A Little Somethin' Somethin' Just For You

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

You shall love me because I shall provide you with all the supplies you need!

Oh, the joys of corruption...
Well, I guess you can then provide me a new Bible since I'm A Good Christian Barrowdowner!

Part of the attraction of Tolkien for you is that it's "good, clean fun."

Since when has killing and fighting become either of those above (especially clean fun...)? I think it's rather messy