The Warg and Warg Rider Appreciation Thread

[SamwiseGamgee]

That doesn't surprise me. It's not like we didn't know that wargs are conniseurs of style and chic. They probably introduced to cocoa bean to Brasil also. Perhaps I'll go off and do some research on that one. What a great way to spend an evening!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

There is a most delightful library in Guadeloupe which has a large section on Wargs. I once spent 5 consecutive days there learning about Wargs. Alas, I had to leave because I had a plane to catch to get back home. Nevertheless, I intend to go back there one day in the near future; so much remains to be discovered from the ancient scrolls in that building.

My faith in mankind took yet another knock earlier today when some mindless individuals shouted across the street at me, in order to say "Cull the Wargs!" I'll admit that I would take pleasure in seeing those imbeciles being ripped apart by a pack of ferocious Wargs. Is that wrong or harsh? I don't think so.

I was made slightly happier, however, when just seconds after this event, a young boy, probably about 6 years old, confronted the mob and yelled at them "No! Wargs are great!"

Always remember that there ARE good people out there.

And another thing, I saw a Warg footprint only 100 metres from my house! More on that next time.

[SamwiseGamgee]

Well, after a day searching the libraries and annuls of this country I have discovered that my earlier claim was wrong, wargs did not introduce the cocoa bean to Brasil. What a mistake for me to make. No, dear friend, the wargs did far more: they introduced the tree to Brasil!
'So what?' I hear you cry, 'Shetland has no trees, and they manage fine!'
Perhaps, but let me remind you of a little geography:

THE AMAZON RAINFOREST!

Yes, that's right, it was wargs who, just after saving Peru, I imagine, travelled to Brasil and planted the first tree in what would be the greatest forest known to man. What greatness!
Oh, and also, I just discovered an album, available on a certain online shop with a name which has just been mentioned (no corporate sponsorship on this thread, oh no! Mmmm, that's some good Irn-Bru I'm just drinking now, as I always do when I go online. Ahem!) by Jimi Hendrix. It was an experimental album and it features the original version of several of his most famous songs, though with notable title differences. Highlights of the album include 'Little Warg' and 'The Wind Cries Warg.' What an awesome album!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

That is fascinating Samwise. Right now I am compiling a tale about The Warg Rider. It is a tale filled with malice and evil, and yet only leaves the reader with a slight understanding of the extraordinary powers of The Warg Rider.

Oh, it makes me shiver with terror just thinking about that sick beast.

[SamwiseGamgee]

Such terror it would surely induce in even the stoutest of spirits. That is the terrifying power of the warg rider. I look forward to hearing this legacy at a later date. Though, hopefully, not too late.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

The Warg Rider was not just a manipulator of Wargs. He had armies of his own, containing mostly Orcs and some evil Men as well (and of course, several Wargs). He had sick purposes. Sauron, for example, at least had an understandable goal. He wanted to dominate Middle-earth. Not so the Warg Rider.

The Warg Rider (who was surely the most powerful Orc in the history of ME) delighted in distress and revelled in the suffering of others. His only goal was to inflict pain and misery on the world he lived in. The Warg Rider (whose true name is long forgotten) has been living this way for thousands of years.

On a time, The Warg Rider led an army in battle against the Men of Rohan. The Orcs were slaughtered, but The Warg Rider was able to escape the battle-scene with one possessed Warg, a mighty beast. They slinked through Rohan for days, but the Warg Rider had bad injuries, he was near death. The Warg carried him into a forest clearing and hid him, and went to seek help. It so happened that there was a small village about a mile from the forest, and the Warg was greeted by the people of Rohan. The people took him into their homes and healed him and fed him, but every night the Warg would sneak out into the forest and brought with him some food and drink for his master, the Warg Rider, and in this way he was healed back to his foul power.

When he was better, he summoned several Wargs to the forest. At night, in an act of supreme despicability, the Warg Rider ordered his Wargs to commit massacre in the village. He left only one person alive, a feeble old woman whose husband he had decapitated right in front of her. He left her alive because he wanted someone to tell the tale of the Warg Rider's exploits. He then stole much of the village's supplies of food and left the ravaged land, laughing sadistically as he walked away.

[SamwiseGamgee]

My goodness, my blood runs chilled at this story of treachery and deceit. The Warg Rider is trully the coldest, most saddistical and manipulative creature ever to have lived. His dark gaze and foul smirk turn the hearts of men to poison and their spirits doth ruin.
For years he has scourged all that is good and just in the lands he chooses to victimise, just as he did in your story, Eomer. It is even told in Buckland of how he came and conversed with the hobbits who dwelt there on the edge of the Old Forest, though only the eldest of hobbits remembers it, and, after all, they're queer folks on the other side of the Brandywine.
Who knows if these stories are true? Who knows if the tale Fatty Bolger once told of a great battle between this Warg Rider and Old Man Willow are true? It is unlikely that there are any. Apart, perhaps, from Tom Bombadil. That, however, shall have to wait.