saving an Unworthy Ringbearer! Curse and bebother that hobbit for not sharing his little secret! But at least you are among friends now. Dead friends, but friends nonetheless.


PSS- GALADRIEL'S MAIDEN- I think I may be able to help you. The Society for Nearsighted Elves presents you with a free seven month's prescription to Ringorette Patch- the only clear patch that delivers a small dose of evil ring directly into your bloodstream. I hope it helps you quit your addiction to rings of power and assists you in finding true death among the dead downies. You can also buy Ringorette gum in orange or wintergreen flavors at a local drugstore.