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Visit The *EVEN NEWER* Barrow-Downs Photo Page |
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11-05-2005, 05:09 PM
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#1 |
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Shadowed Prince
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Thulcandra
Posts: 2,343
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I know politicians have already been sent to Mordor (by myself, nonetheless! [or should that be me?]) but I really must send in particular the much-overused Tory phrase "cutting red tape." What exactly does red tape mean? Free transport services for the elderly? Free milk for schoolchildren? The NHS?!
Gah. I feel like attacking David Cameron. With something blunt. |
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11-05-2005, 10:33 PM
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#2 |
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Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Hearing "because you don't need to."
If I want to go to a movie or something and the only reason against it is "you don't need to" my blood pressure rises really quickly. Whether I need to or not is completely relative. "You don't need to" is not a reason & therefore shouldn't be offered as one. Heck, I didn't need to go on this mini rant here. But it sure felt good... 
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11-05-2005, 11:15 PM
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#3 | |
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Itinerant Songster
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Edge of Faerie
Posts: 7,066
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a small history of 'red tape'
Quote:
To Mordor: too much to do and not enough time to do it. |
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11-06-2005, 02:02 AM
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#4 |
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Byronic Brand
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The 1590s
Posts: 2,778
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Partly to irritate tgwbs a wee bit, and partly to fly my true political colours, I send David Davis to Mordor, reassign David Cameron to Minas Tirith and firmly place Boris Johnson on Taniquetil...
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Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso |
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11-06-2005, 05:41 AM
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#5 |
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Blithe Spirit
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,779
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I assign to Mordor that running-fingernails-down- the- blackboard rhetorical question, "How xxxx is that?" For years I've been waiting for it to die a death but still it flourishes. Even some of my best and most well-educated friends have been infected. Arrgh......How annoying is that?
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Out went the candle, and we were left darkling |
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11-06-2005, 06:04 AM
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#6 | |
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Hauntress of the Havens
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: IN it, but not OF it
Posts: 2,538
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Quote:
Last edited by Lhunardawen; 11-06-2005 at 06:17 AM. |
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11-06-2005, 06:18 AM
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#7 | |
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Riveting Ribbiter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Assigned to Mordor
Posts: 1,767
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Quote:
Mismatched socks and socks with holes in the toe belong in Mordor.
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People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect. But actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff. |
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11-06-2005, 09:01 AM
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#8 |
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Itinerant Songster
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Edge of Faerie
Posts: 7,066
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more for the hey of it
Here's the list from pages 6 through 10. Sheesh! You guys were busy over these five pages
 ...as if I had nothing to do with it!  6 am flights 6th Form ache that comes from flossing after a long hiatus acute paranoia adjectives used in place of adverbs adults who do not remember how it is to be young adults who think moody teenagers care about the difficulties of being a parent adults who think teens' negative thought are due to hormones and moodiness alone Adware after-date paranoia airports allergic conjunctivitis allergies and all of their varied symptoms annoying English teachers annoying guys who provide the voiceovers at the end of infomercials and commercials anything boring anything that keeps one from playing WW games apathetic English teachers attempting to accomplish Orkish havoc characterized as "doing nothing" attendance office at school with wrong information Axe-murderers (in a soon to be released ATM near you....) bad email software bad habits bad thinking behind banning computer access while allowing long phone calls bad translations Bags of candy that come to an end too soon Balrog Wingers banning of the internet Bar chords...hardest notes to play on the guitar being bashful around people you know you'll get on excellent with being introverted Being left at school because answering machine didn't work right Being Forbidden from entering The Barrowdowns being out of clean clothes being too sick to flirt (watch out, ATM ladies - 'she was just about to flirt with the cute boy when suddenly she felt sick enough to puke') Biology Lab partner who looks down your blouse black flies blisters from unbroken argyle flats blisters from unbroken flip flops blisters from wearing huge boots Books that look interesting on the covers but are not inside. books written by Roald Dahl boring English teachers Braces Breast cancer bugs Bullies bus drills in gym class where they make you jump off the back of the bus canonicity CaptainofDespair (cameo role?) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (book & movies) children who cannot see how much they mean to their parents classes where everybody's opinion is different from yours classes you hate but still do well in "classy heels" required for business attire Coke colds Cold snaps college applications college applications as more important than wreaking Orkish havoc in an RPG college dorm parties college placement tests Collegiate insomnia computer game which does not let you save your progress whenever you want computers that screw up while using them constipation 'cope' Creepy teachers criticism about, not to, a person crystal clear bad memories customer service departments that keep you on hold a little bit longer than forever Customs checks Declaring feelings to somebody and them not returning them democracy Department of Motor Vehicles diarrea (you ATM players are really in for it!) difference between English and American spelling distributors of speed cameras dog bites dogs that bite (mean, nasty, clothes wearing dogs that bite in ATM) Dread Backspace Button Of Doom ... which works like internet 'back' command dread from finding a check you thought you mailed to pay a bill drivers who drive through a flood at top speed elastic bands in braces English classes Eomer of the Rohirrim (cameo role?) errant pronunciations of the name "Bach" ex-boyfriends excess mucous Excess phlegm (and I mean, really in for it!) extroverts who try to make conversation when you are not in the mood evil, sarcastic, sadistic teachers facial spots fathers who think they know everything about computers & delete your programs Films based on books that radically alter storylines finding a whole chick pea lurking in your braces 6 hours after your last meal - (what's a british youth doing with braces? has there been a dental revolution in England?) Flies flight delays forgetting how to draw Forgetting what you wanted to post French teacher Frodo and Sam with cameo roles in LMP's Mordor RP fruitcakes general heat Generic, uninventive Tolkien fanfiction geography teachers getting a paragraph in reply to a five page letter getting lynched on the first Day of Werewolf girls that claim to be LOTR fans because of Legolas going to bed when it's light out going to work on Saturday halitosis (bad breath caused by gingivitis) having no common language having the wrong textbook with a looming test having to share a laundry facility with 140 women havng to wait until LMP says so to watch that madly fun sounding RP unfold hayfever headaches Heatwaves history of language Hollywood Hollywood and its fruitcakes Homework hovering parents huge workloads human tongue hundred degree greenhouse Hurricanes hurting knees hypocritical parents Idiotic bees inability to breathe institutional food inventor of shoes that are loose around the ankles but tight on the toes irrational fear of phone calls Johnny Depp (cameo?) JK Rowling (cameo?) 'kotex fits. period' (billboards in ATM) lack of the Assigned to Mordor RPG (now that would be weird!) leaches Level 81 in the Pit of 100 Trials in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door lima beans litter litterbugs local press Locker combinations that get stuck Lord of the Rings note books ... sold out mandatory meeting right after sweaty excerise Mario medication tolerance men who hit women Men who unintelligently assign a woman's bad mood to hormones (is there an intelligent way of doing it?) migraines misused homophones modern world's way of taking all the fun out of life monosodium glutimate Mosquitos Multiple lynching in Werewolf (need to work this into ATM somehow...) nagging parents nagging thoughts you realize you should have listened to neighbours who put up large aluminum sheds which block all sun from your garden New computers nights when there is a full moon (so it's always a full moon in Mordor) noisy air conditioners not being in the same class with your friends Not having enough time for PMs offspring who don't understand the difficulties of being a parent Once respectable people who sell their soul by acting in lousy commercials online college application forms osteopaths who try to crush you Overplayed songs Packing pain from first ever dance class papercuts parents parents and their children parents who think that you're nervous about leaving for college in the morning when you're not Parents who abuse their children parents who brag about their children parents who cannot understand their children People on IM who sign in and out repeatedly People who believe that they are the only important beings in the universe people who claim that the advert breaks are no louder than the programmes people who don't turn up for meetings they set People who don't understand introverts people who repeatedly don't show up when you invite them people who give away spoilers to books and movies without warning people who have no regard for others People who litter instead of using a trash can 15 feet away people who make fun of people with asthma people who pronounce it Ray-min noodles people who spill liquor wantonly people who spit gum out on to the pavement people who think that a Straight Edge lifestyle means you've got a gang mentality people who use personal grief as an excuse to treat other peple badly people who wearing sockless sandals bring small space heaters to warm up the space under their desks people you thought were your friends stabbing you in the back permanent paranoia of law enforcement officers Personal statements on college applications Phonetics Phys. Ed. teachers who ignore the fact of your asthma piles of wet tissues that come with allergies pimples Pineapple political correctness pop drinkers pop-up ads Practice job interviews with your parents pretentious use of silent letters process by which one's wisdom teeth are removed procrastination Psychics pushy and angsty cousins Quadratic Function rabbits Rap music really heavy textbooks repair shops that are behind schedule ridiculous conspiracy theories ridiculous conspiracy theorists Road Construction during the worst time of the year Roald Dahl role of Ranger in werewolf Rumor-mongering rumors that idiots spread 'sanguine' Saturday morning classes Sauron's finger and its army SAVEs school districts that separate best friends to different schools school uniform school when it is absolutely pointless Screwing up a simple drawing skinned knees Slipping on garbage left by others in streets slivers social conventions of enduring arrogant people with politeness Soda & coke drinkers Sore throats SPAM Speed cameras splinters spoilt kids that howl on the street sports physicals Standard Of Learning tests that force teachers to teach "to the test" stereotypers strip searches at airports stubbed toes students who insist on coming to school when they are sick summer air conditioning that is set far, far too cold sunburn sweat patches Teachers who don't make maths interesting and explain it properly teenagers teens who don't understand that parents see their children as extensions of themselves Telemarketers who switch the long-distance service you've told them you're happy with telemarketing companies telephones terrorists text books that cost over a hundred bucks a piece and that they have no used versions of The Saucepan Man (cameo role?) thieves thoughts that won't get properly organized to post a serious post to a Books thread Tooth fillings that begin to peel off traveling trying to figure out where to go to University UCAS applications unidentified phone caller unnecessary aspects of plot used Handkerchiefs vacation being over VIRUSES Warranties that expire right before something breaks down water that accidentally gets inhaled wet used handkerchief in your pocket When you really like a thread but can't think of anything to say whoever decided to make Lucius Malfoy so attractive in the Harry Potter films windshield wiper blades that always streak in the line of vision (the orcs behind the wheel driving cars - with flat tires - too fast in Mordor should love this) 'witch' at the other end of the office worries that pick at the mind whether traveling will be safe worst subjects all in the same semester Yellow cars (and all PT Cruisers at that!) "You are judged by the company you keep." (to be on billboards in Mordor) Last edited by littlemanpoet; 11-06-2005 at 09:07 AM. |
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