References to Tolkien's work in *your* work

[the guy who be short]

Two more then.

Firstly, a French interview with a famous person. Guess who I chose.

Une interview avec John Tolkien
Moi: Bon jour!
J.R.R: Je deteste le francais!
M: Pourquoi? Francais est la langue d'amour! C'est beau, n'est-ce pas?
J: Non. Je la deteste. C'est embêtant.
M: Er... quel âge avez-vous?
J: J'ai plus de cent ans. Malheureusement je suis mort. Mort comme un dodo!
M: Vous n'aimez pas être mort?
J: Non. Je ne peux pas manger, tout le monde ont peur de moi et Jesus me dèteste!
M: Pourquoi?
J: Les morts ne pouvent pas enter Heaven.
M: Ah. Alors, As-tu un film préferé?
J: Le Segneur des Anneaux
M: Et votre caractère préferé est...?
J: Frodo. Il est petit!
M Vraiment?
J: Oui! Très petit!
M: Alors, Ou habitez-vous?
J: Métro.
M: Avez-vous un animal?
J: Un ver de terre, Jeff. Il est mort.
J: Merci, et au revoir.

An Interview with John Tolkien
Me: Good day
J.R.R: I hate French!
M: Why? French is the language of love. It's beautiful, isn't it?
J: No. I hate it. It's (embarassing, apparently).
M: Er... How old are you?
J: More than 100. Unfortunately, I'm dead. Dead like a Dodo!
M: You don't like being dead?
J: No. I can't eat, everybody's afraid of me and Jesus hates me!
M: Why?
J: The Dead may not enter Heaven
M: Ah. Well, do you have a favourite film?
J: The Lord of the Rings
M: And your favourite character is...?
J: Frodo. He's small!
M: Oh, really?
J: Yes! Very small!
M: Where do you live?
J: Under the ground.
M: And do you have a pet?
J: An earthworm, Jeff. He's dead.
M: Thank you and good bye.

I tried to work in his hating the French language, but it spiralled into insanity from there, as so many of my works are wont to do...

A much shorter one now. During P.S.H.E. (Personal Social Health Education) we were learning about drugs and their effects. I illustrated "Heroin" with a small caption from Lord of the Rings (Banquo from Shakespeare was also there, being a running joke of mine at the time, but isn't relevant).

From left to right, the drawings were:
Banquo, stating "I am Banquo!"
Boromir, randomly saying "I care not."
Legolas: Friend Gimli, you are short.
Gimli: Do not take heroin, it leaves you looking like Smeagol.
Gandalf: (of the Heroring inbetween them): Give it to me, Smeagol.
Heroring: Can't talk, obviously. It just lay there.
Gollum: (Wavy haired and crazy-eyed) Yesss my preciousss... heroin... No! you can't take my precious!
A small mushroom: I'm a magic mushroom! Whoooooo! (Erm - also not relevant, it was a running joke too, but it was there nonetheless).

In the distance behind all this was a flaming eye, declaring itself the Eye of Sauron, and a man questioning his anatomy.

That is all for now, though I shall return once more.

[Encaitare]

*dies laughing*

Tolkien summing up his work as "Frodo. He's small" is fantastic... and the pet earthworm...

[yavanna II]

hehe... Nice thread. In my Journalism class I usually pretend to be Bilbo taking down notes and writing.... although I never really applied my Tolkienism syndrome in class....

Unless you include my weird moments in English and Filipino classes wherein I use names, places and events in my themes, compositions, and other writings.

Question: Give a sentence with an S-TV-DO pattern
answer: Beren and Luthien took a Silmaril from the Iron Crown.

Tanong: Magbigay ng halimbawa kung saan maihahawig ang akdang El Filibusterismo sa buhay MO.
Sagot: Ang mga fraile ay ang eksaktong kabaliktaran ng Valar, dahil ni minsan ay di nila inalagaan ang mga tinatawag nilang Indio. Ngunit tulad n gValar, nagrebelde rin ang mga Indio, at nakakamit ng kalayaan. Kahit papaano ay may pagkakaiba ang pagrerebelde ng mga Diwata dahil sila'y may nais paghigantigan; ang Pilipino'y nais lamang lumaya upang mamuhay ng mapayapa.

Translation:
Q: Give examples wherein the novel El Filibusterismo is related to YOUR life.
A: THe friars were evil and were the exact opposite of the Valar. THey never cared for the Filipino masses, except when they paid all those taxes they impose. But, like the Valar, the Filipino had rebelled and claimed freedom, yet the Noldor did it for revenge.

Well... there are innumerable crazy Tolkien moments in school... yet those above are the latest. And my Filipino teacher gave me a big fat 75 on my essay... I bet she never has read any Tolkien book nor watched any LOTR movie... she is too patriotic. Anyway what does she know of my life?

[LadyBrooke]

Besides the essays I write for school solely about Tolkien?

All of the time. Including this somewhat section from an essay about the way the grasp of English language is getting worse and worse amongst my peers:

Finally lets translate two quotes from their original form to the standard of English most people have today. Here is the original quote from one of the most tragic moments I have ever read in a book:

Then all the host of Morgoth swarmed against them, and they bridged the stream with the dead, and encircled the remnant of Hithlum as a gathering tide about a rock.

Huor fell pierced with a venomed arrow in the eye, and all the valiant men of Hador were slain about him in a heap, and the Orcs hewed their heads and piled them as a mound of gold; for the sun was shining on the sixth and last day of the battle and their yellow locks shone amid the blood. Last of all Hurin stood alone. Then he cast aside his shield and wielded his axe two-handed; and it is sung that in that last stand he himself slew a hundred of the Orcs. But they took him alive at last, by the command of Morgoth, who thought thus to do him more evil than by death. Therefore his servants grappled him with their hands, which clung still to him though he hewed off their arms; and ever their numbers were renewed until at the last he fell buried beneath them. Then binding him they dragged him to Angband with mockery. Thus ended the Nirnaeth Arnediad, and the sun sank red over Hithlum, and there came a great storm on the winds of the West.

--from 'The Grey Annals' in The War of the Jewels.

Let’s see the new version.

Then all the armies of Morgoth surrounded them. They used the dead as a bridge. They surrounded the rest of the army.

Huor was killed when he was shot in the eye with an arrow. Everybody else around was killed. The enemy cut off their heads and put them in a pile because their hair sparkled when the sun hit it. Then Hurin was all alone. He threw his shield and wielded his axe. He slew a hundred enemies than. Then they took him prisoner because Morgoth said to. He was going to do something worse than death to him. So they tried to capture him and finally managed to. Then the battle ended.

The quote loses a lot of the emotion behind it and the destruction doesn’t even really register in your mind. You could be reading a grocery list with this amount of emotion. On to the next quote.

Such lissom limbs no more shall run
on the green earth beneath the sun;
So fair a maid no more shall be
from dawn to dusk, from sun to sea.
Her robe was blue as summer skies,
but grey as evening were her eyes;
her mantle sewn with lilies fair,
but dark as shadow was her hair.
Her feet were swift as bird on wing,
her laughter merry as the spring;
the slender willow, the bowing reed,
the fragrance of the flowering meed,
the light upon the leaves of trees,
the voice of water, more than these
her beauty was and blissfulness,
her glory and her loveliness.

--description of Luthien from the 'Lay of Leithian' or 'Release from Bondage' in The Lays of Beleriand.

This makes you really think about how beautiful she must have been. You can see her in your mind. Lets see the new translation.

Nobody so pretty would ever run again.
No girl this pretty will ever be alive agin.
She had a blue dress.
Her eyes were grey
Her coat was embroidered with lilies.
Her hair was black.
She was fast.
She laughed nice.
She was prettier than anything.

Well at least we know she was pretty and wore a blue dress.

An admittedly odd use of Tolkien, but what can I say?