Everything I need to know I learned from LOTR

[Maeggaladiel]

Ah, so you are nearsighted too, Saphire_Flame? You are among good company!

~Royal familes are too often disfunctional.

~Blondes come from Rohan, brunettes come from Gondor.

~When faced by a large army, try lobbing chunks of your city at them. All they can do is sidestep, right?

~Trolls make excellent drummers. Why use the massive, strong, nearly-indestructable trolls for combat when they have such musical talent?

~Never forget about that little sidedoor right next to the place where the Uruks are bashing in the gate. They'll never notice it, so you might as well use it.

~A single dirty human and a dwarf can take up to fifteen fully-armed Uruk-hai on a narrow bridge, no problems.

~Real men ride horses.

~Real women slay witch kings.

~Don't worry about Gollum. You didn't need that finger, anyway.