Eöl

[the phantom]

definitely suggests that it wasn't what Aredhel wanted

I'm not sure I agree with that. For one thing, Aredhel seems like the type that does what she wants, so I doubt she'd marry Eol if she didn't want to.

And when she told her son stories about the Noldor-

In the telling of these tales there was awakened in Aredhel a desire to see her own kin again...

Notice that it "awakened" the desire, meaning that the desire had been asleep previously. Until that time she did not want to leave. For a while she was content to wander with Eol "far together under the stars or by the light of the sickle moon". I don't think Tolkien threw in that pleasant sentence just for the fun of it, and the way he used the word "together" also makes me think the situation was to Aredhel's liking.

I think that when she married Eol, she wanted to, but then later grew weary of the life she had chosen.

Just like in Gondolin.