If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would.... - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Lalwendë · 03-11-2005, 03:14 PM

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....

...Wonder what I'd had to drink last night.

Nilpaurion Felagund · 03-13-2005, 07:17 PM

See how they'd react to "knock-knock" jokes.

Quote:

Me: Knock knock?

200,000 Orcs: Who's there?

Me: 200,000 Orcs.

200,000: 200,000 Orcs who?

Me: I dunno. I was hoping you knew the answer to that one.

Gurthang · 03-13-2005, 08:06 PM

Tell them that they had the wrong house. Frodo lives on the next block.

AND

Wonder how I could count 200,000 orcs so quickly.

OR

Go find a full sized mirror and scare them with the reflection of 200,000 orcs.

Hama Of The Riddermark · 03-14-2005, 07:07 AM

Offer them a cookie?

Quote:

Orc: Rarrarghahtarahgha Uruk Hai!

Me: Cookie?

Carrûn · 03-14-2005, 07:54 AM

Start a rumor that the short orcs wanted to kill the tall orcs.

Sit back with some popcorn and observe.

Mithalwen · 03-14-2005, 02:20 PM

Or say "he's not the messiah... he's a very naughty boy" ?

Esgallhugwen · 03-15-2005, 06:02 PM

Convince them to join my Legion of Darkness because it has better member benefits of course.

or

Reach for my trusty mace....oh that's right I havn't bought one yet, hmm this could be problematic to my future.

Celebaglar · 03-15-2005, 07:30 PM

Bring out a cd player in lingerie and play afternoon delight.

Tymezennith · 03-23-2005, 03:34 PM

Not really sure what I'd do with 200,000 orcs, but maybe:
1)Snatch a bunch of order forms and get them to buy my little sister's girl scout cookies
2)Subscribe to a pyramid scheme selling jewelry and get filthy rich

3)tell them I only have one toilet and the rest will have to go someplace else, but please not on my lawn.
4)scream, slam the door, hide in some dark corner downstairs and get my fiendish little brother to open the door.

03-24-2005, 09:13 PM

hmmmm 200000 orcs

oh s#i#!

Vinyacoriel · 06-07-2005, 11:27 PM

Well, first I'd scream like crazy and then start asking them all these questions like, "did you fight the fellowship" "if so, how did you survive"... and they'd be so confused that they wouldn't see me calling up my friend to get his girlfriend's army of penguins that will one day dominate the earth (long story, don't ask) and after they all die, I'd get my one ring and when I use it the witchking will come and kill me, but the hobbits will live on and rule the world!!!!!

Gil-Galad · 06-08-2005, 07:15 AM

Direct them to the nearest "How to save your mone fast" Seminar, thus making them bankrupt by the pyramid-sceme and making then into hobos...

gralin musicteeth · 09-24-2005, 10:20 AM

Quote:

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....

Serve them all tea and crumpets with bakeapple jam. Later on, we would have a rousing game of croquet followed by a lovely potluck supper in the garden.

Then I would slay them all with a chair. They are such impolite and messy houseguests.

malkatoj · 09-24-2005, 02:33 PM

Hmmm...either:

(1)Wait for them to start attacking me, then start yelling 'Come and see the inherent in the system!'

Or

(2)Convince the orcs that Sauron and Saruman are the Oligarchy and are trying to create a class structure such that they (Sauron and Saruman) could completely control the orcs and take advantage of everything. I would then band the orcs together under their new leader (me) and stage a revolt against the two oligarchs. Once this was over, I would have gotten rid of a major threat to (Middle?) Earth AND formed my own army of 200,000 orcs. Win-win!

(Edit) After all that hard work, I think I wouldn't be able to help but find myself wondering how they all fit on an 8x4-ish piece of wood.

Morgoth's Apprentice · 05-19-2008, 05:54 PM

If 200,000 orcs were on my doorstep....

I'd tell them to get the heck out of here and back to Angband before Morgoth flies into yet another rage and kills off half his orc army. If that didn't work I would have to call in the exterminator. Pesky orcs....

Babidi Buu · 08-14-2008, 09:27 PM

200,000 orcs?

I think i would
A) Scream
B) Faint
C) Well, i doubt i would be able to let them all in the house.-scratch that option-
D) if Gothmog was leading them, i'd Join forces!

sassyfriend · 09-10-2011, 07:31 PM

Grab something hard and solid and beat the life outta em!

Galadriel55 · 09-10-2011, 07:37 PM

Tell them that I don't give charity, don't buy cookies, and don't participate in fundrasing.

Or,

Tell them that they are only 199, 999.

Or,

Take a piece of fake jewelry and throw it in their midst. See who will survive.

03-11-2005, 03:14 PM	#1
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would.... ...Wonder what I'd had to drink last night. __________________ Gordon's alive!

03-13-2005, 08:06 PM	#3
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would.... Tell them that they had the wrong house. Frodo lives on the next block. AND Wonder how I could count 200,000 orcs so quickly. OR Go find a full sized mirror and scare them with the reflection of 200,000 orcs. __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

03-14-2005, 07:54 AM	#5
Carrûn Wight Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Behind you, counting to 3 Posts: 234	Start a rumor that the short orcs wanted to kill the tall orcs. Sit back with some popcorn and observe. __________________ "Dic, hospes, Spartae, nos te hic vidisse iacentes dum sanctis patriae legibus obsequimur."

03-14-2005, 02:20 PM	#6
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,461	Or say "he's not the messiah... he's a very naughty boy" ? __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

03-15-2005, 06:02 PM	#7
Esgallhugwen Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Where the Moon cries against the snow Posts: 526	Convince them to join my Legion of Darkness because it has better member benefits of course. or Reach for my trusty mace....oh that's right I havn't bought one yet, hmm this could be problematic to my future. __________________ "...for the sin of the idolater is not that he worships stone, but that he worships one stone over others. -8:9:4 The Witness of Fane"

03-15-2005, 07:30 PM	#8
Celebaglar Animated Skeleton Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Among the host of the noldor, and the last high elves that dwell in middle eath Posts: 31	Bring out a cd player in lingerie and play afternoon delight.

03-23-2005, 03:34 PM	#9
Tymezennith Pile O'Bones Join Date: May 2003 Location: surfing a soundwave on a subatomic board Posts: 14	Not really sure what I'd do with 200,000 orcs, but maybe: 1)Snatch a bunch of order forms and get them to buy my little sister's girl scout cookies 2)Subscribe to a pyramid scheme selling jewelry and get filthy rich 3)tell them I only have one toilet and the rest will have to go someplace else, but please not on my lawn. 4)scream, slam the door, hide in some dark corner downstairs and get my fiendish little brother to open the door. __________________ When humor goes, there goes civilization. ErmaBombeck

03-24-2005, 09:13 PM	#10
Princess Ai Guest Posts: n/a	hmmmm 200000 orcs oh s#i#!

06-07-2005, 11:27 PM	#11
Vinyacoriel Haunting Spirit Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 59	What to do.... what to do....? Well, first I'd scream like crazy and then start asking them all these questions like, "did you fight the fellowship" "if so, how did you survive"... and they'd be so confused that they wouldn't see me calling up my friend to get his girlfriend's army of penguins that will one day dominate the earth (long story, don't ask) and after they all die, I'd get my one ring and when I use it the witchking will come and kill me, but the hobbits will live on and rule the world!!!!! __________________ So there's this totally awsome Ring and there's some lord of it who i think isn't Frodo, but hey, it's a trillogy of tales so rock on!!! Last edited by Vinyacoriel; 06-07-2005 at 11:35 PM.

06-08-2005, 07:15 AM	#12
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 4,734	Direct them to the nearest "How to save your mone fast" Seminar, thus making them bankrupt by the pyramid-sceme and making then into hobos... __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

09-24-2005, 02:33 PM	#14
malkatoj Wight Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: A hovel in Florin Posts: 173	Hmmm...either: (1)Wait for them to start attacking me, then start yelling 'Come and see the inherent in the system!' Or (2)Convince the orcs that Sauron and Saruman are the Oligarchy and are trying to create a class structure such that they (Sauron and Saruman) could completely control the orcs and take advantage of everything. I would then band the orcs together under their new leader (me) and stage a revolt against the two oligarchs. Once this was over, I would have gotten rid of a major threat to (Middle?) Earth AND formed my own army of 200,000 orcs. Win-win! (Edit) After all that hard work, I think I wouldn't be able to help but find myself wondering how they all fit on an 8x4-ish piece of wood.

05-19-2008, 05:54 PM	#15
Morgoth's Apprentice Animated Skeleton Join Date: May 2008 Location: In Angband, chillin with Morgoth and learning how to take over the world Posts: 38	If 200,000 orcs were on my doorstep.... I'd tell them to get the heck out of here and back to Angband before Morgoth flies into yet another rage and kills off half his orc army. If that didn't work I would have to call in the exterminator. Pesky orcs....

08-14-2008, 09:27 PM	#16
Babidi Buu Wight Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Middle-Earth, near Minas Morgul. Posts: 128	I would.. 200,000 orcs? I think i would A) Scream B) Faint C) Well, i doubt i would be able to let them all in the house.-scratch that option- D) if Gothmog was leading them, i'd Join forces!

09-10-2011, 07:31 PM	#17
sassyfriend Wight Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 165	Grab something hard and solid and beat the life outta em!

09-10-2011, 07:37 PM	#18
Galadriel55 Blossom of Dwimordene Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: The realm of forgotten words Posts: 10,523	Tell them that I don't give charity, don't buy cookies, and don't participate in fundrasing. Or, Tell them that they are only 199, 999. Or, Take a piece of fake jewelry and throw it in their midst. See who will survive. __________________ You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera