If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would.... - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Rimbaud · 03-09-2005, 03:36 AM

Start a business manufacturing orcish products. They'd be happy little consumers in no time, and I would become bloated and wealthy. It's the Gondorian dream.

Lalwendë · 03-09-2005, 07:17 AM

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....

Sigh resignedly and dig deep into my pockets as I paid for 200,000 cotton tea-towels, before signing 200,000 sponsored walk pledge sheets and saying 200,000 times "No, I don't want anything from the Avon book, thank you" before closing the door and collapsing into an exhausted heap.

Meneltarmacil · 03-09-2005, 07:51 AM

I'd threaten to give them all a bath. That would probably be sufficient to frighten them off.

However, there don't really seem to be a lot of realistic options here other than "Die".

Lolidir · 03-09-2005, 07:52 AM

If I were to find 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would most likely run into my room and get my fighting knives (the ones that are like Legolas' but they are because they are mine), which i had just purchaced some where becaue i want them so bad, i would then proceed to call my friend who has Anduril. he would come over and we would both fight bravely and would most likely be over run and have to retreat not into the Hornburg mainly because i dont have one, but into first my kitchen to grab a bite to eat and replenish our strength and then into the bathroom as it is the smallest place and it would be hard for like 200,000 orcs to fit in there so we would have more of a chance. After fighting for a long time we would eventually show that we are so skilled in fighting and that the orcs dont have a chance, so the remaining ones would run away. my friend and i would choose not to pursue them on account that we just fought off like 170,000 or so orcs.

Beanamir of Gondor · 03-09-2005, 07:53 AM

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front doorstep, I would...

...invite them in for tea and then drug them with multiple Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters. Then I would hide them in my basement, chained to the walls, and when I didn't like my dinner I would throw it to them. Nyay.

Bêthberry · 03-09-2005, 08:38 AM

Demonstrate the delights of shield-boarding down my steps.

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 03-09-2005, 08:52 AM

Find some hemlock.

TomBrady12 · 03-09-2005, 08:58 AM

Put on some ultra strong ear muffs and crank up the Dixie Chicks...gotta watch out for friendly fire though

TB12

Formendacil · 03-09-2005, 09:59 AM

200,000 orks is a disaster waiting to happen. All that I need to effect it is a few costumes, a little bit of wit, and a nuclear bomb shelter.

To start off, when I find 200,000 orks on my doorstep, my first move is to don my generic-ork costume, slap on a silvery S-rune, and go visit the Isengarders. There, I spread the rumour that the Moria-orks prefere the command of the Mordor-orks to the Isengarders.

Before things get too hot there, I switch emblems, and go visit the orks of Lugburz, and discreetly whisper that the Isengarders plan to let the Mordor-orks lead the charge, and get slaughtered, so that they can feast on Mordor-ork-flesh.

Then I scrap all emblems, and dash over to the Misty Mountain goblin camp, and inform them that the Mordor orks have killed Blub, the illegitimate son of Bolg and the Great Goblin. Without stopping to see their reactions, I run over to my bomb shelter, and await the explosion.

Three hours, twenty-six minutes later, I emerge, having shaved, washed, and put on perfume and Elf-clothes. I brandish my bow and sword and do my best Elf-warrior impersonation. If the two-and-a-half remaining orks don't flee in terror, they'll probably die of laughter.

03-09-2005, 03:36 AM	#1
Rimbaud The Perilous Poet Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Heart of the matter Posts: 1,062	Start a business manufacturing orcish products. They'd be happy little consumers in no time, and I would become bloated and wealthy. It's the Gondorian dream. __________________ And all the rest is literature

03-09-2005, 07:17 AM	#2
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would.... Sigh resignedly and dig deep into my pockets as I paid for 200,000 cotton tea-towels, before signing 200,000 sponsored walk pledge sheets and saying 200,000 times "No, I don't want anything from the Avon book, thank you" before closing the door and collapsing into an exhausted heap. __________________ Gordon's alive!

03-09-2005, 07:51 AM	#3
Meneltarmacil Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: The bottom of the ocean, discussing philosophy with a giant squid Posts: 2,254	I'd threaten to give them all a bath. That would probably be sufficient to frighten them off. However, there don't really seem to be a lot of realistic options here other than "Die". __________________ I ♣ baby seals.

03-09-2005, 07:52 AM	#4
Lolidir Wight Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Roaming the plains of Middle Earth Posts: 103	If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would.... If I were to find 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would most likely run into my room and get my fighting knives (the ones that are like Legolas' but they are because they are mine), which i had just purchaced some where becaue i want them so bad, i would then proceed to call my friend who has Anduril. he would come over and we would both fight bravely and would most likely be over run and have to retreat not into the Hornburg mainly because i dont have one, but into first my kitchen to grab a bite to eat and replenish our strength and then into the bathroom as it is the smallest place and it would be hard for like 200,000 orcs to fit in there so we would have more of a chance. After fighting for a long time we would eventually show that we are so skilled in fighting and that the orcs dont have a chance, so the remaining ones would run away. my friend and i would choose not to pursue them on account that we just fought off like 170,000 or so orcs. __________________ "Its a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to"

03-09-2005, 07:53 AM	#5
Beanamir of Gondor Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: the Shadow Gallery Posts: 276	If I found 200,000 orcs on my front doorstep, I would... ...invite them in for tea and then drug them with multiple Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters. Then I would hide them in my basement, chained to the walls, and when I didn't like my dinner I would throw it to them. Nyay. __________________ The answer to life is no longer 42. It's 4 8 15 16 23... 42. "I only lent you my body; you lent me your dream."

03-09-2005, 08:38 AM	#6
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 6,003	Demonstrate the delights of shield-boarding down my steps. __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.

03-09-2005, 08:52 AM	#7
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Find some hemlock. __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

03-09-2005, 08:58 AM	#8
TomBrady12 Haunting Spirit Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Red Sox Nation Posts: 69	Put on some ultra strong ear muffs and crank up the Dixie Chicks...gotta watch out for friendly fire though TB12

03-09-2005, 09:59 AM	#9
Formendacil Dead Serious Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Perched on Thangorodrim's towers. Posts: 3,328	200,000 orks, eh? 200,000 orks is a disaster waiting to happen. All that I need to effect it is a few costumes, a little bit of wit, and a nuclear bomb shelter. To start off, when I find 200,000 orks on my doorstep, my first move is to don my generic-ork costume, slap on a silvery S-rune, and go visit the Isengarders. There, I spread the rumour that the Moria-orks prefere the command of the Mordor-orks to the Isengarders. Before things get too hot there, I switch emblems, and go visit the orks of Lugburz, and discreetly whisper that the Isengarders plan to let the Mordor-orks lead the charge, and get slaughtered, so that they can feast on Mordor-ork-flesh. Then I scrap all emblems, and dash over to the Misty Mountain goblin camp, and inform them that the Mordor orks have killed Blub, the illegitimate son of Bolg and the Great Goblin. Without stopping to see their reactions, I run over to my bomb shelter, and await the explosion. Three hours, twenty-six minutes later, I emerge, having shaved, washed, and put on perfume and Elf-clothes. I brandish my bow and sword and do my best Elf-warrior impersonation. If the two-and-a-half remaining orks don't flee in terror, they'll probably die of laughter. __________________ I prefer history, true or feigned.