Defective Weapons Inc. - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Witch-King · 08-02-2004, 03:50 AM

Quote:

*Sarumon gazes into his Palantir, but sees nothing.*

"What in Middle-Earth?"

*He shakes it, and slowly the blackness lifts to reveal...a holiday snowglobe!*

"Down to the depths with you!!!"

*Tosses snowglobe out the window.*

*Witch-King appears*

WK: "You reject Sauron's gift??!!! Then you shall die!"

*Attacks Sarumon, who severs the Witch-King's arm with his staff through a spell*

Sarumon: "There, now leave me be."

WK: "Tis but a scratch, sir."

Sarumon: "A scratch?! Your arm's off!"

WK: "No it isn't!"

Sarumon pointing to severed arm: "Well what do you call that then?"

WK: "I've had worse."

Sarumon: "You lie!"

WK: "Comeon you pansy!"

*Sarumon severs WK's other arm*

Sarumon: "There, now leave me be..."

*WK kicks Sarumon*

WK: "Come on then!"

Sarumon: "Look you bloody bastard you've got no arms left!"

WK: "Yes I have."

Sarumon: "LOOK!"

WK: "Just a flesh wound."

Sarumon: "Look I'll have your leg. Right!"

*Sarumon cuts off one of WK's legs*

WK: "I'll do you for that!"

Sarumon: "You'll what?"

WK: "Come here!"

Sarumon: "What are you gonna do, bleed on me?"

WK: "The Witch-King always triumphs! Have at you! I'm invincible!!"

Sarumon: "You're a looney!"

*Sarumon cuts off WK's other leg. He is now just a torso.*

WK: "Alright, we'll call it a draw."

*Sarumon heads for the stairs*

WK: "Oh I see! Running away, eh? You yellow bastard! Come back here and fight me! I'll bite your legs off!"

Monty Python rules!

The Perky Ent · 08-05-2004, 05:53 PM

Yes, Monty Python Rules!

Quote:

Beren: Yes! I got the simaril! Now I can marry Luthien!
Carcharoth: Not if I can help it!
(tries to bite Beren's hand, but breaks death on Beren's hand)
Carcharoth: My teeth!
Beren: I knew that Boflex would pay off!

Mithalwen · 08-07-2004, 01:20 PM

Sorry this is a film one....but since it didn't happen in the book.... wouldn't you just have loved it if Arwen's hand had slipped when she did that "what's this a ranger of the north caught of his guard" thinf... oh %^&*% ...... Aragorn darling ..are you alright?"

Eriador Evening Post

Arwen, daughter of Lord Elrond of Imladris was being questioned last night in connection with the death of her Fiance, Aragorn, Chieftain of the Dunedain and Isildur's heir. Miss Undomiel claims that Mr Telcontar , who was found with his throat slit died as result of a joke that went horribly wrong. The authorities are reopening the investigation into the death of Mr Telcontar's father who was killed in the company of Miss Undomiel's brothers many years ago. .....

The Perky Ent · 08-14-2004, 04:04 PM

Good one

Reminds me of the Last Ride...

Saraphim · 08-14-2004, 08:14 PM

Ha! Yes. I can see it now...

Quote:

*In Carn Dum*
Arathorn: Alright...now. You elves go up to the tower, and I'll take the other Dunadain down to the dungeons.
*men leave*

Elrohir: Ugh, Men! Go up here, do this, do that!
Elladan: It just never ends. It's not like we knew his great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather or anything.
Elrohir: Well, it he wants us in the tower, let's go!

*elves aproach a balcony and see men below Elrohir "slips" and sends a large rock down onto Arathorn's head. In his concussed state, he can't dodge the arrow that hits him in the eye, killing him*

I've got a sick sense of humor sometimes...

The Perky Ent · 08-14-2004, 10:41 PM

When elves go bad...

Mithalwen · 08-16-2004, 11:22 AM

..A sick sense of humour can be a positive thing...

and while they are perhaps the cutest of all cute elf boys ( I tend to assume the mortal blood might make them slightly hunkier and less androgenous looking) I can't help thinking that there is something a little sinster about them ........ I mean they should have got over that dressing alike thing a few millenia ago and however devoted they were to their mother perhaps they sould have other hobbies apart from killing orcs ..... ? I just think of the Krays..... then I thought I read somewhere that Arathorn's pa also died when out with them ....... but maybe that was a mistake.... and why isn't Elrond at all bothered that they want to stay in Middle Earth? May be he was nervous .... no scope for realms of their own ...... maybe he feared an accident..!!!!!

08-07-2004, 01:20 PM	#3
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,460	Sorry this is a film one....but since it didn't happen in the book.... wouldn't you just have loved it if Arwen's hand had slipped when she did that "what's this a ranger of the north caught of his guard" thinf... oh %^&*% ...... Aragorn darling ..are you alright?" Eriador Evening Post Arwen, daughter of Lord Elrond of Imladris was being questioned last night in connection with the death of her Fiance, Aragorn, Chieftain of the Dunedain and Isildur's heir. Miss Undomiel claims that Mr Telcontar , who was found with his throat slit died as result of a joke that went horribly wrong. The authorities are reopening the investigation into the death of Mr Telcontar's father who was killed in the company of Miss Undomiel's brothers many years ago. ..... __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

08-14-2004, 04:04 PM	#4
The Perky Ent Maniacal Mage Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Setting sail for Umbar, with Firefoot at my side! Posts: 3,297	Good one Reminds me of the Last Ride... __________________ 'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.'

08-14-2004, 10:41 PM	#6
The Perky Ent Maniacal Mage Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Setting sail for Umbar, with Firefoot at my side! Posts: 3,297	When elves go bad... __________________ 'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.'

08-16-2004, 11:22 AM	#7
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,460	..A sick sense of humour can be a positive thing... and while they are perhaps the cutest of all cute elf boys ( I tend to assume the mortal blood might make them slightly hunkier and less androgenous looking) I can't help thinking that there is something a little sinster about them ........ I mean they should have got over that dressing alike thing a few millenia ago and however devoted they were to their mother perhaps they sould have other hobbies apart from killing orcs ..... ? I just think of the Krays..... then I thought I read somewhere that Arathorn's pa also died when out with them ....... but maybe that was a mistake.... and why isn't Elrond at all bothered that they want to stay in Middle Earth? May be he was nervous .... no scope for realms of their own ...... maybe he feared an accident..!!!!! __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace