Assigned to Mordor RPG

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Alli sat alone and unhappy on the outskirts of the group. She wanted to sit by Sai... the only one that she felt she could trust in this whole group... but she was by Mardil. Fea was still gone... it was a good thing, truth be told. Alli wasn't sure if she could handle her emotions at this point.

Now Illamatar arrived, clad in purple spandex and baaing fiercly. Alli looked around and was passively miffed that nobody else could see him.

"You know, O Lord, that if people keep seeing me converse with empty space, they'll call me a loony and kill me?"

Illamatar looked at her with pity.

"Do you really think they care what you're doing?

"Way to crush a girl's confidence, O Lord. What have you to tell me now?"

"Jennifer Lopez has been rendered harmless."

"What?" Alli was confused. Since when were a pair of buttocks considered dangerous? And what in the world did this have to do with anything?

"She is harmless. The girl with whom you travel has taken care of her unwittingly."

"You mean that Sai is innocent?"

"Of course."

"But... I don't understand... J.Lo. isn't in the game... she just happened to..." Alli stopped, something dawning on her. Shortly after her epiphany, she looked at Illamatar.

"Do you understand?" he baaed.

"Sai is innocent of all crimes in Mordor. J.Lo. has been rendered innocent though she does not play in this game. Mario...?"

"A bloody great threat to the world. You must ally yourself with the Scotsman."

"I'll take care of it. But what does Sai have to do with my side-plot?"

"You'll figure it out."

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Rather far away, in another dimension, in another time, place, and thought process, Fea had rather been enjoying herself. After she disappeared, she'd gone to a gathering of friends, expecting laughs, but not the boys that arrived.

Her night had grown longer than she'd expected after this, infused with laughter, flirting, and stories by starlight until past midnight, when she decided that homework was in order and socialization for the day was at an end. She'd meant to return to the village quickly, but she had to admit that this diversion had really been a lot of fun.

Now, after classes were over and the opposite sex was sufficiently out of her mind, Fea returned to the little Mordorian village and wondered about her previous logic at releasing a bunch of werewolves on an already werewolf-infested village.

She looked around, catching a lethal glance from Sai. She had to give the girl credit... she certainly stood by her friend. Though at the moment she sat by the guy that her friend was upset over. Fea wondered what was going through Alli's head. She wondered what was going through Sai's head. She especially wondered what was going through Flein's head. What was going through Mardil and Aimè's heads was easy to figure out... if they were any more obvious, there would be a stream of drool involved.

She casually stood, twirling a heavy staff. While she didn't have as much strength as would be needed to defend herself against the entire village, she suspected that she wouldn't require it. She knew that she would soon die... she had accepted it as soon as the phantom had requested permission to accuse her of guilt. But she wasn't going to go easily. She was going to do something to make the Offenders gasp in shock. She didn't know what it was yet, but she hoped pretty hard it wouldn't end up being anticlimactic.

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Tom was busy in his little bit of space moping over his recent encounter with a Scotsman. Aimè was the enemy in his book. He wondered if Aimè knew why Tom hated him so much and wished him so much ill will... it didn't matter. What did was that he could not speak with nor look at the Scotsman without feeling a certain growling menace unfold deep within him. He was pretty certain that it had something to do with the way Aimè was now eyeballing Sai.

Aimè couldn't have Sai... Tom wanted her.

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Alli saw Fea as soon as Illamatar disappeared. She hated her with a passion. Arrogant. She was arrogant. And the worst part was, she was perfectly well allowed to have such a high opinion of herself because everything that she believed of herself was true. It was most annoying. She seemed to believe that she could get everything she wanted.

Well... maybe she could and maybe she couldn't, but apparently she was capable of getting exactly what Alli wanted, even though Alli couldn't manage it.

It didn't matter any more... she would soon die. Alli would soon die... Mardil would soon die...

Life is short and full of pain, she thought. Fleeting... grief-stricken... nobody is meant to be happy, least of all me.

She fell into a bit of despair over the trust that Illamatar had placed in her as well as the basic stress of having to keep yourself alive on your path along your only chance of ever finding your way back home while being somewhat in love with a guy with whom nothing seemed to be going right and who apparently had been undressed in a confined space with another girl very recently. Silent tears forced their way through her stubbornly focused eyes. Her whole body shook as she tried to repress her emotions. Finally, she gave way to the tears and curled up defensively as she cried, hoping that Illamatar was right when he said that nobody cared what she did.

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Tom strode over to Sai, offering his hand and when she made to shake it, brushing hers with his lips. She blushed slightly and Tom grinned deep inside.

"Will you work with me, pretty girl, to rid the world of werewolves?"

His charm seemed at first to be working. He was well pleased with himself. Sai's attention suddenly shifted. She pulled her hand from his and went to Alli. She put her arms around her friend and whispered soothingly as Alli sobbed into her shoulder.

"It's okay, Alli... it's okay... it'll all be okay..."

"No..." she sniffed. "I don't understand it. I mean... I understand it, but how can he expect me to... how can I possibly measure up? I can't take the pressure. I'm not good enough. I'm so afraid... I'm so afraid..."

Sai had no idea what was going through Alli's mind, but she suspected that she was comparing herself... possibly to Fea. Unsure of what to say, Sai fell silent. She held Alli as the girl released all of her bottled up emotion through flowing tears.

"Now then," said Sai quietly once Alli had finally stopped weeping. "Didn't that make you feel better?"

"I suppose..." she sniffed, her head on her friend's shoulder. "But even with the emotion gone... I still have to find a way... I still have to... I'll never be able to live unless I see this through. It's too important for me to ignore. I've never felt this way before. I've never felt like I had a purpose... a special role in life. I never thought that I would need Aimè like I do. Who would have ever thought?'

Sai was truly confused now. Surely she meant Mardil? Surely Alli was in love with him and had broken down over his seeming indiscretions with Fea?

"You... you mean Mardil, right dear?" she asked hesitantly.

Alli looked at her and another tear leaked out. She wiped it away impatiently.

"No... I meant Aimè. I must speak with him. And it must be privately... I have so much to tell him."

[Kath]

Sai was now completely, utterly and totally confused. So confused in fact she was even willing to use three words that meant the same thing in one sentence. First she and Alli had walked in on Mardil and Fea doing . . . something. Not being one to judge Sai had been as restrained as possible with Mardil after Alli had run off, and was glad for the reprieve from taking the moral high ground when he presented her with Fea’s book of wolvery. Then there was Fea and her conjuring of past wolves. Sai wasn’t sure whether she had really thought that would help her case or whether she had simply given in to the insane impulses within her. Then Tom with his sickenly charming behaviour toward her. She couldn’t believe she had nearly fallen for it, and had been extremely glad when Alli had suddenly collapsed as it gave her an excuse to get away, even if her escape was accompanied by yet another ominous glare from Fléin.

Not that she was glad Alli had collapsed of course. The poor girl was obviously distraught over something though Sai couldn’t get a word of sense out of her. She had assumed all day that Alli’s foul mood had been caused by the event with Mardil and Fea earlier, as well as having to deal with the two of them on their own. But now she was going on about Aimè and having to get him alone to talk to.

Whatever the case Alli certainly wasn’t going to stay still until she had got what she wanted. Hating to see her friend upset like this Sai pulled Alli to her feet and led her off in the vague direction that she had last seen Aimè heading in. Coming across him after only a few moments she left Alli with him and headed back to the circle, again ignoring the glances the guy was sending her way.

She stood for a while in front of the sticks and stones that had been steadily added to that day, and tried to work out what she should do. There hadn’t been many votes so far and for that she was glad. The fact that their two lynchees the day before had both been innocents had shocked her. She thought it was perhaps a kindness that Nilp was dead, he had seemed a pretty unstable sort of chap, and morm would have continually irritated her until she would have been glad to see him dead, so maybe it was better this way. Nevertheless with who knew how much time they had left in this place (well, except Anakron who didn’t really seem in the mood to share – you could tell he had siblings) she would have preferred that two wolves had died. At the very least she would have felt safer.

Sighing, Sai sat down and waited for Alli to return. While she would never listen in on a private conversation, she did want to know what on earth all this with Aimè was about, and why Alli kept having conversations with thin air. That comment she’d make about trying to look sane had obviously not sunk in, and Sai was sure that a lot of these troubles had begun with the arrival of Fea. Rolling her stone around between her palms, she stared at Fea’s stick, and wondered whether it might be better for all concerned if she were to be lynched today.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Alli spoke hurriedly to Aimè, filling him in on everything that had been going through her head before her epiphany and everything that she was now certain of. She was very relieved that Sai hadn't stuck around... while Illamatar had mentioned her innocence, Alli wasn't yet certain just what her place in the side-plot was. Nevertheless, Alli had hugged her tight before she left, whispering "Thank you." in her ear.

Now she looked at Aimè who seemed a little shell-shocked at the suddenness of everything.

"Does it all make sense now?" she asked.

He looked at her oddly. "No."

She explained it all once more, using smaller words. He looked at her oddly again, using narrower eyes.

"And you're certain of all of this?"

"Yes."

"How do I know that this isn't a joke meant to play me as a fool?"

"You must trust me. No... I would never accept that as proof. Here... a token, to show that I mean what I say."

They chatted for a bit longer, making clear to the general audience that the writer was going to hang on to the suspense as long as possible by keeping details under lock and key.

Aimè held the small object up to the light, keeping it tucked into his palm and out of sight of all others. Finally he smiled and threw his arm around Alli who grinned happily.

"So we'll need a way to let each other know when it happens. Something that people won't expect..."

Aimè pondered for a moment before speaking.

"I love you."

"Pardon?"

"I love you, Alli, I love you. It's a good way of putting it, don't you think?"

"Aimè, it's perfect... especially when you say it in that accent of yours. I don't think I can mimic the accent, but the phrase works quite excellently. And when either of us says it, we'll know for certain, correct? No saying it except unless we really mean it?"

"But you'll know before I will."

"That's true, maybe, but I trust your intuition. You understood the importance of the little fat Italian hobbit before I understood aything. You might just realize other such important things before I do. Shall we practice?"

"I love you, Alli."

"I love you, Aimè."

And so they walked back to the group, their plans still secret, with confident grins and the words "I love you" still floating mysteriously between them.

[littlemanpoet]

Despite what seemed like unfinished business between various members of the village, not to mention of the Offending Party, the sun set.

Anakron rose.

"Feanor of the Peredhil and CaptainofDespair, otherwise known as CoD, have been elected for lynching.

"Before you proceed, I have this to say. All of you assume too much. Now lynch 'em."

Anakron turned with a swish of his cloak and a doff of his wide brimmed hat, and entered the cottage with the sign "Grand Anakaronist" over the door. Nobody had noticed that sign before, but there it was.

"Now then," said Valde, "how do you suppose we should lynch these two?"

Feanor of the Peredhil stood before them. "I would like all of you to know that I am prepared to die. I've been expecting it. I knew all of you couldn't resist. The envy amongst you is palpable. I've got it, and you don't, and you can't have it, so you might as well kill me."

The villagers fell into a rage and attacked her with bared hands, and fought with each other to get at the girl. Finally, quite a few minutes later, they backed away. Mob dynamics left them. Sanity returned. They looked in astonishment at what they had done. It was not pretty. Nor did it swivel back together and turn into a werewolf.

"We had better bury her," Fléin said.

"You get her head," said Mardil, "I'll pick up her arms."

"I got a leg over here!" said Sai, waving it about triumphantly.

"Ugh!" Tom Felton said, and lost his supper.

Once they had retrieved the entire mass of that which had been Feanor, they dug a shallow grave and tossed bits and pieces in until nothing of which was Feanor of the Peredhil was above ground.

"Yuck!" said Wilhelmina. "I need to wash up." Everybody else agreed. They went over to the little pool and saw CoD swimming in circles, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.

"Hey! CoD has to go too!"

"Cook him!" cried Panakeia.

"No! No!" cried CoD. "I don't taste good!"

"How would you know that?" Fléin asked.

"Regardlesh," said the village drunkard, "I shink we all need to get our beauty reshts and shtart off on the right foot tomorrow. Lesh hope that we have a werewolf in CoD."

"But then we'd all have a bit of werewolf in us!" cried Alli. At that very moment, two people popped into view and floated in the air behind Alli, one looking over her left shoulder, the other looking over her right shoulder.

"We do not approve of your behavior, my dear," they intoned in unison.

"Augh!" Alli cried. "Hovering parents!"

"Exactly what have you been up to? Why are you standing on that line?"

Alli looked at the ground where they pointed. Sure enough, there was a line painted white, and she was on the line. Alli rolled her eyes. "Hovering parents. They want to know exactly what you're doing on line. So they stand behind you and watch." She rolled her eyes even more fiercely.

"Sho," said SpaM, "you're one of thoshe offshpring who don't fully undershtand the difficultiesh of being a parent, or that part of being a parent ish a conshtant, never-ending and shometimesh irrational worry over their children, or that when they sheem to be shpoiling your fun they usually only have your besht intereshtishtishtish at heart."

"Oh!" cried Alli. "You must be one of those adults who seem to think that moody teenagers are going to care one whit about the difficulties of being a parent. If they didn't want to worry endlessly, they shouldn't have had kids. So there! No wonder you're in this Illamatar forsaken place!" Then Alli stopped a moment and thought that since she was having visions of Illamatar, it couldn't exactly be considered an Illamatar forsaken place. She closed her eyes tight and forced herself not to think about Illamatarology; it gave her headaches.

"That'sh fine by me," SpaM retorted. "Enough thingsh have been shent here to keep me happily amushed for many a day and I get a break from my kidsh. How'sh that CoD coming? All cooked up?"

"Yes," Panakeia said, "and so far it has stayed fish-meat." She cut up the fish into enough pieces for all the remaining villageres (except Anakron whom she had no intention of feeding), and they partook.

Fish did not turn into werewolf in their stomachs.

The sun finished its descent and night closed in around them.

As Alli walked to the hut she was sleeping in she cast a dour look over her shoulder at SpaM. "We're not done with this discussion, drunkard!" Her parents continued to hover, one on each side. She gave them a black look which could be interpreted as murderous, or just wishing they were somewhere else. They did not leave.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Hookbill wandered aimlessly about the village. This whole thing was very confusing for the little man. Mind you, making the decision between cereal and toast for breakfast was rather confusing for him. The looming gallows cast a cold shadow over him. He felt quite sick.

Eomer dashed past, knocking Hookbill over into the mud. Splat. Slowly he opened his eyes the catch a glimpse of Eomer dashing beyond his sight. Hookbill rose and tried to dust himself off, but only succeeding in spreading the mud around. He sighed and wandered along towards a small gathering.

A hand hit Hookbill on the shoulder quite heavily. He slunk down and covered his eyes saying, "Look, for the last time, I don't know who to vote for! Its all too confusing." the figure shook its head as the little man sat down in the mud and began to slowly rock back and forth.

[littlemanpoet]

Day Three dawned bright and sunny. Well, sunny for Mordor, which meant mostly cloudy with just glimpses once every six hours or so.

The villagers arose and gathered at the village square. It was easy to see who had been killed during the night. These werwolves were nothing if not unoriginal. Tom Felton was hanging from the gallows, all of his fingers and toes removed. He wore no glasses, so apparently the werewolves were responsible for the big, bloody "0" emblazoned on the middle of his forehead.

"Zero?" asked Sai, as confused as ever.

"No werewolvesh?" SpaMi asked.

"Then who killed him?" Mardil said, pointing.

"Anakron!" shouted Fléin. "It had to be! I say we lynch him!"

Cooler heads prevailed, however, and he was reminded that the Grand Anakronist's person was necessary for the Offending Party to achieve its goal.

"But I needed him!" cried Alli. "I had plans for Tom! Now he's dead!" She got all teary eyed and began to murmur unintelligible words to the thin air.

[Encaitare]

"Hello there," Wilhelmina said to Fléin, who looked like he was very deep in thought, though his beard made it hard to discern the subtleties of facial expression. He glanced up at her but said nothing.

She tried again: "Pondering something, then, are we?" Still, he did not reply. "Goodness, someone's feeling a bit introverted today."

"There's nothing wrong with being introverted!" he growled like someone being forced to wear a Christmas sweater with pom-poms on it.

"I never said there was," Wilhelmina said primly.

Fléin asked the question that had been bothering him for some time: "Why did you vote for SPaM?"

The old woman shrugged. "Does there have to be a reason?"

"For stoning someone to death? I'd say there ought to be," he commented, choosing not to bring up the incident some hundred years ago when the Dwarves had approved of the stoning to death of all those who had died prematurely -- eventually they had realized the futility of this action, and chose to stone writers of generic, uninventive Tolkien fanfiction instead.

"I don't like bandwagoning," she told him, fiddling with a feather in her hat. "I like bands very much, and I like wagons just fine, but the two put together often end in disaster. Trumpets falling off the back of the cart and bumps in the road making flutes get stuck through the bass drum and things."

Fléin cracked a sardonic smile. "That's not what bandwagoning is."

"Isn't it? It makes perfect sense to me." Mr. Swanky chose that moment to emerge from Wilhelmina's hat and climb onto Fléin's shoulder.

"Argh! Take him back, Wilhelmina!" he cried. "That animal has no concept of people's personal space!"

"He's just trying to be friendly," she said reproachfully, plucking the ferret from his shoulder. "So what were you pondering, anyway?"

The Dwarf frowned. "Do you think Alli and Sai are lesbians?" he asked gloomily.

Wilhelmina made a scoffing sound that couldn't quite be expressed through the letters of the English alphabet. "Why would you think that?"

"Oh, I don't know..."

She eyed him sternly, completely ignoring the fact that he was rather a bit older than she. "If you've been sitting here imagining those nice young girls doing naughty things, then you can take your fantasies elsewhere, mister."

Fléin spluttered in shock, a sound that also could not be adequately expressed through the English alphabet without afflicting the transcriber with some degree of mental illness. "Of course I wasn't! I was just... never mind." He sighed heavily, feeling very misunderstood. "I hope we don't kill another innocent today."

"Who do you suggest we vote for, then?"

"Actually, I was thinking about something Anakron said. About how we assume too much."

"Oh? Do go on, my dear Dwarf."

[Celuien]

Panakeia spent a troubled night tossing and turning in her sleep. Her dreams were not comforting. Nilp/Adam/Alice floated in a cloud of flying dust, chatting with Mormegil about stone throwing techniques. The fangirls ran behind them, bodies reassembled in curious contortions, legs dangling from their shoulders, arms from the hip. And Elempí was there, looking as fresh as on the first day they met in Dol Gaurgauroth. He grinned.

"Hi. Good to see you again. How have you been? I've been fine. I still think you should change that makeup you're wearing."

"How can you be fine? You're dead. I saw."

Elempí just grinned at her again. "Romance in the air. How sweeeet and rosy. Isn't it great? Wouldn't you like to have one too? Sure you would. Where's Valde?" Panakeia started, though she didn't know why. There was something odd about Elempí's statement, other than the fact that he was supposed to be dead and that Valde was none of his business anyway. "I think Anakron's annoying, don't you? Well, I should go. Been nice talking. Bye."

"Wait! There's something I have to ask you." But it was too late. Panakeia awoke. "What a strange dream," she murmured. She unbarred the door to her room and walked out into the gloomy village square, only to discover the latest casualty. And she started to sob. "It's just no good, no good at all."

SPaM asked, "No werewolvesh?" And then something went 'click' (or was it a snap?) in her head. No werewolves? Is that what he was trying to tell me? Of course, that's it! Her hand flew to her pocket, and she pulled out the Drekkie guide. There, there it is. Episode 56. She started to laugh, a bit unsteadily, but she laughed all the same. She waved the book aloft.

"Look, look everyone! It's all a trick. We're not really here, here isn't really here. Nothing's here. It's all in our heads. Think about it! How could wolves kill all those fangirls without our hearing it? And? And alter-egos don't just materialize out of thin air, then talk after they're dead. All of this is just one of Anakron's tricks." She looked around. The Grand Anakronist's cottage stood to her left. "See. That wasn't there before either. I'm sure of it. How could a cottage show up out of nowhere?" Truthfully, Panakeia didn't know if the cottage had been there or not. But in her present mood, there was no use telling her otherwise.

SPaM tapped Fléin on the shoulder. "I tshink she's gone batty. She should have visithed the tshavern more oftshen."

Panakeia continued to laugh, her voice reaching a high-pitched crescendo. "Look, it's not real. And if it's not real, nothing can hurt us here, right? As long as we believe it isn't real, we'll be fine. I'll prove it." She ran forward, racing for the row of sticks and stones.

"Someone really should stop her," offered Mardil. Valde stepped forward, hurrying to catch her. He arrived just in time to prevent her from casting a vote for herself by grabbing her wrists and dragging her away.

"No, no! Stop that! Don't you see? If we die here, we aren't here anymore. We're there, wherever we really are. But we're not dead, just out. Escaped. I want out!" The last words were a scream.

Fléin snickered. "She has gone batty." SPaM shook his head and took out a bottle of his strongest tequila. "Have shome of thish," he offered. Pointlessly, as it turned out. Exhausted, Panakeia collapsed on the street.

***

Running, running, through the dark. Something frightening, terrifying with claws and teeth, was behind her. There was a dim light ahead, a light that meant safety. Just a few steps more would bring her there. Panakeia entered the circle of light. And found herself standing in front of a burned house with a young girl moving in the charred timbers.

"Oh no, not this again." She looked for a place to hide. Panakeia ducked under a bush and as she did so, a small, warm hand brushed her shoulder from behind. Gasping, she whirled to come face to face with...herself.

"Hello, Panakeia. Been a long time, hasn't it?"

"Wait. You're me?"

"In a manner of speaking. I, my dear, am your conscience. And I am seriously displeased." The younger Panakeia glared.

"Displeased? Whatever for?"

Young Panakeia sighed. "Have you forgotten? Was it that long ago that you, we, vowed never to enter the family business of, of, scamming?" She shuddered in disgust. "And look, just look what you've done to us! And worst of all, what about this latest business in the village? How could you participate in something so horrible? Casting votes for who was to die and who wasn't? You should have just stayed out of the whole thing."

"Well, you haven't exactly done much to stop me."

"No, I haven't. Because you left me here sleeping. Dreaming." She paused. "And what beautiful dreams they were. I stood with a vast company, singing songs of peace, love and brotherhood." She started to sing a little melody. "Come on people now. Smile on your brother. Yes, it was beautiful. Then I heard a strange sound, like a cat crying, and I woke up here to find out about all of your terrible deeds."

A cat? "Anakron!"

"I don't know. But I've been trying to come back to you ever since. I almost succeeded once. The last time you were here. And I've had some influence. Remember when you wanted to rescue Alli? And when you came to Valde's aid? That was me." She smiled in triumph.

"You?"

"Yes. And that's just the beginning. We're going to be back together again. A team."

"I don't know. I've been getting along fine without you all these years."

"Fine? You call this fine? Maybe you don't mind being a charlatan, but I don't like what you've done to our reputation. And I'm going to do something about, like it or not." Young Panakeia came closer to her current self.

"No, no. Leave me alone!" Panakeia shut her eyes tight and struggled to escape through the hedge.

***

Panakeia's eyes reopened to Valde and SPaM leaning over her in Dol Gaurgauroth.