Defective Weapons Inc.

[Nimrothiel]

*Gandalf is cornered in Orthanc by Saruman, but suddenly his staff begins to hum and pulse with a vibrant green color. *

Saruman: "What the..."

Gandalf: "You'd be amazed what you can find on E-bay these days."

*Gandalf executes some moves that would put even Episode II Yoda to shame, and slices Saruman's staff into three pieces and the bottom half of his robe off; revealing heart-patterned boxers and blue-veined legs*

Saruman: "Well, ****e on me."

*Gandalf then forces Saruman to parade around Orthanc in his boxers whilst singing "They're Coming to Take Me Away;" needless to say, his followers desert him after a round of laughter. Thus much of the Fellowship's trouble is reduced, and Frodo makes it to Mount Doom in record time.*