If LotR had been written by someone else!?

[Kuruharan]

Caesar’s De Bello Hobbito

The Hobbits are a whole divided into three parts, the Stoors, the Harfoots, and the Fallowhides, though we call them all Shorties. All these have practically the same languages, customs and laws. The Stoors dwell primarily in the South and West, the Harfoots and Fallowhides dwell everywhere else. The Hobbits are divided from each other by their innate suspicion of anyone who dwells more than five miles away. The Fallowhides are the leaders of these peoples, being more adventuresome they are also more apt to vanish without warning into the Blue. This last trait is considered most alarming by the Hobbits as it tends to take one more than five miles away from home. Those Hobbits dwelling in the area known as Buckland are braver than the rest of the Hobbits because of the nearness of the Old Forest, into which they will occasionally sally forth to engage in some deforestation.
….
The foremost Hobbit of the Marish, in rank and wealth, was Gorhendad Oldbuck. In the consulship of Marcus Messala and Marcus Piso (more or less) he was induced by the extreme dreariness of his habitat (and an impulse to chop lumber) to move across the Brandwine River and set up his own little kingdom. He changed his name to Brandybuck to confuse the authorities and granted himself the title “Master of Brandy Hall” without the permission of the Senate and Roman People. This was the foundation of Buckland.