*The Barrow-Downs Official Birthday Newspaper* - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

The Might · 05-03-2007, 12:10 PM

The Downer managed to acquire another picture, which proves beyond doubt the existence of a link between the Cat Mafia with the Corleone family.
Also, yesterday one of Serious' long time cat friends was found badly injured in a dark alley. Coincidence? We think not...

piosenniel · 05-03-2007, 02:13 PM

From the 'Classifieds'

Come on down if you got the notion!

* Party at the Bird and Baby *

Happy BD, B-D

Bêthberry · 05-03-2007, 08:17 PM

The Downer has exhaustively examined these allegations of feline fellonies and the disappearance of Serious Cat. Crack investigative reporter, Fedora Cat, seen below, has produced the following report.

Fedora Cat:

Notwithstanding that it is extremely difficult to infiltrate the secret society of Cafia, it is still possible to ascertain some information of the actions and behaviours of the members of this secret society that threatens to overrun the Downs. First of all, we find a definite predilection for playing not pianos, but violins.

However, these musical instruments are a ruse to hide the most violent forms of assault known in this country. Here is the formerly peaceful violin-playing cat showing his true colours:

Yet even more nefarious are those feline fellons behind the scene who engage in the worst sort of conspiracy against the happily Dead. I refer to those planners, the catsigliori, who mastermind the overtaking of the barrow:

Thankfully, however, all was not lost in this case. The Downs can commend DCI Eomer of Scotland Yardarm for his swift action in uncovering this cell by the efficient caterwauling of his national musical instrument.

The Downs remains a safe barrow in which to celebrate another day.

Oddwen · 05-03-2007, 09:16 PM

To our reader(s):

It is a great occasion that we write you on; the birthday of a most illustrious forum dedicated to an illustrious and wonderful work, and also another anniversary to be celebrated, namely, the Coming of Age of our Great and now Official newspaper.

We wished to take this moment to beg a boon of our reader(s). While our policy has always been "We'll Print Anything Vaguely Interesting We Get In The Mail, All Of It, No Really We Mean Anything", we take great pains to not run the same story twice (without changing a few names, anyway).

In short, the phantom, will you please stop sending us six pages a week reading nothing but "The Lord Of The Rings And I Are Awesome". We will never get anywhere (important or controversial enough) by continuously stating the obvious.

Thank you,
The Editor

Durelin · 05-06-2007, 02:52 PM

Woopsies, forgot: The original putting Leonidas' head on that particular cat was not done by me.

Bêthberry · 05-06-2007, 07:25 PM

To: Editor
From: Fedora Cat
Subject: Mewlitzer Prizes

Chief,

The quality of submissions to the Downer of late has been substantial, so substantial that the acclamation of Newspaper of the Year seems an inadequate designation.

Has our publisher initiated any contacts with potential patrons who could underwrite Mewlitzer Prizes as awards for the outstanding contributions to journalism which our writers clearly merit?

Clearly, who would have thought that flogging a Serious cat could produce humour?

Yours,
a cryptic 'ora

Bêthberry · 05-12-2007, 10:17 AM

Good thing this thread quieted down because ...

05-03-2007, 02:13 PM	#2
piosenniel Desultory Dwimmerlaik Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Pickin' flowers with Bill the Cat..... Posts: 7,779	From the 'Classifieds' Come on down if you got the notion! * Party at the Bird and Baby * Happy BD, B-D __________________ Eldest, that’s what I am . . . I knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless - before the Dark Lord came from Outside.

05-03-2007, 08:17 PM	#3
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 6,003	St. Barrow's Day Massacre Averted The Downer has exhaustively examined these allegations of feline fellonies and the disappearance of Serious Cat. Crack investigative reporter, Fedora Cat, seen below, has produced the following report. Fedora Cat: Notwithstanding that it is extremely difficult to infiltrate the secret society of Cafia, it is still possible to ascertain some information of the actions and behaviours of the members of this secret society that threatens to overrun the Downs. First of all, we find a definite predilection for playing not pianos, but violins. However, these musical instruments are a ruse to hide the most violent forms of assault known in this country. Here is the formerly peaceful violin-playing cat showing his true colours: Yet even more nefarious are those feline fellons behind the scene who engage in the worst sort of conspiracy against the happily Dead. I refer to those planners, the catsigliori, who mastermind the overtaking of the barrow: Thankfully, however, all was not lost in this case. The Downs can commend DCI Eomer of Scotland Yardarm for his swift action in uncovering this cell by the efficient caterwauling of his national musical instrument. The Downs remains a safe barrow in which to celebrate another day. __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.

05-03-2007, 09:16 PM	#4
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	From the Editor (or an editor of her own posts, anyway...) To our reader(s): It is a great occasion that we write you on; the birthday of a most illustrious forum dedicated to an illustrious and wonderful work, and also another anniversary to be celebrated, namely, the Coming of Age of our Great and now Official newspaper. We wished to take this moment to beg a boon of our reader(s). While our policy has always been "We'll Print Anything Vaguely Interesting We Get In The Mail, All Of It, No Really We Mean Anything", we take great pains to not run the same story twice (without changing a few names, anyway). In short, the phantom, will you please stop sending us six pages a week reading nothing but "The Lord Of The Rings And I Are Awesome". We will never get anywhere (important or controversial enough) by continuously stating the obvious. Thank you, The Editor __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door Last edited by Oddwen; 05-04-2007 at 03:36 AM. Reason: See? I am The Editor...

05-06-2007, 02:52 PM	#5
Durelin Estelo dagnir, Melo ring Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3,063	Woopsies, forgot: The original putting Leonidas' head on that particular cat was not done by me. Last edited by Durelin; 05-06-2007 at 03:50 PM.

05-06-2007, 07:25 PM	#6
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 6,003	Downer memo To: Editor From: Fedora Cat Subject: Mewlitzer Prizes Chief, The quality of submissions to the Downer of late has been substantial, so substantial that the acclamation of Newspaper of the Year seems an inadequate designation. Has our publisher initiated any contacts with potential patrons who could underwrite Mewlitzer Prizes as awards for the outstanding contributions to journalism which our writers clearly merit? Clearly, who would have thought that flogging a Serious cat could produce humour? Yours, a cryptic 'ora __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.

05-12-2007, 10:17 AM	#7
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 6,003	Goomba alert! Good thing this thread quieted down because ... __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.