The most Tolkien-Oriented music you make

[mark12_30]

mark12_30: Hmm . . . I thought I had actually made my intent clear fairly early on in the essay.

Yes; and no; it's woven in with a lot of introductory discussion which would be okay for a book, but not for a paper of that length, I think. (English majors & proffs, feel free to chime in here.) You want your first paragraph to present a simple summary of your overall thrust, and then bluntly announce your main points.

Your opening paragraphs are detailed, rich with material but too intricate (IMO) for an opening paragraph. That kind of intricate material belongs more in the body, I think. Maybe it's a fourth point. Or maybe it's the first point you argue... (point one) "To date, popular conceptions of M-E music ignore Tolkien's overarching theme of initial sophistication followed by slow, poignant decay." Follow with other three points discussed earlier... THen your supporting material in the first several paragraphs becomes the first main paragraph of the body.

However that still leaves out some material you have in there. Alas, I must now get to work. More at lunchbreak I hope!

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 7:51 AM January 30, 2004: Message edited by: mark12_30 ]