The Hills of Evendim Planning/Discussion Thread

[Esgallhugwen]

All your ideas are absolutely lovely LMP, it sounds good to me and I like how you've portrayed my character in your post hopefully Lumiel will agree, so that perhaps we could work together on a post, if not I could make up one for the both of us If thats ok with her.

I'm probably going overboard but I've decided to make a lament (or at least a snippet of) for Lira. I've never really written a lament before but I do write poems and prose occasionally, and I'm thinking of doing it in Quenya (just to be complicated), I'm using "Ardalambion of the Tongues of Arda" for reference. I've never written in Quenya, so my rhyming skills could be a bit iffy. Haha, my actual rhyming skills in english are probably a bit iffy too

However, if you find that this could be a bit too much, feel free to stop me, after all it might wind up being a botched attempt.

[littlemanpoet]

Glad you like what I've been doing, Eswen. And by all means, Eswen, proceed with the lament! I'm eager to see what this looks like! I'm wondering if you'd care to present an English translation on the discussion board? Perhaps you'd be willing to entertain suggestions for the lament once it's up?

[Imladris]

Yes I like the idea of a lament and I think it would be in the true spirit of Tolkien.

I doff my hat to you, Eswen, for being able to write elvish....

[littlemanpoet]

Imladris, your post for Gorby just about brought me to tears. Very good!

And yes, I'm a sucker that way.

[Esgallhugwen]

Sure once I get the lament done I'll post it up to take ideas. I don't know how long its going to be and I decided I probably won't have it ryhme, only becuase it would be difficult for me to do so in Elvish. But I hope its still good, I'll get it up soon.

[Elora]

I realise that my name is mud, and rightly so, owing to my loooooooong absence.

I posted in homage and to convey the high regard I hold you all in. Having read through your wonderful work, I hope that I may say:


CONGRATULATIONS!


Well, having emerged from enforced isolation, I suppose I should stick around long enough for you guys to throw rotten tomatoes at me for abandoning you all.

Not that you needed me. Far from it. Such fine writing, I am simply over the moon and astounded at the quality of work and story telling (and more than a little miffed at circumstances that led me to absent myself for so long - boy, did I miss out!)

Let the tomato throwing begin



*Elora holds arms out and resigns herself to a pelting with good cheer*

[Esgallhugwen]

Ok, I have two versions, I've been trying to think really hard on this but lots of other stuff is going on. Like my grad this saturday for instance, but thats besides the point.

Hope you think there fairly reasonable, please feel free to make suggestions to me, this is the first time I've written a lament and I have no idea what I'm doing

First one:

Lira Nen where now does she dwell?
No longer in Eryn Lasgalen or Fair Ithilien
Her sweet voice will not be heard in these lands again

In the raging storm doom called her
Alas! That her body was broken in that evil place,
That her soul was imprisoned in the shadows.
In the darkness the red demon came but she defied him.

A! Elbereth Gilthoniel!
silvren penna míriel
o menel aglar elenath,
Gilthoniel, A! Elbereth!

Her very essence was star and moonlight
And so she quited the earth when dawn rose.

The sea calls, white shores and emerald fields
Silver and gold flowers sway in the ocean breeze
Birds sing enchanting melodies.

No more tears shall be shed from her crystal blue eyes
No longer will she weep from despair in these mortal lands,
No longer will she feel the pain of death around her

Rest now in sacred Valinor, beloved Lira
Rest now away from the toils of Middle- Earth
In the land of eternal twilight.

Second one:

Light fades, sun sets, twilight breaks, night rests as the shadows come.
To the dark gate the company marched
A storm roared in hunger, doom called Lira Nen
Alas! That her body was broken in that cursed place

The blood of others was the evil ones undoing,
Now the enslaved are set free.
Behold the light of Valinor, dearest Lira
Go now and dream in harmony
No more troubled by the perils of mortal lands.



**Well there they are I'm not sure about some of the lines, but tell me what you think and what I should change (if anything, though I'm sure there are a few things that could be improved) Then I'll translate it into Quenya

Oh and by the way, I would never want to throw tomatoes at you Elora, I can understand how busy things can get sometimes. And I think even though you havn't been here alot you've still contributed nicely to the story!