The Dark Elf File - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Morthoron · 07-03-2007, 07:34 PM

Expose #2: Morthoron the Dark Elf learns how to dissemble from Grima Wormtongue

The Dark Elf: Good evening, Mr. Wormtongue!

Grima Wormtongue: *Looking rather incredulous* Good? For whom? When you say "good" are you referring to a moral state? Or are you merely satisfied in the fact that one of your enemies has been poisoned?

TDE: Ummm....well...it is a pleasant evening.

GW: *Sulks silently*

TDE: Okay then, Mr. Wormtongue...

GW: It's Grima! Only my enemies would use such a horrid and utterly inapt title as Wormtongue! And they're out there, believe me. Lurking about like vultures waiting for the kill. Vultures and gossips! whispering, yes they're whispering, They're doing so even now, I am sure. And after all I've done for Rohan! Here am I, a mere servant of my masters...errr...master...singular....heh....move on, please.

TDE: Ummm....right....Let's get to the point, shall we? There's has been much talk about treason...

GW: Yes treason! Can you believe that ungrateful Eomer? Ever slinking about causing havoc with his damnable horses! Horses, horses, horses...Mearas, Mearas, Mearas....everywhere! I'm sick to death of the smell of horses and the traitors that ride them! Eomer the pious! Eomer the faithful! Eomer ever the fly in the ointment, wrecking our plans...errr...Saruman's plans....evil....plans...not my plans...I don't know where you got that idea from.

TDE: Hmmm...When I spoke of treason, I meant yours.

GW: *Wipes sweat from brow and chuckles* My? Treason? I am sure I do not know what you're talking about.

TDE: Well, it seems that Theoden was rather hale and robust until you became his...ummm....what exactly is your title?

GW: *Sticks nose up with an air of indignance* As I stated, I am but a mere servant of the king. But our majesty has recently given me the title of Grima, High Exalted Protector of the Realm, Lord Counselor Extraordinaire and Grand Vizier of all Matters Great and Small -- the First -- it's hereditary.

TDE: Impressive. The King gave you that title?

GW: Certainly! Why wouldn't he? I have the edict right here! *Pulls out an embossed parchment with title in gold signed with King's scrawl and royal stamp*

TDE: *Shrugs* Nice. Perhaps you should frame...

GW: Frame? Frame! I haven't framed anyone! Eomer deserved his banishment! I was following the will of the King. I have the edict right here...

TDE: Errr...that won't be necessary. Now let's get back to YOUR treason.

GW: *Bites his lip pensively* No...I believe you are wrong. Define treason. Who exactly am I being treasonous against? Certainly not my master.

TDE: Ahhh, but that's it, Grima: who exactly is your master?

GW: *Taps table, hums nervously* Well, isn't it obvious?

TDE: Obviously not.

GW: Yes, obviously not! And there you have it.

TDE: Huh? Have what?

GW: Have it! If you're not going to pay attention, I will stop answering your gossip-laden antagonizations!

TDE: *Rolls eyes* There is talk about you poisoning the King.

GW: Again with the gossip! Look, the King is a sick man; certainly he needs medication, but he is not being poisoned! If he were being poisoned, don't you think I would know about it?

TDE: Yes, it seems he was quite robust until you came to power.

GW: Power? I have no power except for what the King has labored me with! It's a tough job wielding the power from behind the throne...I mean behind the king...for the king, behind him...following him...of course.

TDE: And what of Saruman?

GW: *Upper lip quivers, starts sweating profusely* Why, I've never heard of that wizard!

TDE: Then how do you know he's a wizard?

GW: Who is a wizard?

TDE: The wizard Saruman!

GW: Oh...that Saruman! Nice fellow. Loves Rohan. Great ally and beloved master...of colors...master of colors...always well dressed, don't you know.

TDE: There is talk that you are his mole.

GW: Well, we can rule that out right now. Moles are small mammals that live underground and have poor eyesight. Obviously I am not a mole. The whole idea is preposterous!

TDE: What I mean is a mole: a traitorous spy hidden in the enemy camp!

GW: That's downright silly! I don't believe moles have the wherewithal to spy. And who would they spy on? Badgers?

TDE: *Rolls eyes again* This is getting us nowhere!

GW: Precisely my thought, After all, the good Professor despised analogies, so making sinister spies out of small, subterranean mammals would be like...

TDE: Making mountains out of molehills?

GW: Precisely! Oh, would you like some nice herbal tea? I've just brewed a pot for His Majesty...

07-03-2007, 07:34 PM	#2
Morthoron Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits Posts: 2,515	Expose #2: Morthoron the Dark Elf learns how to dissemble from Grima Wormtongue The Dark Elf: Good evening, Mr. Wormtongue! Grima Wormtongue: Looking rather incredulous Good? For whom? When you say "good" are you referring to a moral state? Or are you merely satisfied in the fact that one of your enemies has been poisoned? TDE: Ummm....well...it is a pleasant evening. GW: Sulks silently TDE: Okay then, Mr. Wormtongue... GW: It's Grima! Only my enemies would use such a horrid and utterly inapt title as Wormtongue! And they're out there, believe me. Lurking about like vultures waiting for the kill. Vultures and gossips! whispering, yes they're whispering, They're doing so even now, I am sure. And after all I've done for Rohan! Here am I, a mere servant of my masters...errr...master...singular....heh....move on, please. TDE: Ummm....right....Let's get to the point, shall we? There's has been much talk about treason... GW: Yes treason! Can you believe that ungrateful Eomer? Ever slinking about causing havoc with his damnable horses! Horses, horses, horses...Mearas, Mearas, Mearas....everywhere! I'm sick to death of the smell of horses and the traitors that ride them! Eomer the pious! Eomer the faithful! Eomer ever the fly in the ointment, wrecking our plans...errr...Saruman's plans....evil....plans...not my plans...I don't know where you got that idea from. TDE: Hmmm...When I spoke of treason, I meant yours. GW: Wipes sweat from brow and chuckles My? Treason? I am sure I do not know what you're talking about. TDE: Well, it seems that Theoden was rather hale and robust until you became his...ummm....what exactly is your title? GW: Sticks nose up with an air of indignance As I stated, I am but a mere servant of the king. But our majesty has recently given me the title of Grima, High Exalted Protector of the Realm, Lord Counselor Extraordinaire and Grand Vizier of all Matters Great and Small -- the First -- it's hereditary. TDE: Impressive. The King gave you that title? GW: Certainly! Why wouldn't he? I have the edict right here! Pulls out an embossed parchment with title in gold signed with King's scrawl and royal stamp TDE: Shrugs Nice. Perhaps you should frame... GW: Frame? Frame! I haven't framed anyone! Eomer deserved his banishment! I was following the will of the King. I have the edict right here... TDE: Errr...that won't be necessary. Now let's get back to YOUR treason. GW: Bites his lip pensively No...I believe you are wrong. Define treason. Who exactly am I being treasonous against? Certainly not my master. TDE: Ahhh, but that's it, Grima: who exactly is your master? GW: Taps table, hums nervously Well, isn't it obvious? TDE: Obviously not. GW: Yes, obviously not! And there you have it. TDE: Huh? Have what? GW: Have it! If you're not going to pay attention, I will stop answering your gossip-laden antagonizations! TDE: Rolls eyes There is talk about you poisoning the King. GW: Again with the gossip! Look, the King is a sick man; certainly he needs medication, but he is not being poisoned! If he were being poisoned, don't you think I would know about it? TDE: Yes, it seems he was quite robust until you came to power. GW: Power? I have no power except for what the King has labored me with! It's a tough job wielding the power from behind the throne...I mean behind the king...for the king, behind him...following him...of course. TDE: And what of Saruman? GW: Upper lip quivers, starts sweating profusely Why, I've never heard of that wizard! TDE: Then how do you know he's a wizard? GW: Who is a wizard? TDE: The wizard Saruman! GW: Oh...that Saruman! Nice fellow. Loves Rohan. Great ally and beloved master...of colors...master of colors...always well dressed, don't you know. TDE: There is talk that you are his mole. GW: Well, we can rule that out right now. Moles are small mammals that live underground and have poor eyesight. Obviously I am not a mole. The whole idea is preposterous! TDE: What I mean is a mole: a traitorous spy hidden in the enemy camp! GW: That's downright silly! I don't believe moles have the wherewithal to spy. And who would they spy on? Badgers? TDE: Rolls eyes again This is getting us nowhere! GW: Precisely my thought, After all, the good Professor despised analogies, so making sinister spies out of small, subterranean mammals would be like... TDE: Making mountains out of molehills? GW: Precisely! Oh, would you like some nice herbal tea? I've just brewed a pot for His Majesty... __________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. Last edited by Morthoron; 07-03-2007 at 08:46 PM.