Why their were no women in the fellowship

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by Encaitare

Although Middle-earth has a full share of strong women, they are generally not warriors (Eowyn being the exception). Since the Fellowship was supposed to be kept small, it would have been impossible to take along someone who wasn't able to give their all to the Quest or prove the most useful.

Oh I don't know. A female member of the Fellowship would have been very useful when it came to cooking and washing travel-stained clothes. They would have been well advised to keep the map away from her, though.

*Ducks flying rolling-pins and assorted culinary equipment*

[Mithalwen]

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man

Oh I don't know. A female member of the Fellowship would have been very useful when it came to cooking and washing travel-stained clothes. They would have been well advised to keep the map away from her, though.

*Ducks flying rolling-pins and assorted culinary equipment*

Culinary equipment? Many of us long ago gave up believing that the quickest route to a man's heart is through his stomach - straight through the ribs with a very sharp knife (and I am thinking of daggers rather than Sabatiers)is much more direct. Maybe the attraction of Aragorn for Arwen was the fact that here clearly is a man who would be undemanding in the housework department - largely because he lived in a hedge for preference. Possibly nature compensated Elves for their powerful senses of sight and hearing by leaving them seriously deficient in the olofactory department.

As for those of my own gender who claim that women didn't go on the quest because they menstruate - well you clearly didn't have the same variety of PE teachers as I did. Those slightly butch hags would insist that lots of fresh air and exercise were just the thing ... ok so my own approach favours hotwater bottles, and ibuprofen and alcohol - but it is a bit of a wimp-out. Just tough it out - I bet Eowyn wouldn't have not joined the ride of the Rohirrim because it was a bad time of the month. Anyway I am sure that elf women don't get cramps - I mean they wouldn't would they? They would be like the happy, smiley females in Tampax commercials - not as normal women who are more interested in finding someone whose throat they can rip out, than skateboarding.

But the real reason there were no women is because they would have got fed up with the typically male procedure for organising the quest (cf Judith in "The Life of Brian who so unreasonably wants them to do something about Brian immediately - since he is being crucified NOW- without all the committee meetings, discussions, resolutions and planning). They would have taken about 5 minutes to realise the only and obvious course of action, packed, arranged for someone to feed the cats, and gone. None of that two months of recce and faffing around and waiting for winter to get really nasty and making a couple of bods half way there in advance - female logic would have sent Frodo as excess baggage with Elladan and Elrohir...since they were going that way.....

[Lalwendë]

Oh I don't know. A female member of the Fellowship would have been very useful when it came to cooking and washing travel-stained clothes. They would have been well advised to keep the map away from her, though.

Grrr, I've risen to that particular bait...I've yet to meet a man who can read a map better than I can. I am a self-confessed map-nerd. Although I learned a long time ago never to criticise a man's map-reading, and just to keep smugly quiet while he chooses to go the wrong way...that's if he gets a chance to drive. I'm a decent cook though, I'll give you that.

Mithalwen - I reckon Aragorn would be quite well domesticated myself. All those years out in the wild having to take care of his own cooking and mending, being self-sufficient; I find a lot of ex-military men are surprisingly domestic. He'd surely be the one more inclined to do any work, I can't see Arwen doing much beyond a spot of light embroidery. I have a vision of Arwen lifting her feet in the air while Aragorn hoovers the carpet around her, "Don't move my love, I'll be done hoovering soon and then I'll get a cuppa on".

I bet Eowyn wouldn't have not joined the ride of the Rohirrim because it was a bad time of the month.

Perhaps the reason Eowyn joined the riders was because it was a bad time of the month?

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

Grrr, I've risen to that particular bait...

Excellent! Then I shall continue ...

*Faramir and Eowyn are sitting at the front of a cart on their way to visit Merry and Pippin in the Shire. Faramir is holding the reigns and Eowyn is holding the map. The kids are in the back, fighting.*

Faramir: There's the sign to Archet again. Didn't we pass that half an hour ago?

Eowyn: I don't think so. Um, take the next right.

Elboron: Are we there yet?

Faramir and Eowyn: For the fiftieth time, NO!

Faramir: Look, are you sure you know where we are?

Eowyn: Yes, right here, next to the bubbly thing.

Faramir: *Looks at map* That's Chetwood ... Doh! You're holding it upside down.

Eowyn: It's easier to read that way. Hey, why don't you ask this Hobbit the way?

Faramir: I am not asking for directions!

Elboron: Are we there yet?

etc

*Saucepan gazes at the non-plussed stares of those around him*

Er ... this is the Mirth forum ... right?

[Kransha]

Non-plussed, Herr Saucepan? I prefer "adoring" or perhaps, "idolizing," honestly.

I, a humble member of the fouler sex, lament my ineptitude relating to the fairer. I have dear, dear relationships to many of the species, and yet I remain in the dark. Even now, that I am in the final stretch of hammering down a permanent relationship, I am still, as said, utterly inept. The gender is e'er mysterious, and I fear my own male, boorish, imasculate entourage may never fully understand their intricacies. But, that's all beside the point. I ramble. Mea culpa, as they say.

If there had been women in the Fellowship, I believe many things would be different. But, I must discuss another plausibility (not possibility, plausibility).

Is it not obvious, comrades? There was a woman in the Fellowship.

Gimli, Son of Glóin.

In the cinematic version of The Two Towers, he clearly states that Dwarven women are (read: may or may not) be bearded. Gimli is bearded, and talked of as a 'Son of Gloin' but where is the proof that the manly Dwarf is, in fact, a man? Let's be honest and totally Frank [Sinatra]. There is no proof. The title 'Son of Glóin' has been misinterpreted over the years. A series of lingual flukes, thought of as coincidence, have been disregarded, diverting the true meaning of the title often added to Gimli's name. Gimli is a name taken for granted, and it's meaning oft forgotten, but there are 3 distinct clues as to why Gimli was called the "Son of Glóin."

-Gimli's name meaning is finally revealed in Tolkien Letter 297, dated 1967. Tolkien states that Gimli is a Mannish name, derived from a Nordic tongue. It means 'Fire.'
-In Norse myths, the name Gimli is applied to a Hall in the land of Asgard where great warriors were laid after death. The clue here is that the Hall of Gimli is noted, in the Eddas (I believe) as being 'golden-roofed.'
-In the old lingo of Adûnaic, Gimli can be traced to Gimilkhâd. In the name Gimilkhâd, Gimil means "Star." Thus Gimli can be translated as 'Star.'

So, three clues: Fire, Golden, and Star. Isn't there something all of these words relate to? Some object that bears all three terms? Why, yes, there is. What is golden, fiery, and a Star? Isn't it obvious? THE SUN. So, the title "Son of Gloin," really referred to Gimli's name, not his sex. He was the "Sun of Gloin." But, if you can believe it, there's MORE. Who was the Middle-Earth Spirit of the Sun? It was the Sun-Maiden, a Maia of Vána, Arien: A woman. Strange, is it not, that ol' Gloin would give his "son" a feminine name? Well, it isn't strange, if that "son" was really a daughter.

Gimli, Sun of Gloin was a woman, the only woman in the Fellowship. This explains her masculine overcompensation, trying to just be 'one of the guys.' This also explains why she went on to become the Lady of Aglarond. Unlike her male Dwarven counterparts, she was fascinated by jewelery, and thus founded Middle-Earth's first Jewelery Store in the Glittering Caves. This ALSO explains her desire to have a golden hair from the head of Galadriel. She wanted to know what hair-care products the Elven Ringbearer was using that kept her hair so strait, shimmery, and minty fresh *cough*. Last, but certainly not least, this explains Gimli's relationship with Legolas. They weren't just friends, they were goin' steady. Why else would a Dwarf and an Elf spend 120 years together and sail into the sunset together?

So, in conclusion, I really need to start taking those pills again.

[Encaitare]

Hee hee, very nice! Why didn't I see it before??

The creepy thing is I brought this up with a few friends today (although not nearly as eloquently and with none of the etymology), and we decided that it was quite possible that Gimli was a woman...

I knew Legolas and Gimli were an item! I knew it!

[Tuor of Gondolin]

But what is Kransha implying about Gimli's attraction to Galadriel?

Anyway, I'm still waiting for a mud wrestling contest in the extended dvd
between Eowyn and XenaArwen (of the FOTR movie) over Aragorn.
Loser gets Faramir as a nice consolation prize.