A Downer Dinner Party

[Encaitare]

Well, with a ten person limit I certainly would have to have more than one dinner party! They'd have to be for different reasons, too... humorous parties, serious parties, a poetry reading party, a party at which I invite davem, Fordim, and Sauce and just let them talk while I scribble furiously on a notepad .... but I digress. Here's what my first one would look like.

Going clockwise around the table...

1. Me, your gracious hostess, at the head of the table.

2. Fea, a great and very funny person, would sit to my left. We'd discuss art and then share some pictures after dessert.

3. Elrond would have to sit nearby, and share with us some of his wisdom. We'd keep things from getting too dry by convincing him to let Fea and I wear his tiara -- whoops, I mean circlet.

4. Keeping to boy/girl/boy/girl pattern, I would then seat Child of the Seventh Age. She seems like a wise woman to me, with whom we could certainly have some deep conversations.

5. Meriadoc Brandybuck, a charming and intelligent little fellow, would be next. I'd like him to come because everyone needs a hobbit around to add some cheer.

6. Next, THE Ka. And she's not just any Ka, mind you. We'd discuss mystical things and compare star charts.

7. Grima would have to attend, because I have a feeling he never gets invited to any good parties. Being a blonde, Nordic-looking female, however, I would not place him too close to myself. Later I'd get him a couch to lie on, don some glasses, and ask him age-old questions such as, "Did you really love Eowyn? Or was it just, you know, physical attraction?"

8. The Saucepan Man would be the next seated, disrupting the alternate male/female placing, but also providing protection from any villainy Master Wormtongue may have planned. Any fast moves and Sauce could wallop him on the head with a pan -- not too hard, though! Sauce and the next guest would certainly drum up some interesting conversation...

9. Fordim, a scholarly gent with a humorous streak, would add both wonderful attributes to the discussions.

10. Maglor would sit to my right; we would discuss music and probably bore the pants off of everyone. Perhaps he'd perform for us later in the evening.

As for the food... ehh, I'm not much of a cook -- hope you guys like White Castle! I'll make some cakes, though, for dessert...

[Boromir88]

Mith you know what you're talking about, my fireworks are definately superior to that of the old wizards.

A trully mirthful thread Fordhim, now onto the party.

As for the guests:
(going from right to left around the round table).

Me: Of course.

Chris Lee: Next to me, I could spend the whole night talking to this guy about Tolkien, and how was his experience with him.

Next to Lee, Pippin, what party wouldn't be complete without the entertainment?

Next to Pippin, Sapphy, I just imagine that those two would get a long very well. They might be able to put on a stand up comedy performance later in the evening.

Next to Sapphy, Boromir, I have to have a personal bouncer to throw out any whackos. You never know what can happen with this wide range of people. Plus, I'm interested in bringing back da Disco.

Next to him, and completely across from me, Encaitare. For the reason, see the next one.

Next to Enca, her best buddy! Gothmog! I can't wait to see how them to get a long.

Next to Gothmog, Denethor. Party won't be fully complete without a raving lunatic talking about the end of the world while spitting chewed up cherries across the table in Sapphy's face. Poor sapphy.

Next to Denny, Lalwende. The special guest for the evening, to give a lecture on custards and the breaking of light.

Last but not least, the person to the left of me Mith. So, I can explain to her the concept of football, and why I hate Lloyd Carr so much.

Forget the normal steak and chicken, we are keeping to the theme at my party. Let's eat middle-earth style, compliments to our chef Samwise Gamgee.

First the table has their own Lembas basket, to get everything started off. Problem is, you take one bite, you're full for the evening.

Appetizers: Frodo Fingers- I know the menu says you get 10, but for some reason it only comes with 9. Or....The One Ring bloom of onion- The problem with this is we only have one in stock, and the person who is lucky enough to get it won't share it with anyone, and his greed for more begins to consume him, but problem is there's only one. Then you must go on a long quest to the supermarket and pick up maalox max to clear out the horrible heartburn.

Soups and Salads: Lothlorien Salad- The salad leaves are mallorn leaves fit with our special dressing from the oils of Galadriel's hair herself. A tasty treat indeed. Dead Marshes soup- a foggy, nasty looking thing, and if you stare into the little lights you'll light candles of your own.

Main course: Saruman fillet- A fine cut of meat from Saruman's scrappings after falling to a slicy death. You also get a side of Grima's wormtongue. Gollum Dinner- You get yourself some nice raw fish and coney, with a side of gollum nuggets.

Deserts: Caradhras blast- A tasty ice cream sundae so cold people have even frozen to death. Mincemeat pie- just because it's so nasty no one would want to eat.

Drinks: Rivendell Coffee- Elrond tends to slip in some ex-lax in his coffee. He's just always so angry sometimes the build up is too much. Miruvor.

I know the guests are salivating over the dinner for the evening, so come with an empty stomach . (Sorry if I grossed people out)

[Encaitare]

Ah, Boromir, I must remember to come back and rep that post as soon as I can... *wipes eyes*

If I was really seated next to Gothmog... I think I'd prod his arm-tumor-growth thing with a fork. A lot.

[THE Ka]

6. Next, THE Ka. And she's not just any Ka, mind you. We'd discuss mystical things and compare star charts.

Ah! Lovely! Thank you! I wouldn't mind holding the stars at gunpoint for you ...Er, I mean... They never do stay in one position for any reasonable time, that First House is a fast one!

Thank you,

~ Astro Ka~

[elronds_daughter]

Well, this seems like much fun! I must get in on this....


As for invitees ('Downers in bold):

1) The Barrow-Wight, because he is all-powerful. To not invite him would be a dire sin, and invoke his wrath.

2) Eowyn, because she is my hero. Need I say any more?

3) Sapphy, for what party is complete without her?

4) Merry, so he and Eowyn could collaborate on showing me their famous Nazgul-slaying technique.

5) Boromirr88, to collaborate with Sapphy on livening up the party.

6) Aragorn, because, after all, why not?

7) Faramir, because, after all, why not?

8) Feanor of the Peredhil, because she's just cool.

9) the phantom, because where Fea goes, he will follow, so why not just invite him?

10) And last, of course, myself.

<Sorry, Fordim, I got a bit out of proportion!>



As for menu, I'd just have Bilbo cater it, since he cooks better than he cooks, if you know what I mean.

[Boromir88]

Thank yee Elrond, I love parties!

You know, my first party seemed more enjoyable, had some comedy, had some dancing, a lot of friendly conversations. I think my 2nd party I'm going to liven it up a bit, get the invitees paired up with a certain person to really add a bit of spice .

(The order will go from right to left, as before, notice who I have my guests sitting next to.) :devil smiley:

1) Me- again.

2) Eowyn, since she's pretty. Note: I invited Faramir too but for some reason Eowyn didn't let him come (for the reason you'll have to see the following guests).

3) Aragorn

4) Arwen- Oh man, this should get good. Aragorn will have his hands full tonight.

5) Lalwende- You know, I decided to invite her back because she's not in her true, full personality without the guest she is sitting next too. P.S. Lal, bring the spiders.

6) Davem- Davem, bring your reputation jewels, we're settling it tonight.

7) Elrond- just sits and mutters how stupid and weak everyone is.

8) SpM- (reason below)

9) Turin- Think I don't see these two arguing a lot. Instead of the classic battle of good vs. evil, its Moviest vs. purist.

Note: I'm not paired up with anyone since I happen to like everyone. :angel smiley:

Edit: Special guests for the evening will be Mith, SpM, and Fordhim to endlessly debate...the many debatable topics (as well as the controversial Aragorn). I can see this one getting violent.

I know you will all be pleased to hear, the dinner is staying the same as the first party, only thing, one addition:

Mirkwood Salad- Some nice wilted lettuce topped with this dark black dressing. You might find the occasional spider leg in there too, try to pick em out they tend to get stuck in your teeth.

[Bêthberry]

Oh, you, Fordim Hedgethistle! Just when I am most confusticated and bebothered with real life dinner parties you suggest one here! However, as I am want to celebrate all the twelve days of Christmas, up to and including the Orthodox calendar celebration, I think I am but merely fashionably late. (Oh, do I use that line too often?) So, for this time, I shall not call fie and indigestion upon our gracious host, Fordim. Or is he more like an Innkeeper here, overseeing many various guests and parties?

Well I recall this particular parlour game, although I tended a bit mischievously to mix the likes of Laurence Sterne and Henry Fielding with, say, Ann Radcliffe and Jane Austen, or Mary Wollstonecraft and Elizabeth Browning. I thank you for your gracious invitation to myself, Fordim, and promise in a later party to include you in a manner more fitting for your interests. For now, here is my first party:

A dark and dingy cellar deep in the back streets of Dale, long before the Desolation of Smaug. Conspirators meet, perhaps with an aim of mounting eventually an expedition to The Shire in hopes of purloining needed aid against the Were-Worm. Oil lanterns light the scene half-heartedly and a small stone fireplace casts some heat. Walls are black with soot and smoke lingers in the air. This will likely prove an uproarious repast and so don?t expect impeccable manners, for hysterical furore oft generates energetic rumpus. It?s that kind of party for that kind of age. Needless to say, no elves.

The daughter of Tom and Goldberry sits quietly opposite Squatter of Amon Rùdh, who generously gesticulates his many points, especially when they are contested by Kuruharan, who sits to Bethberry's right and equally pontificates his own queries and questions. Both of these Downer dwarves, however, are often silenced by the argumentative scrappings of those paragons of domestic bliss, Aulë and Yavanna, who sit across from each other, one to Bethberry's left and the other to Squatter's right. A smug look of satisfaction can be seen to cross his face whenever the couple become particularly cantankerous. Who's afraid of the Valar wolves?

Beside Aulë sits Dis, that most mysterious of dwarven kind, whose reaction to the rough and tumble of the discourse could well cement the future fate of females of her kind. Beside Yavanna sits Bullroarer Baggins, a mighty giant of his kind and well able to hold his own against this fractious fellowship.

We are lucky to have with us more peacemakers than just the Bombadil daughter. Estelyn sits at the left of Squatter, knowing him perhaps the best of all the present company and able to punctuate his wit with cryptic observations of her own. It is from this meal and this cabal that she learns so ably how to egg both Squatter and Kuruharan on in the REB stakes.

Beorn sits opposite Bullroarer while the legendary burrahobbit rounds out the table with the requisite corrections of all errors in thought and legendarium which might proceed from the clash of opinion. Sometimes, just sometimes now mind you, he wishes Obloquy were present.

And of what shall the conspirators partake? Well, a secret meeting cannot be picky about its victuals or potables. Plain faire it shall be. Fowl pie of some sort and blood sausage. Fish chowder. Neeps and greens and carrots. Heavy, dark rye bread or eight grain, served with butter and gooseberry jam. Poached eggs on beds of spinach and mushrooms. Steamed puddings and raspberry tarts. There shall be porter and dark ale to drink, mead and cider for those wishing something sweeter. And some time towards the end of the affair, coffee, if they are not interrupted and forced to see their plans come together as they fight off yet another incursion of Smaug. You might say they are my ?A dinner team.?