What do you assign to Mordor?

[Lalwendë]

That special kind of trouser spoiling fear that only comes with being driven at breakneck speed on a surreal route around the city centre by an elderly taxi driver who has an uncanny knack of making the car constantly lurch from side to side, ranting all the while about tax, braking hard behind other drivers, cutting up lorries on roundabouts, yelling about women drivers and going "Eh?!" at everything you say. In a torrential rainstorm.