The Hobbit Survivor

[Lalaith]

Exactly that kind of thing.

[mormegil]

But really what does Elrond provide? He's not humorous. He councils what should and should not be done yet doesn't offer himself to do it. He's not tragic, so there's no sympathy support there. Neither is he charismatic. So what does that leave us? The only other option for an interesting contestant is the unscrupulous individuals who flaunt public nudity on TV and that is not Elrond either. The only thing good to come from Elrond is his sons.

Oh and let's not forget that he's a coward and a liar.. While elves are being slaughtered he retreats to find safe haven for himself and altered the histories to reflect him in a good light.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

You know, it took me two and a half Middle-earth Survivor seasons to get what's so fascinating in these threads that they go on for pages, but actually, this looks pretty fun. What's next, are you perhaps planning to have an All-Stars Survivor - or a BDer Survivor (Eru forbid)?

But now I'm digressing. This post is dedicated to making a case against Beorn. He possesses many qualities that make him an unpleasant tribe member and although I'm but a novice to ME Survivor, I'd strongly recommend considering getting rid of him because:

1) He is rude. A reliable and comprehensive poll of two people clearly shows that Beorn is a nasty character with hardly any manners at all.

"He [Beorn] can be appaling when he is angry."
"He gets angry easily."

- Mr. Gandalf the Grey, wizard

"[Beorn] was never very polite."

- Mr. J.R.R. Tolkien, professor

2) He is lazy. "He doesn't hunt or eat wild animals." Well, even if he is a vegetarian, there are a lot of other people who would eat meat willingly. It's not an excuse to shirk your tribe's common duties ie. helping to get enough food to everybody. Neither is it an excuse to get all the cream and honey of the tribe.

Beorn also has a tendency to make all kinds of animals serve him and do his share of work. This bloke has some serious attitude problems!

3) He is possessive. If Beorn borrows someone something (which doesn't happen often), he incessantly keeps an eye on them and circles around watching that anything won't happen to his belongings.

You are voting for Girion because he's too boring (it's quite a good reason, though), but I'm voting for Beorn because he's impossible.

++ Beorn

[Anguirel]

I say spawnowen has a valid point. Elrondists and Girionists alike, follow her lead!

--GIRION, ++BEORN

Finally, away with the sanctimonious vegetarian! If this tribe has to be attacked, he's the best target by miles.

[Lalaith]

Welcome on board, spawn.
Beorn is one of my favourites, but I'll defend him later. For now, Elrond is the one in danger...Morm, you're not being entirely fair...aren't we supposed to be voting for these people purely within the context of their characters in the Hobbit? All the stuff about safe havens, that's not in the Hobbit, I don't think...there, he is kind, hospitable and helpful. He seems to take a pretty ecumenical, inclusive approach, too - all travellers welcome, regardless of ethnic origin.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

" What's next, are you
perhaps planning to have an All-Stars Survivor - or a BDer Survivor (Eru forbid)?"
=================

Spawn, a Second Age Survivor might be interesting.
Picture a final featuring the dysfunctional
couple: Erendis vs. Aladarion (with Sauron
as the impartial arbiter).

[Kuruharan]

He is rude. A reliable and comprehensive poll of two people clearly shows that Beorn is a nasty character with hardly any manners at all.

Exactly. That is what makes for such compelling television!! People want to watch impossible personalities fumble and bumble about in a pit of social awkwardness.

Well, even if he is a vegetarian

He has that whole counter-culture thing going on. The viewers love this...or at least the producers love this.

He is possessive.

An excellent catalyst for conflict!! Why else would people watch? They want to see a two-hour train wreck.

I'm voting for Beorn because he's impossible.

That is exactly why he should stay around. The island needs its cross-grained, cussed ole' varmints.

Anguirel I'm surprised at you. A savvy operator like yourself attempting to vote off one of the most colorful characters. Tsk.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Originally Posted by Kuruharan

Exactly. That is what makes for such compelling television!! People want to watch impossible personalities fumble and bumble about in a pit of social awkwardness.

He has that whole counter-culture thing going on. The viewers love this...or at least the producers love this.

An excellent catalyst for conflict!! Why else would people watch? They want to see a two-hour train wreck.

They do? Interesting... Well, you are thinking more of the producers and viewers and I'm thinking the best of Beorn's tribe. Besides, if he drives his fellow contestants crazy, it's going to get really nasty afterwards with all the claims for damages, lawsuits and such. But what's more important, I think, is that such a rude, lazy and possessive person as Beorn does not deserve to be crowned to the winner of The Hobbit Survivor, so we might as well get rid of him now.

Anguirel I'm surprised at you. A savvy operator like yourself attempting to vote off one of the most colorful characters. Tsk.

If this is all about keeping the colourful and controversial people around, how come you have voted off such characters as Gandalf, Bilbo and Gollum, just to name a few? According to your theory about what people want to see, I'm sure that one uncloaking chap, schizophrenic hermit and a burrahobbit who gets himself constantly into big trouble would attract as many viewers as, I don't know- Super Bowl, so why are you so keen to keep this one particular bloke around? Perhaps you've made a deal to share the prize money if he wins... Ooh, even Middle-earth isn't safe from corruption!


ps. Thanks for the welcome!
pps.

[Formendacil]

Originally Posted by Tuor in Gondolin

" What's next, are you
perhaps planning to have an All-Stars Survivor - or a BDer Survivor (Eru forbid)?"
=================

Spawn, a Second Age Survivor might be interesting.
Picture a final featuring the dysfunctional
couple: Erendis vs. Aladarion (with Sauron
as the impartial arbiter).

I already have dibs on the next show: Survivor: Second Age, featuring a somewhat trimmed down cast, and aimed at the 20ish yearolds Barrow-Downs Death Set.

But we are getting ahead of ourselves. We have Elves to kill!

I mean.... wait...

We've got....

Umm... a fun show to make.

Yeah.

Now, I like to vote strategically... I wait for a couple votes to crop up and show me who the big candidates are each day. And today I'm seeing Elrond, Galion, and Beorn.

Of the three, I really think we should get rid of the dead guy. I mean, really, the only reason that he doesn't stink too badly is that he was charred to a crisp by Smaug. Still, a blackened pile of bones is rather unattractive, and it's driving the rating up. Little kids get scared of charred dead guys.

++ Girion

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Formendacil makes sense. So:

- - Tom

+ + Girion

P. S. For Survivor Second Age don't forget Ancalime (like mother
like daughter).