A fascinating insider's interview

[Lalaith]

Judging from the family snaps, Adda was quite pleasant-looking but not a stunner - short darkish bob rather than blonde tresses...

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Lalaith

Judging from the family snaps, Adda was quite pleasant-looking but not a stunner - short darkish bob rather than blonde tresses...

More of a Bjork type then?

I'm wondering why the piano was never touched. Because the Prof wanted quiet in order to work or because Edith herself didn't want to play it? As for the wardrobes full of frocks, I can understand that, she was probably a hoarder. Though not going to social functions suggests she had a big lack of self confidence - something you can appreciate given the high level of intelligence people might have displayed in Tolkien's social circle, it might have been very intimidating trying to make chit chat with professors and their brilliant wives!

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Fascinating indeed! Thanks very much, Lalaith, for sharing this with us. I too am wondering why Edith didn't play piano at that time; perhaps she needed all her energy for a household with four children and little money. If I remember rightly from the biography, she did play again later in life.

Carpenter's biography does support the impression that Edith was uncertain in her position and suggests that she compensated by imposing strict rules within the family. She apparently never felt comfortable in academic society.

[Lalaith]

Edith was uncertain in her position and suggests that she compensated by imposing strict rules within the family

That is definitely the impression given by Adda. Poor old Professor, sleeping in the spare room after making too free with the port at college dinners....the old nanny's theory is also interesting. She (Mrs Gro the nanny) said that Tolkien's Catholic guardians did not feel Edith was good enough for him and that probably didn't help.

The piano...again, the impression given is definitely that Edith didn't *want* to play, not that she was discouraged to. I had a few theories...perhaps post-natal depression? The comment Adda makes about Edith spending a lot of time upstairs during the day, perhaps lying down, made me wonder...
Adda is of course coming to the household from the egalitarian social structure of Iceland, so the rigid class system of Oxford really baffled and surprised her. She also came from a society where people worked very hard, so she would not have been used to the idea of ladies of leisure...she (Adda) looked after the children, and the cleaning lady came every day, she says Edith did some cooking and dressed and bathed Priscilla in the mornings but that was about it.

[Mithalwen]

I suspect that Mrs Gro is Jennie Grove, Ediths cousin and sometime companion, if I remember the Bio correctly.

I really think Edith's life was very sad. It is unsuprising that she was unsure of her status. She had the misfortune to be born illegitimate into a time and class that really cared about such things. And she had a talent that marriage prevented her from fulfilling. Edith reminds me more of a great aunt who had been a brilliant violinist, married a dour farmer who went bankrupt and really had a very tough time and as far as I know completely dropped the music. It is particularly sad that Tolkien's insitence on her conversion cut her off from socially acceptable outlets for her talent. I can't help thinking that it might have made her life so much happier if she had been able to remain an Anglican and have an important role in the church community as an organist. Instead she was not allowed to do menial tasks, not allowed to do paid work, just had to keep up appearances on a tiny income.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Mithalwen, you put your finger on a crucial aspect of Edith Tolkien's life, the conversion which was necessary for the marriage yet difficult for her.

In the course of my research on music in Tolkien's works I came across some biographical comments in Scull and Hammond's JRRT Companion and Guide; apparently she did play piano during the marriage, even if not at the time mentioned by the Icelandic helper:

Edith continued to play at home until her hands became stiff with age and she gave her piano to her daughter, Priscilla.

The passage (page 616) goes on to mention the drawing Tolkien made in 1918 of Edith playing piano.

Perhaps she was able to channel some of her emotions into her music later on.

[Bêthberry]

Originally Posted by Estelyn Telcontar

Mithalwen, you put your finger on a crucial aspect of Edith Tolkien's life, the conversion which was necessary for the marriage yet difficult for her.

You put your finger, Estelyn on a very interesting aspect of the marriage. The Catholic Church has never demanded the conversion of a partner in the marriage; it has demanded the argreement that all children will be raised Catholic, but it never forced the non-C partner to convert as a requirement of the marriage.

So this demand must have come from Tolkien himself. Why did he, who was later to be so against bullying domination of others, demand it? What could have made him so insenstive to Edith's own spiritual perspective? I seem to recall Carpenter saying something that Tolkien was also quite indifferent to Edith's own qualms and discomforts with the demands of confession. What caused this?