The masks of inscrutability, or are you really you?

[Kransha]

Hoho, I feel suddenly as if I hold great power. Am I the only one here with more than two egos in alteration! Ah, I see so far that I may be. How very...intriguing...yes.

As said, I am multi-scizophrenic. Kransha is my online personality, and Mattvae Mikhaelovich Sergeiov Omordova Heimovitz is one of the two I use in reality (that, if you'd like to know is not my real name, but it would have been if I still lived the Old Country [more reminiscing]). My final is M****** (copyright carefully avoided). Kransha is, for one, an orc, which I most certainly am not. I know not why he is an orc, he merely is. On other forums which I register on, he is still an orc, even if said forum has nothing to do with Tolkein or orcs of any kind. He is, however, an intelligent orc. He fancies himself as a bit of a oligarch, not pompous, but very humorous, gentile, not condescending, but full of bombastic vocabulary and opinions. If you've read the BD-Birthday Party Thread of late, you might understand some of Kransha's noble ideosynchrasies.

His Ruske counterpart is most of my undesirable traits, but plated as good. MMSOH (as I've come to call him), IS condescending in his attitude. He is tyranical, oppressive, overbearing, argumentative, and temperemental. He is also a boyar of pre-communist Russia and the dictator of the small but fiesty country of Combatsylvania, inhabited by the belligerent Combatsylvanian Myrmidons. Trust me, I have no idea in all Arda why he is thus, he simply is. He always comes out sparingly, mostly in heated arguments. He is helpful because he has more confidence than the other two, and I admit that I have let him type for me once or twice, but very little, and I often let Kransha bowdlerize each of his 'contributions.'

The third is, simply put, me. He's a bit Kransha, a bit MMSOH, a bit Napolean, a dash of Saruman, a slice of Merry Brandybuck, a pinch of Abe Lincoln, and a squirt of Mahatma Ghandi. He's all of that rolled into one, neat, utterly chaotic package. I would never let this persona loose on these forums. Though it shames me that I must hide him in the so-called "real" world, but I must. He's far too liberal, too simple, too flawed. My mask is not a complicated one, just one thar keeps my alternate egos from warring like an unkempt band of hydra heads, so to speak.

Post Script: For those of you who care to know, or commented, I had to let MMSOH decide a few things about my online identity, so I allowed him to dictate my avatar. As this has been spoken of in the past, I thought I might make it clear that all thanks, criticism, or banana peels, should be directed to the Combatsylvanian League of Manageable Receptionists, P.O. Box 1337, Picklesworth, VA.

[Beren87]

Beren is Matt at his most bored.

[Imladris]

I must say that Imladris is kind of like me. Actually, my normal self is more revealed and slightly exaggerated online because I am protected from you all by a faceless computer screen that cannot interrupt me, cannot roll their eyes at me, cannot smirk at my stupidity, etc.

I am far less bold in real life than I am here...and even here I am not all that bold.

[HerenIstarion]

Hoho, I feel suddenly as if I hold great power. Am I the only one here with more than two egos in alteration! Ah, I see so far that I may be. How very...intriguing...yes.

Kransha, you forget that there are five wizards of quite different disposition, powers and mindsets behind my nickname

Mith, 'mithology' is quite a word, I like it

Durelin

but it's not supposed to feel like a big family, or even a group of classmates or workmates

I don't think it is. But this is as close to friendship as virtual thing may come to it. For one, we all share one common interest, that is, Tolkien. Than, there are a lot of inner smaller rings, expressing themselves by who and where is mainly to be found. And looking at familiar nicks for a lengthy period of time, the affection comes in. I miss my fellow [insert nick here] every time I'm away from my PC. Sure, I miss discussion, chance to express myself in a way I like, but I also miss those whom I express myself to. And not only because they are my audience, and I'm theirs, for I enjoy reading as much as writing, but because I find them (or at least them as they appear under their nicks) good in themselves, and wonder sometimes how lucky I am to have those great people around me who are able, maybe, of dragging me up to their level (did I mention 'mutual admiration society' already?)

And to an extent, it does not matter that they may be different in 'real life'. For one, I, probably, would never have chance to find out. For another, when we communicate here, it is their 'mask' that counts, and they (or should I say - me?) are transformed into persons defined by their nicks. So this is davem, Child, Mhoram I know, not David, Helen or [another] David, but it does not matter as far as we communicate online

I would be glad to meet you IRL (there was a whole thread by Esty (or Estelyn? ) about meeting of fellow BD-ers. But those people you meet IRL are somehow more, and other than, people who's gender, age and name are unknown unless revealed, but whom one is strongly attached to on the simple basis of their writing.