The Barrow Downs Newspaper

[Inziladun]

Who knew that about Guinevere?
I'll have to watch my step on P of F from now on

[Morthoron]

To the so-called Editor:

I must again vehemently protest your staff's annoying lack of mentioning me in your inane paper. It has been several issues now, and I have not been linked to iceberg lettuce sinking shrimp boats, cows that lack udder sense, or Scotland Yard's dandelion problems. How can I adequately complain about the infuriatingly nonsenical manner in which you portray yourself as a purported print purveyor, providing puerile press for the pathetic public, if I can't get worked up about anything? Your lack of providing me with a reason to attack you is preposterous! In fact, the provocative manner in which you are not attacking me is in itself a provocation. Stop it this instant!

Yours affectionately,
Morthoron
Dark Elf of Note

[Laurinquë]

That's not to mention the giant, mad sandwich monster sat in the Withywindle flailing its tentacles around in the air for no reason.

Dear me. Where was I during all of this? I always seem to miss the weekly destruction of the Barrow-Downs. I really ought to give Tom Bombadil a break from his daily harassment for a while and pay more attention to the local news.

Oh yes, and I was also wondering if you were looking for any article submissions Hookbill; the most extraordinary things happened over at TGEW's barrow the other night. I think they would make for a good article.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Laurinquë

Oh yes, and I was also wondering if you were looking for any article submissions Hookbill; the most extraordinary things happened over at TGEW's barrow the other night. I think they would make for a good article.

I'm always open to submissions. They make me so happy!

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Originally Posted by Laurinquë

Dear me. Where was I during all of this? I always seem to miss the weekly destruction of the Barrow-Downs. I really ought to give Tom Bombadil a break from his daily harassment for a while and pay more attention to the local news.

Oh yes, and I was also wondering if you were looking for any article submissions Hookbill; the most extraordinary things happened over at TGEW's barrow the other night. I think they would make for a good article.

Yes, you should stop, ever since Tom Bombadil first came to your house, things have really gotten out of hand. Coming through a rift in time and space can be tiring work, you know.

Extraordinary things happened at my barrow? What about the things that happened at your barrow?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It's been an interesting ride. We went from a lost job, a crazy investigation to a secret group and a power crazed Fish Man. What could be next for The Phantom and Alien? Where in the world will they go?

Fans, Romans, country men, I present to you the FINALE of volume two. Almost a year in the making, this story was designed to excite, entertain and induce vomiting. I hope it has done all of these things and more.

Now, to round off this fine volume, the longest P&A comic EVER!



Feel free to go back and re-read the whole story;
COMIC ARCHIVE

Next week, we see the start of a new adventure for Phanston and Ailsbry. See you all then. I may be redesigning the P&A website to coincide with volume three, by the way. So... look out for that.
I think I'll be going back to the once-a-week slot for a few weeks now. Mainly because Volume three isn't finished yet. So... Here's a reminder of what's coming up;

11th May - A special three-part Phanston and Ailsbry
1 st June - Special comics drawn up by other Downers.
22nd June - Volume 3 prologue
29th June - Volume 3 episode one!

Thanks for all your support throughout volume two. It always keeps me going.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

You are welcome, Hookbill... but you honestly can't end the Volume 2 like that?

But anyway, great it is! (And here I especially like the part with SpM. Especially the second frame. Cool! And I like even the parts with phantombot and with Lommy... and Phantom's discuise, of course.)

Looking forward to whatever is to come now

[Formendacil]

The cliffhanger to end all cliffhangers.

You could spend an entire volume answering any one of the lingering questions:

Is Alien dead?

How does the phantom die?

Will the phantom REALLY die?

Who put the jelly in SPM's house?

Who becomes Downs Chancellor?

Who's the detective wight?

and... more importantly....

When do I get a(nother) cameo?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Formendacil

Who put the jelly in SPM's house?

There IS a clue. Check SPM's last appearance in the series.

Originally Posted by Formendacil

When do I get a(nother) cameo?

Volume 3. And quite a substantial one at that.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

There IS a clue. Check SPM's last appearance in the series.

I just thought that we need a concordance. Something like "SpM. See Vol. 1 eps. # ..., ..., .... Vol. 2 eps..." etc. Would be quite useful

Other good uses, not just for characters:

"Vomiting. See also John Fillis."

"Annoyance - Pure: See Alien. - Common: See random."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It's time for a truly horrible newspaper!



Now the adventure continues in the supposedly exciting third volume prequel of The Phantom and Alien!
Today, Formy's church has been blown up by Alien. What will he do about it?



Wasn't that great?

Catch up on previous episodes in THE COMIC ARCHIVE.

Come back on Thursday for John Fillis - Part 1!!

[wilwarin538]

I love that Rune only has one fang.

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

What? I am not delusional!
I must complain to this week's paper, it makes me look like some sort of idiot! I like the Downer better!

Besides, I didn't realise it was Hookbill until too late!


I like the fact that Formy's sleeves are ripped off after the explosion but he doesn't seem to be hurt...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by TheGreatElvenWarrior

I like the fact that Formy's sleeves are ripped off after the explosion but he doesn't seem to be hurt...

Well, presumably he was hurt, but he's tough enough to live through it. After all, one doesn't live with lego everywhere for so long without learning to deal with pain (specifically, stepping on lego blocks in bare feet. Owch!)

A little bit on an inside story on P&A3. The process of making each episode is somewhat laborious. More than the previous ones. First of all, I have empty templates I printed off onto which I do sketches of what I want to happen in each episode. You can see one of these in early development here.
Then I hand said sketch on to my brother for digitalising. He draws it up to my specifications and I give it a once-over to check it's as I want it. He then e-mails me the picture and I put the text in using Image composer.

We spent a lot of time wondering about the text, actually. I almost gave them speech bubbles. We decided against it because it took up to much space and I felt it distracted from a lot of the background funny stuff.

What do you think?

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

Well, presumably he was hurt, but he's tough enough to live through it. After all, one doesn't live with lego everywhere for so long without learning to deal with pain (specifically, stepping on lego blocks in bare feet. Owch!)

I get what you mean, stepping on legos hurts like Angband! We used to have them all over the floor of our house, but I haven't taken my legos out for a while, so we haven't had that problem...

A little bit on an inside story on P&A3. The process of making each episode is somewhat laborious. More than the previous ones. First of all, I have empty templates I printed off onto which I do sketches of what I want to happen in each episode. You can see one of these in early development here.
Then I hand said sketch on to my brother for digitalising. He draws it up to my specifications and I give it a once-over to check it's as I want it. He then e-mails me the picture and I put the text in using Image composer.

Wow! I am even more greatful for Phantom and Alien now (If that is even possible)! Why so much work to please people who only know you on a Tolkien discussion forum, Hookbill? It is very nice of you!

We spent a lot of time wondering about the text, actually. I almost gave them speech bubbles. We decided against it because it took up to much space and I felt it distracted from a lot of the background funny stuff.

I think you're right about the speech bubbles. They are a bit distracting. Even though the text is a little bit difficult to read at times...

[Oddwen]

Originally Posted by wilwarin538

I love that Rune only has one fang.

Might it be drool?

[Eönwë]

Nice self-promotion by the Downy Mail.

[wilwarin538]

Originally Posted by Oddwen

Might it be drool?

I suppose it could, drool in the shape of a fang...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Okay everyone, prepare to question everything you thought you knew about John Fillis!



I hope you're shocked.

Keep up with Volume three here: THE ARCHIVE!

Come back on Monday to see how this little exchange ends!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It's Phalian time again!!

We return to Alien and his constant annoying of Formy. Poor bloke.



Keep up with the story using;

THE COMIC ARCHIVE
OF DOOMY DOOOM!!

Come back on Monday to see how Peter and John get along at the Bus Company! It's sure to be the start of a great adventure...

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

No flamethrowers? That's it, Alien's life is ruined!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It's Thursday, it's Phalien time!!



Don't forget to catch up on P & A at;

THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN'S
WEBSITE OF DOOOOOOM!

Alien's sick affects everything except hats and glasses apparently.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Not double posted on this thread for a while. Must be my brithday... Wait... No it isn't. Oh well.



Now, after weeks of waiting, we get our first proper look at the elusive Miss Collins, owner of Beef Buses. She's also Alien's mother.



If you're lost, you can check back on the previous episodes to make sense of all of this:

THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING!!

On Thursday, Formy is continuously baffled by how Alien seems to be helping him cope with the Soap Pope. Oh the humanity! Poor Cardinal Mardinal, what will he do?

[Eönwë]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

Not double posted on this thread for a while. Must be my brithday... Wait... No it isn't. Oh well.

It's because people are too tired from laughing to post. Well done again, Hookbill!

[narfforc]

Good job that Baby Theoden didn't go to his ancesters, the food would be a bit mouldy.

[Laurinquë]

Great Downer this week Hookbill! It was, er, lovely.

I should give my praise to Volo too, your levitation skills are improving! You'll have to give me a lesson sometime; we'll get on quite well I think, both of us being anile youths and all.

And no Hookbill, there aren't any Downers you haven't yet insulted.

[Eönwë]

Gráfmüƨt?

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Originally Posted by Eönwë

Gráfmüƨt?

Oh, I love this. My favourite F&S quote by far (including the first part of the "dialogue" which Eönwë put in his post title so I can't quote it).

Anyway, I have to remark that I was most delighted to see this episode (and also amused to see poor Lottie's shock ). These two guys really have to appear more often... Moldutch, sorry, I wanted to say Hookbill (for the record, the mistake was genuine. I have decided to keep it), I don't know how it happened, but F&S somehow became legendary even among some of my youngest cousin's classmates (having not been at home for eight months, I was suddenly told that they have been spending some afternoons out quoting "Fungoltch and Shcmurt save Christmas", so...)

[Pitchwife]

Great one, Hookbill!

I absolutely second Legate's demand for more F&S appearances in the future.*

And Lottie, if you're looking for a scientific explanation, my guess would be that FutureAlien's time-travels caused a rift in the continuum that allowed Fungoltch unt Shcmurt to cross over from their parallel universe into P&A's... but I suppose that makes far too much sense, and anyway, who really cares?

*(Personal note on why I like them so much: about twenty years ago, my best friend and me collaborated on a quasi-dadaistic conlang that looked and [presumably] sounded uncannily like the dialogues from F&S, only with less diacritics and non-Latin characters. If you think the phonology was weird, you don't want to hear about the semantics...)

[Loslote]

*is not getting the jokes and is okay with that*

[wilwarin538]

Originally Posted by Loslote

*is not getting the jokes and is okay with that*

ditto. I have no clue what language that's supposed to be, haha.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

And now the Phantom and Alien Noir

ENJOY!

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though...

VOLUME 1 | VOLUME 2 | VOLUME 3 | VOLUME 4
The Phantom and Alien Facebook Page!

Sorry for this being late! I was away on Sunday and have been busy today! Hopefully this isn't too bad.
Aganzir will be in your nightmares from now on after this episode, I hope.

[Galadriel55]

Yay Aganzir!

And all hail the Phantom, King of the Cereal Boxes and Rubber Bands!

[Aganzir]

Peter Hampton joins the Movember movement!

Also, I'm hot and I like my teeth.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

For those of you who are not terrified by Aganzir, here is a picture my brother did of her character as a special postery type thing...



(Yes there is a less 'toned down' version on FaceBook if you're not squeamish )

[Galadriel55]

Some lovely lunch you got there, Agan!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Tabloidal news this week from the most credible source of facts, THE BARROW!

And now the Phantom and Alien Noir

ENJOY!

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though...

VOLUME 1 | VOLUME 2 | VOLUME 3 | VOLUME 4
The Phantom and Alien Facebook Page!

Regular Downer News will return next week!
For now, you can go over to the P&A facebook page and see the special Phalian Christmas art that was made! It's fun!

[Galadriel55]

Don't know how many issues? That's an issue!

I just had an aha moment. Phantom is a scramble of Hampton! I'm really slow.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

And now the Phantom and Alien Noir

ENJOY!

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though...

VOLUME 1 | VOLUME 2 | VOLUME 3 | VOLUME 4
The Phantom and Alien Facebook Page!

[Galadriel55]

Aganzir facepalm: best P&A scene yet!