What do you assign to Mordor?

[Celebuial]

I assign long distance relationships whilst the two people concerned are also busy university students to Mordor.

You never spend enough time studying because you're busy making four hour phone calls. You spend more than your entire food budget on said phone calls. And then when things don't work out you still never spend enough time studying because you're upset, pinning and your head is all ****** up.

University is just the wrong time to fall in love. Especially when the other person is back at home. I think that all the pain and suffering this causes is greater than any dealt out in a torture scene in a particularly vicious Uruk's dreams. There's only one place for this kind of misery...