The Narn i Chîn Húrin: Beleg & Falivirn

[Findegil]

Just an idea for NA-RG-27:

So {fearful}worried his {face}visage that NA-RG-27{Flinding}[Gwindor] crouched

The alliteration is not perfect, but it might be better then nothing.

Respectfuly
Findegil

[Aiwendil]

Hmm . . . I'm afraid I don't think that can work.

Also, I think that "fearful" here is probably objective rather than subjective - i.e. "inspiring fear" rather than "indicating fear". So I don't think that "worried" works.

I will make a concerted effort to study the difficult lines tomorrow.

[Aiwendil]

Well, I'm afraid I haven't made much progress. But one possibility that occurs to me for FG-RG-26 is:

amid foes imagined; but NA-RG-26{Fuilin's son} [fearful Gwindor] {1265}

[Findegil]

FG-RG-26: Sounds not so bad to me.

FG-RG-27: If nothing else will be found, than we can at least skip line 1277:

NA-RG-27{So fearful his face that Flinding crouched
and}[Gwindor] watched him, wondering what webs of doom

(Maybe again one strong syllable?)

And a solution of the same kind for FG-RG-73:

NA-RG-73 and {Flinding}[Gwindor] knew it {at the feet of the king
like stone graven }standing {silent} like graven stone

Respectfully
Findegil

[Aiwendil]

Sorry for my absence in the past month or so.

FG-RG-27: I think your suggested line is too long, but we could make it:

NA-RG-27{So fearful his face that Flinding crouched
and}[Gwindor] {watched him}, wonder{ing}ed what webs of doom

FG-RG-73: Again, I think your line has one too many strong syllables. I suppose we could try:

NA-RG-73 and {Flinding}[Gwindor] knew it {at the feet of the king
like {stone graven} graven stone {standing silent}

I don't know whether ". . . like graven stone" makes sense without "standing silent" though.

[Findegil]

Na-RG-27: I think the "," must go as well otherwise I agree:

NA-RG-27{So fearful his face that Flinding crouched
and watched him,}[Gwindor] {wondering}wondered what webs of doom

NA-RG-73: I don't think ". . . like graven stone" makes any sense without "standing silent". What about taking a line more into account:

NA-RG-73 and {Flinding}[Gwindor] knew it {at the feet of the king
}like stone graven{ standing silent}
with heart laden}standing silent; but Húrin's son

Respectfully
Findegil

[Aiwendil]

RG-27: Yes, I missed the comma.

RG-73: I think your suggestion is good, as long as we make two transpositions to prevent alliteration on the last strong syllable:

NA-RG-73 and {Flinding}[Gwindor] knew it {at the feet of the king}like {stone graven}graven stone { standing silent}
with heart laden}standing silent; but the son of Húrin{'s son}

I think we are (provisionally) done with this section - though there may well be better solutions available for certain lines if we look harder.