Everything I need to know I learned from LOTR

[Maeggaladiel]

These are great!

~If you tell Frodo NOT to do something, he'll do it as soon as you're back is turned. (EX- "Don't put on the ring!" "Don't look at the lights!" "Don't listen to Gollum!")

~Forget bodyguards; hire a gardener.

~If you're a woman and you dress in men's clothing, everyone will think you're male. A chesty, willowy, high-voiced male with big lips and mascara.

~However, if you're a male and you wear a dress, nobody thinks you're a woman; you're either an elf or a wizard. (Although with the elves, it's sometimes hard to tell...) Still, nobody sees anything wrong with that.

~If your "good" boss has an evil black tower, an evil black staff, an evil black stripe in his beard, evil long fingernails, evil shifty eyes, and an evil-sounding voice, chances are that he may actually be evil. Even though he's wearing white.

~Never underestimate the power of a moth.

That's all for now.
~Maeg

[Esgallhugwen]

ok I may have a few more...

-never say your safe because your still in the Shire, thats code for your fellow Hobbits to mow you down in a corn feild.
-Always carry a Hafling around. You never know when you'll need one
-Always keep handy an Elvish phile filled with liquid starlight to scare away nasty big spiders
-speaking of spiders, never ignore the fact that their webbing is extremely sticky (and could probably substitute for super glue)
-Keep anything flamable away from suicidal pyromaniacs or just pyromaniacs in general


mwahahahaha....theres more to come!

[Sapphire_Flame]

2. you have to be fast if you want to get your screen time. Arwen might take it.

*SNORK!!*

If you're ever in a fight with nine nazgul, don't worry. They will attack you one by one and the others will wander around looking threatening until it is their turn.

So true, so true.

~Although you spent the whole trip carrying that huge shield around, the ONE TIME you need it, you won't have it.

~Deforestation can be hazardous to your health and to your plans of world domination.

~When in trouble, call Legolas.

~When in doubt, blame Sauron.

~Evil minions can't swim very well.

Abedithon le,

~*~Aranel~*~

[Sirithheruwen]

Although you spent the whole trip carrying that huge shield around, the ONE TIME you need it, you won't have it.

Actually, I never noticed that before. That's strange, considering how many times I've seen it. Strange....

[Morai]

Deforestation can be hazardous to your health and to your plans of world domination.

Ouch...that sounds like something a treehugger would say around where I live. *Shudder*

Hmmm... That explains Aragorns hydrophobia...

Probably doesn't want to loose his pretty silver /emerald ring. (Kinda reminds me of a "class ring"

*Don't follow fashion trends, especially when they're started by a powerful sorcerer who has been associated with Morgroth.

*If you're disguised in ork armor and you are a hobbit, no one will notice. Well...except maybe the Eye....

*But of course he's being distracted by another army...right until someone puts on the Ring

[Maeggaladiel]

If you're disguised in ork armor and you are a hobbit, no one will notice. Well...except maybe the Eye....

BUT-- Being only a single eye, he has no depth perception. Therefore even if he DOES see you in your deceptive armor, he can't tell if you're ten MILES away or ten FEET away.

Tree huggers, Morai? Do you live in Oregon? Because they have similar problems there. *slaps forehead-* Oh, duh. "Halfway between equator and pole..." I don't think Oregon has that strategic placement. Nevermind!

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

Lol, true true.

If a friend starts being protective over a ring, kill him...right away, don't wait two thousand years to do it...