Ooh la la, Lúthien...

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Originally Posted by Mithalwen

It seem that Tolkien loved the idea of Edith more than the reality.

Aiwendil is right - Mithalwen has expressed a universal truth here. I find it easier to recognize it in others than in myself...

I'm sure the gender gap played a role as well. It has been mentioned that Tolkien felt most comfortable among other men of his own interests and status, and that Edith seems to have resented that fact. The expectations of men and women concerning marriage were widely divergent at that time - though perhaps today's ideas are more unrealistic. Certainly from Tolkien's writings we see that he had a highly idealized notion of what a relationship should be like - his notes on the Elves and their marriages reflect that. Edith may have had her own fantasies about marriage, and without communication, neither had a chance to live up to the other one's expectations.