Middle Earth Idol

[Celuien]

Hello. I'm Panakeia, and I'm going to sing a little Schubert for you. This is his most famous song, "Der Erlkönig." The words are from a poem about the King of the Elves as known (or not) in Harad.

Wer reitet so spät durch Nacht und Wind?
Es ist der Vater mit seinem Kind;
Er hat den Knaben wohl in dem Arm,
Er faßt ihn sicher, er hält ihn warm.
(Who rides so late, through night and wind?
It is the father, with his child;
He has the young lad clasped in his arms,
He holds him securely, he holds him warm)

"Mein Sohn, was birgst du so bang dein Gesicht?"
"Siehst, Vater, du den Erlkönig nicht?
Den Erlkönig mit Kron und Schweif?"
"Mein Sohn, es ist ein Nebelstreif."'
("My son, why do you hide your face?"
"Father, don't you see the Elf King?
The Elf King, with his crown and cape tail?"
"My son, it's just a strip of fog.")

"Du liebes Kind, komm, geh mit mir!
Gar schöne Spiele spiel' ich mit dir;
Manch' bunte Blumen sind an dem Strand,
Meine Mutter hat manch gülden Gewand."
("You lovely child, come with me!
So many lovely games I will play with you.
Many colorful flowers are by the shore,
My mother has many golden robes.")

"Mein Vater, mein Vater, und hörest du nicht,
Was Erlenkönig mir leise verspricht?"
"Sei ruhig, bleibe ruhig, mein Kind;
In dürren Blättern säuselt der Wind."
("My father, my father, can't you hear,
The promises the Elf King is whispering to me?"
"Be quiet, stay quiet, my child;
It's just the dry leaves rustling in the wind.")

"Willst, feiner Knabe, du mit mir gehn?
Meine Töchter sollen dich warten schön;
Meine Töchter führen den nächtlichen Reihn,
Und wiegen und tanzen und singen dich ein."
("Fine lad, will you come with me?
My daughters will tend to you;
My daughters will put you to bed every night,
And cuddle and sing and dance you to sleep.")

"Mein Vater, mein Vater, und siehst du nicht dort
Erlkönigs Töchter am düstern Ort?"
"Mein Sohn, mein Sohn, ich seh es genau:
Es scheinen die alten Weiden so grau."
("My father, My father, can't you see over there?
The Elf King's daughters at that dreary place?"
"My son, my son, I see it clearly,
It's just the old willows so grey.")

"Ich liebe dich, mich reizt deine schöne Gestalt;
Und bist du nicht willig, so brauch ich Gewalt."
"Mein Vater, mein Vater, jetzt faßt er mich an!
Erlkönig hat mir ein Leids getan!"
("I love you, your beautiful figure excites me;
And if you're not willing, then I will use force."
"My father, my father, he's grabbing me!
The Elf King has done something terrible to me!")

*At this point, the Barrow-Downs Society of Elf-Friends storms the stage with Anguirel at their head, brandishing a frozen tuna.*

"Have at thee, scoundrel! How dare you spread such lies about the Elves?"

"But it's just a song."

*Anguirel stares threateningly while tapping the fish against his hand. Panakeia whimpers and turns to the judges.*

Umm. In light of the situation, I'd like to withdraw my entry. Instead, I'll sing "Bridge Over Troubled Water." It's a tune by Paul Simon, and I think Sam might have liked to sing it to Frodo.

When you’re weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
I’m on your side. When times get rough
And friends just can’t be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

When you’re down and out,
When you’re near defeat,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
I’ll take your part.
Oh, when darkness comes
And pain is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

Sail along, silver ship,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine
Oh, if you need a friend
I’m sailing right behind.

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.

(EDIT: I hope you don't mind making an appearance, Ang. It seemed appropriate, given our history in a certain other thread. But just give me the word, and I'll take out the reference to you.)

[Anguirel]

No, it's fine...though I was enjoying the Schubert...

[Sleepy Ranger]

Celuien

That performance had no originality! It was plain and boring, a third rate copy. To be honest it was little more than a lame karaoke. If you're not going to take any risks or bring anything new to the table then I doubt you're headed anywhere. You've neither impressed nor convinced me, its a no. Sorry dear.

[Celuien]

*Panakeia's face turns red*
Simon clearly has no ear for music.

Come on judges, you know talent when you see it! I'm going to be a star and I know it.

(PS Thanks, Ang.)

[Glirdan]

Panakeia (Celuien)
You're right! Sleepy has no ear for good music! That was spectacular! Even though it was rather boring and that song isn't one of favorites, you rocked it!! It's a yes girl!

[wilwarin538]

Celuien
I don't care what Sleepy says, I think you were great! I really enjoyed that performance hun'! I'm a yes for sure. Welcome to the semi-finals!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

My song will be Invisible, originally sung by American Idol Season 2 runner-up Clay Aiken. I will sing it with a shrieky Nazgûl-like voice.

If I was invisible
Then I could just steal the Ring from you
If I was invisible
I'll stab your heart tonight
If wraiths weren't scared of fire
Then I would just kill that stinky Man
I would be the strongest Man
If I was invisible
Wait, I already am.

(Shrieks, croaks, and flapping wings were heard approaching Hall of Fire.)

Ringwraith! *gulp* I'm outta here!

[Valesse]

*Grabs Nilp on his way out* What a preformance! Ahh...haha...ha.. *points sternly toward a door which leads to where the other contestants are being held and shrieks.*

With the second stage of the contest well underway the judges were starting to feel a little less frisky compared to what they had been at the end of the prelims, and the same was true for the contestants... if only they kne- er, nevermind.

On a personal note, I'm thankful Sleepy Cowell did not advance to the next round.
How about a commercial?

[Lhunardawen]

Vala, may I sing first?

Hi, I'm Lhuna, and this time I'll be singing Tina Arena's Burn - in a powerful, melodramatic Finduilas voice.

This is for you, my Denethor (whoever you are).


Do you wanna be a poet and write
Do you wanna be an actor up in lights
Do you wanna be a soldier and fight for love

Do you wanna travel the world
Do you wanna be a diver for pearls
Or climb Amon Din and touch its torch above

Be anyone you want to be
Bring to life your fantasies
But I want something in return

I want you to burn, burn for me baby
Like a candle in my night
Oh burn
Burn for me
Burn for me

Are you gonna be a gambler and deal
Are you gonna be a healer and heal
Or go to Meneltarma and touch Manwë's face

Are you gonna be a dreamer who sleeps
Are you gonna be a sinner who weeps
Or a Maia under grace

I'll lay down on your bed of coals
Offer up my heart and soul
But in return

I want you to burn
Burn for me baby
Like a candle in my night
Oh burn burn for me burn for me...

[littlemanpoet]

.... this song is dedicated to all lovers of early 1970s Genesis; please take it in the spirit in which it was meant ... and then go listen to the song for yourself; make sure to set aside a good half hour....

A figure walks onto the stage wearing a grey cloak, his hands behind his back.

"Hi, I'm LMP and I'm feeling really, really ambitious. I shall be performing "Supper's Ready" by Genesis."

The figure pulls from behind his back a staff, raises it high in both hands, and strikes the floor. The lights go out and all is dark. Music begins, and a firelit hall is revealed.

I. Lover's Leap

Frodo to Bilboin a tender Peter Gabriel voice

Walking across the Fire-hall, I hear an Elf sing a quiet song.
Sitting beside you, I look into your eyes.
As the sound of lute and harp fade in the night time,
I swear I see your face change, it doesn't seem quite right.
...And it's hello Bilbo with your Ringwielder eyes so haunted
Hey old Bilbo don't you know our hearts are true.

Aragorn to Arwenin a lover's tones

Coming closer with our dooms, a distance falls around our bodies.
Out in the garden, the moon seems very bright,
Six silvery shrouded Elves move across the lawn slowly.
The seventh walks in front with a ring shining on his hand.
...And it's hey babe your supper's waiting for you.
Hey my baby, don't you know our love is true.

Aragorn continuesin a voice filled with pain

I've been so far from here,
Far from your warm arms.
It's good to feel you again,
It's been a long long time. Hasn't it?

II. The Guaranteed Eternal Sanctuary SaruMan

Sarumansinisterly

I know a farmer who looks after the farm.
With water clear, he cares for his harvest.
I know a fireman who looks after the fire...

Gandalf at the Council of Elrondernestly

You! Can't you see he's fooled you all!
Yes, he's traitorous, can't you see he's fooled you all.
Dare his peace,
Sign the lease.
He's a wheels and gears scientist,
He's the guaranteed eternal Orthanc man.
Look, look into my mouth he cries,
And all the children lost down many paths,
I bet my life you'll walk inside
Hand in hand,
gland in gland
With a spoonful of miracle,
He's the guaranteed eternal Orthanc man.

Orcs singing a lullaby in the voices of children, petting and fondling venomous snakes

We will rock you, rock you little snake,
We will keep you snug and warm.

III. Ikhnaton And Itsacon And Their Band Of Merry Men

The Bride of Khazaddúm

Wearing feelings on our faces while our faces took a rest,
We crossed beneath the mountain to see the children of the West,
But we saw a host of dark skinned orcs
standing still below the ground,
Waiting for battle.

The fight's begun, they've been released.
The Balrog comes in a killing mood ..... doom, doom, doom! Doom, doom, doom!
There's Gandalf on the bridge poised without motion,
and I cannot contain my emotion.
And even though I'm feeling doomed,
Something tells me I'd better get well clear of Moria!

The Orcs

Today's a day to celebrate, the foe has met his fate.
The order for rejoicing and dancing has come from our Ringlord.

IV. How Dare I Be So Beautiful?

The Fellowship Grieving

Wandering by the Mirror Mere, the battle is over,
We climb down the mountain,
To a plateau of green grass, and green trees full of life.
An old figure sits still by a pool,
He's been stamped "Hobbit Gollum" by some Ringlord tool.
(He is you)
Sauron's Security took care of this lad.
We watch in reverence, as Narcissus is turned to a flower.
A flower?

The stage goes dark. A foxtrot begins and the sun rises to reveal the Shire, ruffians pushing hobbits about.

V. Cotton's Farm

If you go down to Cotton's Farm,
to look for butterflies, flutterbyes, gutterflies
Open your eyes, it's full of surprise, everyone lies,
like the fox on the rocks,
and the musical box.
Oh, there's Mum & Dad, and good and bad,
and everyone's happy to be here.

There's Old Man Gaffer dressed in drag,
he used to be a Shire wag, plastic bag, what a drag.
The frog was a prince, the prince was a brick, the brick was an egg,
the egg was a bird.

a hobbit lass flees from ruffians

(Fly away you sweet little thing, they're hard on your tail)
Hadn't you heard?
(They're going to change you into a human being!)
Yes, we're happy as fish and gorgeous as geese,
and wonderfully clean in the morning.

We've got everything, we're growing everything,
We've got some in
We've got some out
We've got some wild things floating about
Everyone, we're changing everyone,
you name them all,
We've had them here,
And the real stars are still to appear.

Everybody stops as a voice rings out like a conductor at a train station

ALL CHANGE!

Sharky appears and speaks his spell of words to the hobbits

Feel your body melt;
Mum to mud to mad to dad
Dad diddley off this, Dad diddley off this,
You're all full of ball.

Dad to dam to dum to mum
Mum diddley washing, Mum diddley washing,
You're all full of ball.

Lobelia yells at Sharky

Don't tell me your lies! We're living this up to the eyes!

ruffians mock

Ooee-ooee-ooee-oowaa

Ted Sandyman

Momma I want you now!

Saruman

And as you listen to my voice
To look for hidden doors, tidy floors, more applause.
You've been here all the time,
Like it or not, like what you got,
You're under the soil (the soil, the soil),
Yes, deep in the soil (the soil, the soil, the soil, the soil!).
So we'll end with a whistle whistle sounds and end with a bang BANG
and all of us fit in our places.

VI. Apocalypse In 9/8 (Co-Starring the delicious talents of Gabble Ratchet)

Intense keyboard and drums in 9/8 time, 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9, repeated again and again throughout while singer builds to fortississimo

Darkness; the red light - - Mordor; Frodo and Sam struggling across the plain of Gorgoroth, Gollum sneaking behind, crater fires all around

With the guards of Mordor, swarming around,
The Pied Piper takes his children underground.
Dragon coming out of the sea,
Shimmering silver head of wisdom looking at me.
He brings down the fire from the skies,
You can tell he's doing well by the look in human eyes.

Frodo in Sammath Naur, holding the Ring, about to put it on
Sam calls to Frodo

Better not compromise!
It won't be easy!

Gollum attacks Frodo

Six six six is no longer alone,

Gollum bites off Frodo's finger

He's getting out the marrow in your back bone,

Gollum dances and falls into the fire

And the seven trumpets blowing sweet rock and roll,
Gonna blow right down inside your soul.

Mordor quakes; eagles come

Gandalf with his bright cloak reflects the full moon,
In blood, he's writing the lyrics of a brand new tune.

Aragorn to Arwenat Minas Tirith

And it's hey babe, with your guardian eyes so blue,
Hey my baby, don't you know our love is true,
I've been so far from here,
Far from your loving arms,
Now I'm back again, and babe it's gonna work out fine.

VII. As Sure As Eggs Is Eggs (Aching Men's Feet)

the bard sings to the glad crowd gathered

Can't you feel our souls ignite
Shedding ever changing colours, in the darkness of the fading night,
Like the river joins the ocean, as the germ in a seed grows
We have finally been freed to get back home.
There's an Ainur standing in the sun, and he's crying with a loud voice,
"This is the supper of the King returned",
Elessar,
King of Hope,
Has returned to rule his children here,
To lead them in the new Minas Anor!

The sun shines upon the Elessar upon the brow of Elessar, crowned; the crowd roars. Arwen is crowned and stands before the host seeming like a new Luthien; the music builds to a crescendo then fades as the light fades, and music and light fade together until LMP stands alone under a single spotlight, cloaked and hooded.End.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Alright, since we have 13 girls and 11 guys I decided that we should stick to random groups. The main reason for this is because I'm too lazy to change the groups now that they're made. I wish the contestants luck!

Remember the Semi-Finals begin on the first of May and continue till the fifth of May after which the voting rules will be posted. I'll let Vala expand on this.

Group 1

Diamond18
Lote22
The Only Real Estel
Mithalwen
Morai
Gurthang
Kath
Nogrod
Nilpaurion Felagund AKA William
Alc - I mean Steve
Hookbill the Goomba
Orominuialwen

Group 2

The Saucepan Man
Folwren
THE Ka
Celuien
Legolas in Spandex
Anguirel
Boromir88
Lhunardwen
Caranlondien
JennyHallu
Elu Ancalime
Littlemanpoet

Good luck contestants!

EDIT: The groups are in no particular order, you may sing whenever between the 30th of April (Though its 1st May for me) and 5th of May.

[Sleepy Ranger]

I believe I shall announce the official beginning of the semi-finals (a bit early but yeah...)

Here are the rules (subject to a bit of tinkering but not till the end of this round);

---
With 24 contestants lined up inside of the Hall of Fire, the real competition was about to begin. Wisely, none of them had asked the elves if they were on key during any of the several hours of practice allowed to them because this would have only resulted in a resounding no-yes, which has notoriously wasted lots of people's time.

RULES:

-The remaining 24 will be divided into two groups of 12 at random. The lowest 2 vote recievers from each group will be eliminated at the end of every round.

- Viewers (or other Barrowdowns members) are now the deciding force in who advances and who does not. This phase will continue until 12 contestants remain, they will be your finalists.

- The voting will be confidential, and a link will be provided, However, as in immortal idol, voting blindly is discouraged. The link will not be posted until the end of each preformance-round.

- At this stage the competition is open themed and contestants may sing anything they wish to.

- Contestants are allowed to vote but are requested not to vote for themselves.

Good luck contestants! Round 1 of the Semi-Finals has begun!

EDIT: Note to judges, post everyones judgement after all performances are over.

[THE Ka]

Greetings again, I hope that I might not be too much of a bother, but time allows me but short pleasure today and I must be swift!

This song I'm about to sing is about a couple of adult people, that have spent, oh, quite a long time together, until one of their fates get restless and they eventually have to leave. Whither it's a dragon or orcs is unimportant, it's a man's journey. It's a lovely marriage of words and music written by Stephen Sondheim, that I've adapted for Turin, a man who really needed a break, but fate wouldn't budge. I hope you enjoy.


Isn't it rich, are we a pair?
Me here at last above the ground,
You under the soil.
Send in the Orcs.

Isn't it bliss, don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move.
Where are the Orcs?
Send in the Orcs.

Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours.
Making my entrance again with my usual flair,
Sure of my sword,
No one is there.

Don't you love tragedy?
My fault I fear,
I thought that you'd want what I want,
Sorry my dear,
But where are the Orcs?
Send in the Orcs,
Don't bother, they're here.

Isn't it rich, isn't it queer?
Losing my life this late in my career,
But where are the Orcs?
there ought to be Orcs,
Well, maybe next year…


Thank you Ladies and Gentlemen.
Takes a customary bow for Sinatra and quiety walks off stage...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

*Reluctantly, Hookbill is cast onto the stage by a roadie. He stands up and clears his throat. He ducks just in time as a glass bottle flies over his head and smashes on the wall behind him*

Hello... Yes... Its me again... *some grumbling from the audience*. I'm going to sing a little song that you may well know. Its a song by the Great Dwarf minstrel "Pínk Flóyd" and it's called "Money"... Thank you. *Another glass bottle fly's past Hookbill's head*.

****

Money! Get away.
Get a good axe with good grip and you're okay.
Money, it's a gas.
Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash.
New helm, caviar, four star daydream,
Think I'll buy me a Mining team.

Money, get back.
I'm all right Jáck keep your hands off of my stack.
Money, it's a hit.
Don't give me that do goody good elf pit.
I'm in the high-fidelity first class travelling set
And I think I need a Hobbit.

Money, it's a crime.
Share it fairly but don't take a slice of my pie.
Money, so they say
Is the root of all evil today. (Whispers: Apart from Melko)
But if you ask for a raise its no surprise that they're
Giving none away.

Away...

Away!!!

***

*"Wish you'd go away!" shouts someone from the crowd before a breeze block hits Hookbill in the face... He is then dragged off*

[Sleepy Ranger]

Sleepy Cowell's Thoughts On The Semi-Finalists

Diamond18
I didn't like her performance, she started weak and ended weak. She can sing but it will take a lot of hard work from her to actually make it anywhere from here.
---

Lote22
I'm not sure why shes here, I definately didn't let her in. She thinks she is good but no, I don't like her at all. Her audition was one of the worst I've seen.
---

The Only Real Estel
Our token rocker, I believe he may be rather limited due to his genre of choice. However lets see what he can do.
---

Mithalwen
She has got potential, definately. She has a soft and pleasent voice, however if she makes an album out of that the only thing it'll be good for is curing insomnia.
---

Morai
Shes an average singer but has good delivery. If she can stick to her basics, and improve on what she knows I think she'll do alright.
---

Gurthang
He can pick good songs and he can sing them well. I trust in his skill and shall say that he will be one of our finalists.
---

Kath
She has a good voice but in the audition she just lost it in the middle. She missed a note and her entire performance fell apart. The key to being a good performer is improvisation.
---

Nogrod
He has no personality at all. This is not just about the singing, it is also about showing the right attitude and radiating the right feeling. He has no charisma, people won't remember him no matter how good he sings.
---

Nilpaurion Felagund AKA William
William, I believe, brings a whole new flavor to the competition. He knows what songs suit his voice and he exploits his talents to the fullest. Knowing what you can do is definately a bonus.
---

Alc - I mean Steve
Alcarillo, I believe, is a good singer though when he gets over-confident he tends to sing out of tune. If he can keep his emotions in check he'll go a long way.
---

Hookbill the Goomba
I like him, he can sing well and definately shows promise. He has a few problems with confidence and when he first sang I could tell he needed help. Hopefully he took my advice because I can really see him going far.
---

Orominuialwen
She shows promise and has some talent, with some work she could be on her way to fame. Lets see how she does here, on the big stage.
---

The Saucepan Man
Ah, Saucepan Man! A talented singer no doubt but he has no fashion sense at all. I mean who wears pans to... to... well anywhere! I think hes just trying to be gimmicky to get the kiddie vote.
---

Folwren
Best female vocalist in this competition, as simple as that. She has amazing talent and an amazing range, she has a bright future ahead of her and I wouldn't be surprised if she went on to win this.
---

THE Ka
She has plenty of potential and talent but I don't think she looks like the kind that would take a risk. And we all know if you're not willing to take a chance, and just keep giving safe performances the crowd will get bored.
---

Celuien
Shes in the wrong contest, karaoke queen is next door.
---

Legolas in Spandex
I'm not sure why she is where she is. She has a terrible voice and really has no clue what shes doing. It was very poor judging that let her in.
---

Anguirel
He can definately sing, good voice, good presentation. He had all his bases covered, however does he have consistency? If he does then I believe we may just have found our winner.
---

Boromir88
He has a very good voice and in his comfort zone he can flourish. He can hit the notes others can only imagine, if he can show this kind of performance in a broader range then he has it made.
---

Lhunardwen
She has talent and I admire her courage, she took a risk and managed to keep her head surfaced. I would really like to see her sing something easier this time round. I'm confident she may cause some damage.
---

Caranlondien
She is good but she showed a lot of nervousness and you began to song terribly. The beginning was pathetic and I didn't like it at all.
---

JennyHallu
She has some talent, its kind of latent and her voice is kind of shak and theres plenty of pitch problems. I can't see her going too far in this competition.
---

Elu Ancalime
He has a bland and monotonous voice, I'd rather listen to a hen than him. It really was that boring, I'm not sure why I gave him a yes in the auditions, I don't think he deserves to be here.
---

Littlemanpoet
His voice shows great maturity and he brings in talent and experience with age. I believe he has a good chance of making it far. I really enjoyed his audition, it definately helped change the pace of things.