Are we really like that?

[InklingElf]

In LOTR Treebeard tells Merry and Pippin the tale of the Entwives, but my dad brought up the idea that Tolkien was trying to say something about how women have to be in charge and have everything in order.

and

What about the other women in LOTR? Rose? Eowyn? Arwen? Ioreth? Do you think that they have to be in charge and have everything in order? I don't.

First of all, Entwives are a different race. They don't share all the values of humans. I believe Tolkien meant the Entwives to be like that, and to make it clear that humans don't share in the Ent's values he made them a different race.