Defective Weapons Inc.

[Elven Hunter]

Not exactly a weapon

(Saruman speaking to the Palantir..)
Saruman: Lord Sau-
(Sauron interrupts..)
Sauron: Sorry, I'm not at home right now, if you have anything to say please leave a message after the beep.. toooooooooooooot..
(Saruman covers the Palantir..)
Saruman: Oh darn. Next time I'll ask for his cell number.

here's another one

(Frodo with others in the mines of Moria.. their torch burns out.. Orcs closing in.. Frodo's sword glows..)
Frodo: It's pretty dark in here. Good thing I have this sword.
(sword flickers and its light goes out)
Frodo: Aww men.. Gandalf, do you have spare batteries?
Gandalf: Sori pal, I'm using it for my staff.