Of what did they taste? - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Gurthang · 07-06-2005, 11:16 PM

Obviously, Ents would taste somewhat like a Venus-flytrap(whatever they taste like). Because the flytraps can move they must be a primative form of Ent, so they should taste very similar.

Trolls, on the other hand, wouldn't taste of plastic, because plastic melts in heat, not sets. Therefore, they should taste of clay, or some ceramic texture.

Yet all this is making me wonder: what does the guy who be short taste like?

Gil-Galad · 07-07-2005, 06:55 AM

Now that you mention that, i think he'll be pretty hairy so we'll have to skin him...5 pounds for 20 minutes of skinning time?

the guy who be short · 07-07-2005, 11:30 AM

Orcs are extremely salty.

Notice that whenever a mound of dead orcs is created, grass ceases to grow above it. It is quite obvious this is due to extreme saltiness in the orcs' blood levels.

Now, orcs were tortured and disformed Elves. It is now apparent that the fashion is which Morgoth tortured them was to create open wounds and then rub salt into them. Eventually, this salt was assimilated into the Orcs' bloodstream, resulting in salty Orcses.

This explains their disgusting taste - poor food for Shelob. They taste like extremely salty pork.

dancing spawn of ungoliant · 07-07-2005, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Balrogs taste like chicken, or so I've heard on many occasions. Most likely they taste like chicken wings

I wouldn't recommend anyone to eat balrog. There's way too much carcinogens: you would just end up with a cancer.

Quote:

Could the Fea affect the taste of a race?

I'm sure that there are major flavour dissimilarities even between individuals of one species caused by their personalities. For example, an orc who drinks plenty of water and spends enough time in the sun (for vitamin D) is bound to taste less salty than some other orc who sucks a lick stone and watches cable all days long.

Lalwendë · 07-07-2005, 01:18 PM

Orcs taste like mystery meat, the sort that is commonly served up in kebab vans outside the Green Dragon on Friday nights. The young Hobbits who are tanked up to the tips of their slightly pointy ears on high strength ale feel compelled to eat it, but likewise, they are also compelled to drown said mystery meat in chilli sauce.

Balrogs are a bit like Turkey. During the Yule festivities Hobbit mums go and buy Balrog joints to serve up for the family festivities, together with roast taters and sprouts they have had on the boil for a week or two. However, as Balrog meat is so cheap, it has lately been used to make cheap, oven ready food products sold to the kitchens of Hobbit schools in the form of Balrog Twizzlers. Famed young Buckland chef, Jamie Oliver-Baggins recently got himself into the news for bringing the poor nutritional value of Balrog Twizzlers to the attention of the Shire. As a result, the Mayor has seen to it that they are banned from Hobbit schools.

Giant spiders like Shelob have quite a complex taste I hear. Though these days instead of using them for their meat, their fangs are being milked owing to the supposedly good bacteria found in them. Said spider milk, which has a brown colour, is being marketed in Gondor as Yakoliant, though many remain sceptical as to its beneficial properties.

Lhunardawen · 07-11-2005, 01:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spawn

I wouldn't recommend anyone to eat balrog. There's way too much carcinogens: you would just end up with a cancer

But barbecue is just too good to pass up on!

One thing I'm sure of is, whatever their taste, Feanor and Saruman definitely taste alike. Apparently, they have the same meat.

the guy who be short · 07-11-2005, 07:03 AM

Actually, I'm quite interested in the flavour of the Istari. As I've started before, I can't help but wonder if "Blue Wizards" implies a blue flavour or not. Radagast, I imagine would taste quite nutty, Gandalf wouldn't taste of much, Saruman would be bitter. This is all on the presumption that Fea can influence taste (just can't make my mind up on that...).

I doubt that one could eat Balrogs actually. Shadow is hard to eat, and fire, though simpler, is slightly more painful.

07-06-2005, 11:16 PM	#1
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	Obviously, Ents would taste somewhat like a Venus-flytrap(whatever they taste like). Because the flytraps can move they must be a primative form of Ent, so they should taste very similar. Trolls, on the other hand, wouldn't taste of plastic, because plastic melts in heat, not sets. Therefore, they should taste of clay, or some ceramic texture. Yet all this is making me wonder: what does the guy who be short taste like? __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

07-07-2005, 06:55 AM	#2
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 4,734	Now that you mention that, i think he'll be pretty hairy so we'll have to skin him...5 pounds for 20 minutes of skinning time? __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

07-07-2005, 11:30 AM	#3
the guy who be short Shadowed Prince Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Thulcandra Posts: 2,343	Orcses Orcs are extremely salty. Notice that whenever a mound of dead orcs is created, grass ceases to grow above it. It is quite obvious this is due to extreme saltiness in the orcs' blood levels. Now, orcs were tortured and disformed Elves. It is now apparent that the fashion is which Morgoth tortured them was to create open wounds and then rub salt into them. Eventually, this salt was assimilated into the Orcs' bloodstream, resulting in salty Orcses. This explains their disgusting taste - poor food for Shelob. They taste like extremely salty pork.

07-07-2005, 01:18 PM	#5
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Orcs taste like mystery meat, the sort that is commonly served up in kebab vans outside the Green Dragon on Friday nights. The young Hobbits who are tanked up to the tips of their slightly pointy ears on high strength ale feel compelled to eat it, but likewise, they are also compelled to drown said mystery meat in chilli sauce. Balrogs are a bit like Turkey. During the Yule festivities Hobbit mums go and buy Balrog joints to serve up for the family festivities, together with roast taters and sprouts they have had on the boil for a week or two. However, as Balrog meat is so cheap, it has lately been used to make cheap, oven ready food products sold to the kitchens of Hobbit schools in the form of Balrog Twizzlers. Famed young Buckland chef, Jamie Oliver-Baggins recently got himself into the news for bringing the poor nutritional value of Balrog Twizzlers to the attention of the Shire. As a result, the Mayor has seen to it that they are banned from Hobbit schools. Giant spiders like Shelob have quite a complex taste I hear. Though these days instead of using them for their meat, their fangs are being milked owing to the supposedly good bacteria found in them. Said spider milk, which has a brown colour, is being marketed in Gondor as Yakoliant, though many remain sceptical as to its beneficial properties. __________________ Gordon's alive!

07-11-2005, 07:03 AM	#7
the guy who be short Shadowed Prince Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Thulcandra Posts: 2,343	Actually, I'm quite interested in the flavour of the Istari. As I've started before, I can't help but wonder if "Blue Wizards" implies a blue flavour or not. Radagast, I imagine would taste quite nutty, Gandalf wouldn't taste of much, Saruman would be bitter. This is all on the presumption that Fea can influence taste (just can't make my mind up on that...). I doubt that one could eat Balrogs actually. Shadow is hard to eat, and fire, though simpler, is slightly more painful.