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Old 06-07-2004, 11:15 AM   #1
The Perky Ent
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White Tree
Nice. Here's another Python:
Quote:
Aragorn: If you don't stop, I'll kill you!

Lurtz: The black night *cough* I mean Lurtz knees before no man!

Aragorn: Fine *cuts Lurtz's arm off* Now stand aside!

Lurtz: It's just a scratch

Aragorn: Why you! *Stabs Lurtz in the stomach*

Lurtz: I am invincible!

Aragorn: You're a loony! *cuts off Lurtz's head*

Lurtz: It's just a flesh wound!

Aragorn: Just a flesh wound! You've got no bloody head!

Lurtz: Yes I have!

Aragorn: Well, I'm going to go look for Merry and Pippin now. So, see ya!

*Aragorn leaves*

Lurtz: Come back here! I'll bite your nose off! You pansie!
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'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.'
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Old 06-07-2004, 06:41 PM   #2
Audreidi
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Wonderful thread!

Quote:
RANDOM SOLDIER: Halt! Who goes there?
ARAGORN: It is I, Aragorn, son of Arathorn, from the north. King of Men, defeater of Mordor, Sovereign of all Gondor!
RANDOM SOLDIER: Pull the other one!
ARAGORN: I am... and this is my trusty servant Pippin.
PIPPIN: Hullo.
ARAGORN: We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Minas Tirith. I must speak with your lord and master.
RANDOM SOLDIER: What? Ridden on a horse?
ARAGORN: Yes!
RANDOM SOLDIER: You're using coconuts!
ARAGORN: What?
RANDOM SOLDIER: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
ARAGORN: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Rohan, through--
RANDOM SOLDIER: Where'd you get the coconuts?
ARAGORN: We found them.
RANDOM SOLDIER: Found them? In Rohan? The coconut's tropical!
ARAGORN: What do you mean?
RANDOM SOLDIER: Well, this is a temperate zone.
PIPPIN: D'oh!
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--Audreidi & Jandalf, proud members and Twins of Optometry for the Society of Nearsighted Elves
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Old 06-07-2004, 09:49 PM   #3
The Perky Ent
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White Tree
Welcome to the Downs Audreidi! Awesome post!
Quote:
Gandalf: I am a servant of the Secret Fire, weilder of the flame of Anor. The dark fire shall not avail you, flame of Udún!
*Gandalf makes bubble shield thingie*
Balrog: Uh...
*shield flickers and dies off*
Balrog: He he he
Gandalf: Bugger off!
Balrog: K
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'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.'
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Old 06-08-2004, 07:11 AM   #4
elronds_daughter
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HA!! good ones! here's one that wasn't in the movies for a change... (maybe it'll be in the EE...)
Quote:
*at Isengard, as Gandalf confronts Saruman*
Gandalf: Saruman, your staff is broken!
*Saruman's staff does not break*
Gandalf: I said, your staff is BROKEN!!!
Saruman: Sucker!! i ordered an unbreakable staff from the Staffs 'R' Us catalogue, when you pretty much gave up that option when you said you wanted a white staff. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! Evil triumphs once again!!!! oh, by the way, white is so not your color...
Gandalf: D'oh!...*mutters unintelligibly to himself as he bashes Saruman over the head and manages to break his own staff*
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Last edited by elronds_daughter; 06-08-2004 at 07:43 PM.
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Old 06-08-2004, 10:13 PM   #5
Eowyn Skywalker
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How come I never found this thread before????? Sigh.... can't win 'im all... I guess...

Quote:
Gandalf and the Dwarves have climbed to the top of the trees. The goblins prance around singing annoyingly, of course. (Read the Hobbit, peoples!!!)

Gandalf: *lights pinecones on fire* Ha ha. *throws at nearest Warg*

Goblin: We clothe our Wargs in fireproof vests! You have failed, Wizard. Loser!

*Warg lights on fire*

*Gandalf throws at Goblin*

Goblin: Oh crap.

Gandalf: Who's the loser now? Ha!
Okay, not very funny, but I wanted to watch this thread... sigh... the lack of inspiration... not very funny. Sigh.... Can't I just pull out some GARLIC? No, don't answer that, Audriedi. I know what YOU'D say... odd to find you here...

Perky, I loved the post, by the way. Very funny.

-Eowyn Skywalker
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Old 06-09-2004, 12:17 AM   #6
Saraphim
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Why didn't I think of this before?

Quote:
What really happened before the gates of Thangorodrim
Fingolfin: Morgoth Bauglir, come out of your foul abode and fight me in single combat!
Morgoth: *walks out, weilding Grond and looking all menacing and huge*
Fingolfin: *unsheathes Ringil*
*Fighting ensues, yadda yadda*
Morgoth: *goes to slam down Grond, and it gets stuck in the ground*
Fingolfin: Ha! Now you die! *stabs Ringil, which breaks on Morgoth's armor* Er...
Morgoth: I'm about fifty meters to your two. Let's see what happens when we play 'step on the Elven-King'
I love Fingolfin, but there's just so much room for parody in that scene.
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Old 06-09-2004, 05:10 AM   #7
Hama Of The Riddermark
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Quote:
Morgoth: I'm about fifty meters to your two. Let's see what happens when we play 'step on the Elven-King'
Priceless...that had me laughing for ages...
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