ME jokes and funny stories - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Nilpaurion Felagund · 07-16-2004, 10:52 PM

You shouldn't really compliment him. His ego grows quite exponentially.

Hush, Adam. He said "kudos!"

Quote:

The nine ships of the faithful were borne by a giant wave, and are carried to Middle-earth. Elendil, upon landing, said,

"I think I forgot my glasses back in Númenor."

HerenIstarion · 08-05-2004, 01:54 AM

- What is it: Huge, black, hairy, leggy, eats everything?
- It's a huge, black, hairy, leggy all-eating Ungoliant!

alternative answer: Shelob
another alternative: pig

(not the pink one, black one,

)

***

Five steps to become a hero:

First, it is required to kill an elf - one's enemy. As the second step, it is recommended to kill another elf - one's freind this time. Third move is to fall in love with one's close relative, preferably sister, but cousins will do too, and marry them. And, of course, it is essential, as the fourth step, to stab some huge animal of the species on the brink of extinction. But one will not get anywhere unless one commits suicide as the fifth step.

Than one becomes a hero and qualifies for nice epitath on one's grave.

***

more to follow, folks

cheers for now

Nilpaurion Felagund · 08-06-2004, 12:17 AM

There is another step between the second and the third step. It's the step where someone is required to fall in love with the hero, preferrably an Elf. Some variants of horrible death may follow thereafter.

The Perky Ent · 08-06-2004, 12:41 AM

Here's one. It's not the best, but it's the best I can come up with for right now

Elf 1: I love being immortal
Elf 2: Nothing can kill us!
Elf 1: Actually, we can be killed by fire, metal, and a broken heart!
Elf 2: Oh...but that's it right?
Elf 1: Right
Elf 2: Whoo!

(later that day by the mirror of Galadriel)

Elf 2: Guess what Galadriel! Did you know we can't die! Isn't that cool!
Galadriel: You're 8,000 years old, and you just realized that?
Elf 2: Yeah, but we can die by fire, metal, and a broken heart! It's true watch!
(Elf 2 sticks his face in the mirror)
Elf 2: See! I'm not in fire, metal, or am broken hearted! I could do this for days!
Galadriel: Idiot, you're gonna run out of oxygen!
Elf 2: No i wo....*dead*
(Celeborn walks in)
Celeborn: Wow! So we can die of more than fire, metal, and a broken heart!
Galadriel: no, the water had lead poisoning in it!

HerenIstarion · 08-06-2004, 04:54 AM

It was funny, perky, it was

new entries:

***

The Lord of the Rings (a.k.a. Rocky VI) is a movie where a small time boxer Frodo Bilboa gets a once in a lifetime chance to fight the heavyweight champ in a bout in which he strives to go the distance for his self-respect

***

In the FA, Frodo was employed by ork ready-to-wear clothes company to advertise for them

***

One of the greatest chapters in the History of ME deals with deeds and doings of Joan d'Ork

***

cheers

The Perky Ent · 08-06-2004, 10:26 AM

new entry!

Aragorn: Gandalf, we must go back!
Gandalf: No (starts doing some magic against Gandalf)
Saruman: (doing magic) wha-- whoooo! (a gust of wind knocks him off the roof)
Saruman: Ahhh! I'm falling! I'm falling! Oh well, I'll fall into some nice trees! Wait, I cut the trees down! Noo! (Saruman falls into a forge and becomes completly metal)
orc: Are you alright my lord?
Saruman in a robotic voice: I'll be back, Gandalf!

****much later when gandalf comes back to Isengard****

Gandalf: I will take you of your power!
Saruman: Terminate! Terminate! Danger Will Robinson! Terminate!
(Gandalf shoots a magic blast at Saruman)
Saruman: I'll...be...back........in the threequil!

The Perky Ent · 08-08-2004, 06:47 PM

Here's this:

Gimli: Do, I can go to Valinor...right?
Legolas: Of course! Would I lie to you?
Gimli: No. Of course not! I won't bring it up again
Legolas: Good
*at the edge of the world, the boat doesn't cross on*
Gimli: Legolas? You know how I said I wouldn't bring it up?
Legolas: Yeah?
Gimli: I'm gonna take that back now!
Legolas: Ok

08-05-2004, 01:54 AM	#2
HerenIstarion Deadnight Chanter Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 4,244	new new - What is it: Huge, black, hairy, leggy, eats everything? - It's a huge, black, hairy, leggy all-eating Ungoliant! alternative answer: Shelob another alternative: pig (not the pink one, black one, ) * Five steps to become a hero: First, it is required to kill an elf - one's enemy. As the second step, it is recommended to kill another elf - one's freind this time. Third move is to fall in love with one's close relative, preferably sister, but cousins will do too, and marry them. And, of course, it is essential, as the fourth step, to stab some huge animal of the species on the brink of extinction. But one will not get anywhere unless one commits suicide as the fifth step. Than one becomes a hero and qualifies for nice epitath on one's grave. * more to follow, folks cheers for now __________________ Egroeg Ihkhsal - Would you believe in the love at first sight? - Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time!

08-06-2004, 12:17 AM	#3
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,312	Uh, H-I... There is another step between the second and the third step. It's the step where someone is required to fall in love with the hero, preferrably an Elf. Some variants of horrible death may follow thereafter. __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

08-06-2004, 12:41 AM	#4
The Perky Ent Maniacal Mage Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Setting sail for Umbar, with Firefoot at my side! Posts: 3,297	Here's one. It's not the best, but it's the best I can come up with for right now Elf 1: I love being immortal Elf 2: Nothing can kill us! Elf 1: Actually, we can be killed by fire, metal, and a broken heart! Elf 2: Oh...but that's it right? Elf 1: Right Elf 2: Whoo! (later that day by the mirror of Galadriel) Elf 2: Guess what Galadriel! Did you know we can't die! Isn't that cool! Galadriel: You're 8,000 years old, and you just realized that? Elf 2: Yeah, but we can die by fire, metal, and a broken heart! It's true watch! (Elf 2 sticks his face in the mirror) Elf 2: See! I'm not in fire, metal, or am broken hearted! I could do this for days! Galadriel: Idiot, you're gonna run out of oxygen! Elf 2: No i wo....dead (Celeborn walks in) Celeborn: Wow! So we can die of more than fire, metal, and a broken heart! Galadriel: no, the water had lead poisoning in it! __________________ 'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.'

08-06-2004, 04:54 AM	#5
HerenIstarion Deadnight Chanter Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 4,244	It was funny, perky, it was new entries: * The Lord of the Rings (a.k.a. Rocky VI) is a movie where a small time boxer Frodo Bilboa gets a once in a lifetime chance to fight the heavyweight champ in a bout in which he strives to go the distance for his self-respect * In the FA, Frodo was employed by ork ready-to-wear clothes company to advertise for them * One of the greatest chapters in the History of ME deals with deeds and doings of Joan d'Ork * cheers __________________ Egroeg Ihkhsal - Would you believe in the love at first sight? - Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time! Last edited by HerenIstarion; 08-06-2004 at 05:05 AM.

08-06-2004, 10:26 AM	#6
The Perky Ent Maniacal Mage Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Setting sail for Umbar, with Firefoot at my side! Posts: 3,297	new entry! Aragorn: Gandalf, we must go back! Gandalf: No (starts doing some magic against Gandalf) Saruman: (doing magic) wha-- whoooo! (a gust of wind knocks him off the roof) Saruman: Ahhh! I'm falling! I'm falling! Oh well, I'll fall into some nice trees! Wait, I cut the trees down! Noo! (Saruman falls into a forge and becomes completly metal) orc: Are you alright my lord? Saruman in a robotic voice: I'll be back, Gandalf! **much later when gandalf comes back to Isengard** Gandalf: I will take you of your power! Saruman: Terminate! Terminate! Danger Will Robinson! Terminate! (Gandalf shoots a magic blast at Saruman) Saruman: I'll...be...back........in the threequil! __________________ 'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.'

08-08-2004, 06:47 PM	#7
The Perky Ent Maniacal Mage Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Setting sail for Umbar, with Firefoot at my side! Posts: 3,297	Here's this: Gimli: Do, I can go to Valinor...right? Legolas: Of course! Would I lie to you? Gimli: No. Of course not! I won't bring it up again Legolas: Good at the edge of the world, the boat doesn't cross on Gimli: Legolas? You know how I said I wouldn't bring it up? Legolas: Yeah? Gimli: I'm gonna take that back now! Legolas: Ok __________________ 'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.'